Why I Love the Commissary

Before I married a soldier I had no clue what a commissary was. It is a grocery store for military members. It is considered one of our military benefits. For some reason, many military members don't take advantage of this wonderful buying option.

When we lived overseas the commissary was a huge blessing. It allowed us to buy familiar foods for reasonable prices. (I can't tell you how soothing peanut butter and hot dogs and American cheese could be when you are feeling home sick!) Because of the fluctuating exchange rate, food from local stores could be quite expensive at times.

When we returned to the states we naturally continued to use the commissary. I was shocked to hear that many fellow military families shun the commissary completely. I am still baffled.

• The commissary doesn't charge taxes but does charge a 5% surcharge to cover expenses. Depending on the state this is likely cheaper than local sales taxes.

• The prices are almost always lower than non-military stores. At each of our stateside duty stations we have lived closer to a local grocery store than the commissary. We go there sometimes for milk or bread, things we need in a pinch when the commissary is closed. Rarely are the prices better. After our most recent move I actually made lists of food items we commonly buy and noted prices at each store I visited. The list of items that are cheaper at another store is quite short. I can buy a huge container of peanut butter at Sam's Club for a few cents less per unit than the same brand at the commissary. I do it because we eat a lot of peanut butter. Those giant bags of Malt-o-meal cereals are cheaper at Walmart but the commissary only carries the smaller bags. (Notice that these are bulk items!) For most common foods, including milk, eggs, bread, cheese, and meat, the commissary is a great deal.

• There are usually coupons available on the shelf for many items. There have been times when I came with no coupons and ended up saving $15 just from in-store coupons. There is also a rewards card  (which I LOVE!) that allows you to go to the commissary website and add coupons to the card. You can then use these in the store without having to click and sort and print.

• The commissary offer many foreign products that you can't buy elsewhere. We appreciate this because we can buy an occasional treat to remind us of our time in Europe. I imagine for military spouses born in those countries this is a true comfort to have a taste of home.

When I talk to others about the commissary I hear a lot about how busy it is. This varies from place to place but generally Wednesday and Thursday mornings are pretty light. Avoid paydays at all cost! I have had good luck on Saturday afternoons but Saturday mornings are usually a nightmare! But isn't this true of most stores?

I guess what baffles me the most are the people who claim to be so savvy, so skilled at saving money, running all over town with their coupon and sales fliers getting good deals. When they share their "deals" with me they are often the same price as the commissary. If they had used that coupon there they would have actually saved more. I usually get a disgusted response like "Ugh! The commissary gives me a headache! Why would I go there?!" Um, one stop shopping? Less gas usage? Great prices? Tons of coupons on the shelf?

I don't get it.

Normally I wouldn't care what other people did. What concerns me is that if this benefit isn't used it will be taken away. Many commissaries have cut their hours due to budget cuts and a few have been completely closed. If the commissary isn't being used congress just might cut the program all together. At our current commissary I most often see retirees. A few spouses who have been around as long as I have know the value of this wonderful service. But the younger crowd don't bother. I might say "their loss". But it isn't. I know the commissary helps keep those retirees off welfare. Someday that will be us. It would be great to utilize the commissary to continue feeding our large, ravenous family of locusts until they are all grown. And feed ourselves for the rest of our lives.

If you haven't been to the commissary in a while, check it out. Make an effort to take advantage of this valuable resource. It just might surprise you!

Keep The Home Fires Burning

Keep The Home Fires Burning

 

They were summoned from the hillside,

They were called in from the glen,

And the country found them ready

At the stirring call for men.

Let no tears add to their hardships

As the soldiers pass along,

And although your heart is breaking,

Make it sing this cheery song:

Keep the Home Fires Burning,

While your hearts are yearning.

Though your lads are far away

They dream of home.

There's a silver lining

Through the dark clouds shining,

Turn the dark cloud inside out

Till the boys come home.

Overseas there came a pleading,

"Help a nation in distress."

And we gave our glorious laddies -

Honour bade us do no less,

For no gallant son of freedom

To a tyrant's yoke shall bend,

And a noble heart must answer

To the sacred call of "Friend."

Keep the Home Fires Burning,

While your hearts are yearning.

Though your lads are far away

They dream of home.

There's a silver lining

Through the dark clouds shining,

Turn the dark cloud inside out

'Til the boys come home.

Lessons From The Move; Part 2

We prayed about this move. We wanted to know that it was the right thing, even though we have little control over when the Army says "Go".

We got our answer. We the answer was not just "yeah, sure, whatever" but a strong and powerful "YES!"

So why did it take 4 months to get into a house?

For one thing, even though we were clear on the big picture, we were still fuzzy on the details. Like whether we should buy or rent or live on Post. Try as we might, we were still questioning which of those was right up until the day we closed. Really.

We were also a little unclear about the where. We had done plenty of research about the schools, the wards, the housing market, etc. We knew what we wanted and what we could afford. We even found several houses that met all of our criteria.

One after another slipped through our fingers.

When something like this happens, the first reaction is to question yourself. "Did we do something wrong?"
"Did we misunderstand?"

There is a mentality that if you pray and get an answer then everything will go smoothly. I don't know why we think that. ALL evidence is to the contrary.

One example that became very meaningful to me was the story of Lehi's journey to the Promised Land.  Lehi was told to take his family into the desert. He had to send his sons back twice. We could ask "Why didn't they plan better before they left so they didn't have to return?" But think of all the lessons and growth they would have missed if that had not happened.

Because of those return trips, Nephi learned exactly why they needed the Plates of Brass. (1 Nephi 4:13-16) Sariah's faith in her husband's vision was strengthened. (1 Nephi 5:8) Zoram was spared from the destruction of Jerusalem. (1 Nephi 4:34-35)

Throughout this story we see that both the wicked and the righteous suffered but their perspectives were very different. (1 Nephi 16) Nephi broke his bow, even though he had been obedient. Everyone was hungry and tired from their journey. 1 Nephi 17:1-4 gives more insight into what they all suffered during this time. 

1 And it came to pass that we did again take our journey in the wilderness; and we did travel nearly eastward from that time forth. And we did travel and wade through much affliction in the wilderness; and our women did bear children in the wilderness.


2 And so great were the blessings of the Lord upon us, that while we did live upon raw meat in the wilderness, our women did give plenty of suck for their children, and were strong, yea, even like unto the men; and they began to bear their journeyings without murmurings.

3 And thus we see that the commandments of God must be fulfilled. And if it so be that the children of men keep the commandments of God he doth nourish them, and strengthen them, and provide means whereby they can accomplish the thing which he has commanded them; wherefore, he did provide means for us while we did sojourn in the wilderness.

4 And we did sojourn for the space of many years, yea, even eight years in the wilderness.

Amazing, isn't it? They were surviving on raw meat and probably little of it, too. Yet they were blessed with strength. Their children were healthy and strong as well.

And did you catch that part at the end? The part that says it took 8 years? 8 years!!! And that was just to reach the ocean. Their total travel time to the Promised Land was 11 years!

I felt fortunate that our family happened to be reading this part of the Book of Mormon this summer. It seemed that each chapter addressed another aspect of our own journey to a new home.

The scriptures are FULL of similar experiences. The Israelites spent 40 years in the wilderness. While there may have been some who were rebellious and in need of hard lessons, there were others who were obedient among them. (Joshua 5:6)

Samuel was not wrong when he ordained Saul and David as kings. Their failings came through their own disobedience, not Samuel's.(1 Samuel 9:17, 1 Samuel 16:12)

 How lonely it must have been for Noah and his family, the only survivors of the cleansing Flood. Their challenges must have been great. (Genesis 7:23)

Abraham was obedient yet he was commanded to sacrifice his son. Even though we know the happy outcome, it must have been a heart-wrenching experience for Abraham in that moment. (Genesis 22)

The early Latter-Day Saints were driven from one place after another. Just when they were feeling settled and able to partake of the blessings of the Temple they were driven from Kirtland and Nauvoo by angry mobs.

Crossing the plains was no romp through a meadow either. Many walked, WALKED over 1000 miles to the Salt Lake Valley. Even in good weather it was hot, dry, barren, and long. Those who left too late in the season also suffered bitter cold, starvation, and loss of loved ones. All faced the threat of wild animals and other hostile forces.

Joseph Smith's entire life is a testament that doing the right thing doesn't lead to temporal comfort. He was beaten, tortured, slandered, hunted. He and his wife lost children. He was imprisoned repeatedly. The Lord's counsel to him in his time of need resonates with us all.

If thou art called to pass through tribulation;...if thou art in perils by land or by sea;...if the billowing surge conspire against thee; if fierce winds become thine enemy; if the heavens gather blackness, and all the elements combine to hedge up the way; and above all, if the very jaws of hell shall gape open the mouth wide after thee, know thou, my son, that all these things shall give thee experience, and shall be for thy good.

The Son of Man hath descended below them all. Art thou greater than he?

Therefore, hold on thy way, and the priesthood shall remain with thee; for their bounds are set, they cannot pass. Thy days are known, and thy years shall not be numbered less; therefore, fear not what man can do, for God shall be with you forever and ever. ( Doctrine and Covenants 122)

Yes, as this passage reminds us, even the Savior suffered. He suffered more than any of us. His life was not a life of comfort and ease. It could have been. He had the power to attain any worldly achievement he desired. Yet he chose to accept the will of our Heavenly Father.

It can be hard, SO hard, to submit to God's will when we know it will cause us pain in the short term. It is a leap of faith. We trust that he knows what he is doing and that whatever happens will be for our good.

Lessons From The Move; Part 1

I have been trying to figure out the best way to share the overwhelming experience we had this summer with moving. I considered trying to piece everything together in a series of chronological events but I just couldn't bring myself to do that.

I realized that I had learned many lessons from this experience. They overlap, sure, but I felt that the lessons would be lost in the story. Still, I need to give a little bit of a framework for everything to make sense.

Here is the beginning...

2012 started off rocky. My husband was nearing the end of a six-month deployment. (Six months instead of twelve because he had a bone graft surgery on his heel and needed to recover first.)


During this deployment, he had asked repeatedly about his future with the unit. Many soldiers were getting orders and the unit was over strength. He was told that he would be staying put. So we prepped our garden, started our oldest son on much-needed allergy shots and made other long-term plans for our family.

He returned home in late February. Within two weeks he was hearing rumors of a PCS (permanent change of station). He started asking around and was told not to worry about it. Orders came for a move to Ft. Eustis, VA. He was still being told not to worry about it, everything was under control.

We started making plans for a move anyway.

By early April it was clear that we were really moving...and SOON! Our report date was July 9 so we had just a few months to either sell or rent our house, pack our stuff, drive hundreds of miles, and find a new home.

We went to the temple, seeking guidance and comfort. We were both feeling overwhelmed and a bit stunned by this sudden change. At that time, I was the choir director at church and we had been working on "The Lord Is My Shepard". In the temple, this hymn kept repeating through my mind. I felt peaceful and reassured that this move was the Lord's will. Armed with that assurance, we set to work.

After consulting with some trusted friends in the business, it became clear that our best option was to rent. We set to working getting the house ready. We have some artistic children who have an uncanny ability to only use permanent materials in their work. (We can't say enough good things about the "paint and primer in one" paint we bought at Lowe's! It covered black permanent marker in ONE COAT!!!!) Our walls were tan. "Tumbleweed" to be specific, with white doors and trim.

We taped and painted and re-taped and painted again. The white didn't quite match so we repainted entire doors to make sure everything looked clean and fresh. We wore ourselves out!!

Don't forget that we were also getting rid of all kinds of junk that we didn't need and sorting things out so it could be packed and unpacked easily. We had been through this kind of thing before and we wanted to be prepared.

My husband and a good friend also pulled up the living room carpet, repaired the loose sub-flooring, and put down wood laminate flooring in the living room and hall.

We did whatever repairs we could prior to the movers coming, including the floor. They packed us up May 29 and 30. The very next day we were painting like crazy! By the way, the kids were out of school by this time. :)

Honestly, it is a blur. But somehow we got everything done.

Our house officially went on the rental market June 7th. We got a call that day from the property manager that someone wanted to look at the house the next day. One look and they wanted it. We loaded up the sleeping bags and suitcases and headed East.

We were planning to spend a week or two with my parents in North Carolina. We felt that we needed to get started on house hunting ASAP so we left the kids in NC and drove through the night to Virginia. It was Sunday and we wanted to go to church and see what we could learn about the area. We took 2 of the little kids with us since we thought they would be the most troublesome.

Things seemed to go well. We met a realtor at church and he showed us some houses we had looked at online. We even found one that met our criteria.

We returned to North Carolina after a few days, optimistic about resolving the housing issue in just a few days.

A few dozen houses and 4 months later we finally closed on a house and were able to move in.

Lessons From The Move; Part 2, coming soon!

Superpowers 101: Moving With Kids

Moving is difficult all by itself. Moving with kids can be a nightmare!

Here are a few tips that have made this stressful time a little more bearable.

1. Talk To The Kids. Talking to the kids on their level can make a huge difference. Kids have feelings, too, you know. A 4 year old might be anxious about their toys and bed. A few reassuring words and a hug can go a long way. Older kids will likely be concerned about making friends and fitting in at a new school. My girls really enjoyed looking at potential houses online. The boys were more interested in school activities and sports.

2. Give Them A Job. Even my 2 year old wanted to be helpful while we cleaned and packed and painted. Of course not every job is kid friendly. Sometimes let the little ones carry things or put something in a bag or box or suitcase. They LOVED it! I gave them a damp sponge and let them clean the kitchen floor. The big kids were very helpful with yard work, cleaning windows, cleaning floors, suitcase packing, and babysitting while we were doing less kids-friendly jobs. There are MANY simple tasks kids can do that make the process just a little easier. This also gives us a chance to talk about their concerns.

3. Allow For a Little Freedom. Each of our kids has a backpack. I allowed them to pack whatever they wanted to keep themselves entertained. They chose toys and books that they personally like. I was a little surprised by what they chose and what they left behind. Not one has complained about their choices. They also are able to play with the things the other children brought so there is some variety.

4. Feeding The Masses. This can be quite a challenge with a large family. Eating at a restaurant can be very expensive, especially if it takes a while to get into a house. Staying in a hotel that offers a hot breakfast can be a HUGE benefit. Even if they just offer cereal, you can feed the kids one meal a day with no added expense.

Look for deals and coupons at local restaurants. We were able to feed the kids a hearty meal at a sit-down restaurant with a "kids-eat-free" night for less than any fast-food place. Even though there is often a limit on the number of kids who eat free it still gave us a sizable discount.

Most hotels offer a microwave and small refrigerator in the rooms. You can buy food at a grocery store and eat adequate meals for much less than a restaurant. Sandwiches, salads, and fresh fruit are filling and healthy. (If your kids aren't used to eating these foods you might get some resistance. Consider eating this way on a regular basis so your family is prepared for unexpected changes)

5. In The Car.  As I mentioned, the kids packed their own bag of toys. This helped keep them entertained in the car.

I also like DVD's for the car. The biggest challenge is that not all the kids can watch at once. We broke down and bought a second DVD player so we have once for each seat. (Some cars come with this but ours doesn't). The biggest drawback to this is that the kids sometimes throw the disks in the floor and they are scratched beyond repair.

My kids like to color in the car, too. It helps to have a book and crayons for each child so they don't fight over them. They are cheap enough to do this easily.

My older kids have started playing road games.  They like the alphabet game, finding each letter in order on road signs.

My daughter recently played the license plate game with me. We found 23 states in just a few hours. (This also gave us time to talk between sightings.)

Superpowers 101:Moving- Packing List

Here are sample packing lists. 

Clothes
4 pants
6 shirts
5 underwear
6 pair of socks
1 pajamas
1 bathing suit
    Boys
1 church shirt
1 church pants
1 church socks
1 church shoes
1 tie
     Girls
1 dress
1 tights
1 church shoes


 I usually only plan for 4 or 5 days worth of clothes at the most. I expect to do laundry every few days at the most. Consider bringing detergent with you.




Unaccompanied Baggage
Towels (1 per person)
Wash cloths (one per person)
2-4 kitchen towels
2 pots (different sizes according to your needs)
1 frying pan
1 spatula (turner)
1 scrapper spatula
1 mixing bowl
1-2 serving/stirring spoon
1 grater
forks (1 per person)
spoons (1 per person)
butter knife (at least 1)
sharp knife (at least 1)
Baking dish
Cookie Sheet
1 Whisk
Plates (1 per person)
Bowls (1 per person)
Measuring cups
Measuring spoons
Basic spices (salt, pepper, sugar.These can be purchased later if necessary)

You can make most basic meals with this list, including sandwiches, cereal, pasta, burgers, hot dogs, cakes, brownies, etc. Adapt it for your own needs. I like to start this early and add to it as I notice what I use often. It also helps to make a list of easy meals you can eat during this time. Then you can make a more accurate list.

Superpowers 101: Moving

We have been in the process of moving for, like, EVER! Okay, not really but it feels like forever. Here are a few things we have learned about moving that might help you, too.

1. Get Started Early.  At the first hint that we might be moving I started cleaning. I got rid of clothes, toys, junk. I deep-cleaned when I had extra time; the fridge, stove, cabinets, closets, etc. We knew we would have to paint the entire house and do a few other repairs. We worked on this as often as possible. We closed off one bathroom after cleaning and painting it. When the time came for the movers to pack us out, we were basically ready. When the time came to leave the house, we only had surfaces to wipe down. That was a GREAT feeling!

2. Make Lists. I know that not everyone likes lists. In this case, I HIGHLY recommend it. Make a very specific packing list; number of socks, which shoes, toothbrushes, etc. This is for the things you will need to use while everything is in boxes.

3. Include The Kids. This is where a details list comes in handy. Any child who can read and follow a list and count out the number of socks and shirts they need. They also like to feel included. I also made lists of things the kids could clean and put them to work. They didn't have much else to do so they really worked hard! (You will want to follow-up on the kids' tasks, you know, make sure they didn't pack sweat shirts in the summer or shorts in the winter!)

4. Prioritize. In our case, selling or renting our house was absolutely our top priority. We worked VERY hard at preparing our home and getting advise from local professionals about making our home marketable. Other priorities were dejunking and packing for the "limbo" phase of the move.

5. Know What You Need. We moved overseas several years ago. This is a long process. The military divides the shipments into "household goods" and "unaccompanied baggage". U.S. moves don't make this distinction but I find it very valuable to make your own "unaccompanied baggage". Items to include are basic kitchen items, towels, bedding, entertainment items like a TV, books, toys, etc. This will get you through those few days or weeks between homes. If you are moving directly from one house to another I would still suggest assigning one or two boxes for these kinds of items so you can function while you are packing and unpacking.

Superpowers 101: Military Homecoming Posters

We were a few short weeks from the end of my husband's deployment.

The kids were so excited they were literally bouncing off the walls!

I needed to channel all that excess energy in a way that would let them focus on their Daddy coming home.

I decided it was time to make the posters.

I searched the Internet for ideas. Pinterest. Military sites. I tried every kind of search keyword combination I could think of. I found a lot of generic stuff.
"We love you"
"We missed you"
"Welcome Home"


I found a few that were suggestive and not really something a child would say to their dad. I was getting frustrated.

My husband would be home shortly after Valentine's Day. As I looked at all the silly little cards my kids gave and received for Valentine's Day I got a few ideas. I realized that the message of the posters was that the kids loved and missed their Daddy. I also realized that some of the kids had short attention spans. I was delighted to find a way of keeping them engaged in the project.

Here are the ideas we used.

This is a picture of a good memory he had with his Dad.

This was going to say "You are the best Daddy in the world" but she forgot so we left it the way it is.

This has transformers that my son chose and colored himself. It says "My hero is more than meets the eye!"

This one just says "I love you" with a picture of her and Daddy...and lots of hearts!

"Daddy, I care-a-lot about you!" with Carebears she chose and glued onto the poster.

"My hero doesn't wear a mask". He chose and colored his other favorite superheros and drew a picture of himself and Daddy as superheros.

I saw some other cool ideas in the hangar that night. One that I especially liked was a large arrow that said "Report here" then the name of the soldier.

I realized that making a memorable, meaningful poster doesn't have to be fancy. It doens't require a lot of skill either. Just a little thought and some creativity.

Superpowers 501: Homecomings, Follow-Up

Aaahhhhhhhhh! All is right with the world again!

Superpowers 501: Homecomings

Yes, you read that right. This is a 500 level class. Maybe even higher! Okay, so maybe not everyone has as much trouble as I do with this subject. But after you read this you will understand.

One of the greatest events in military life is the homecoming. Think of those iconic photos of soldiers in uniform kissing their sweethearts. The ticker tape parades, the balloons, the fanfare. Babies meeting their fathers for the first time.

These moments mean the end of a very long, very stressful period. Deployments are hard. For everyone. The soldiers are lonely and sometimes in life threatening situations. The families are worried and anxious. The children are cranky and confused. Homecomings are the ultimate relief to all of this.

Too bad I haven't had one yet.

True, my husband has been deployed and come home. So in that sense we had a homecoming. But I have somehow missed out on some secret code of the military life.

The first deployment was shortly after we were married. I knew nothing, NOTHING!!! about the military. I quickly learned that the unofficial motto of the Army is "Hurry Up and Wait".

SO when my husband said he would arrive at 8am I expected 9, 9:30 at least. I had a nursing baby at the time. I decided to get up, feed the baby and get to the homecoming ceremony around 6:30. That seemed more than reasonable...right? Imagine my surprise when my husband calls at 6:00 wondering where I am. We were disappointed that we didn't have that "moment" but it was fine. We were just happy to be together again.

Secretly, I made a note to myself that I would show up earlier the next time.

There were a couple of unofficial deployments where there was no ceremony. He just showed up at the hangar or the house and that was it. No real fanfare except from me and the kids.

Then he went to Iraq for a year. It was tough, I won't lie to you. I worked hard to keep things running smoothly. I ran myself ragged so I wouldn't have to think about loneliness and danger. When I got the call that he was coming home I kicked things into high gear. I cleaned the house from top to bottom. I stocked the fridge. I made banners.

He was due in on a Friday. The previous Sunday I had driven our van home from church, locked the doors and gone up to our apartment. Monday I walked the 2 older kids to preschool. Wednesday I walked them to preschool again. Then I ran back to the van to run errands. I had one of those buttons that I used to unlock the doors. I strapped in the twins. Then I got in to start the engine. My key was gone. Gone from the keyring. I spent the rest of the day looking for that key. I even went though a bag of garbage. Unfortunately, I had thrown out one bag already and it had been picked up. I can only guess that the key was in that bag. I never found it. It took three weeks to get a replacement. (Thank you technology for putting microchips in our car keys!!)

I finally gave up on trying to find the key and made arrangements to get to the homecoming ceremony, scheduled for 4am. That's 4 o'clock in the morning!!! I arranged for a friend to come over and sleep on the couch while the kids slept. I would drive her car to the ceremony and bring him home. We agreed that she would be at my house by 1:00.

Now, unlike the first deployment, this one had a stellar FRG and Rear Detachment. They had created a call center for all of us anxious spouses to call and talk to a real person and find out exactly where our husbands were and when they were coming in.

At 10:00 I called the Call Center. I was told that his flight had arrived. I asked if the ceremony was being moved up. I was told no. She said they had to go through customs, etc, and make the 3 hour drive from the airport. "Should I come now? or sooner?" "No. Even if they get here early THEY WILL NOT BE RELEASED UNTIL 4:00." (that is a direct quote.)

I set the alarm for 12:30 and went to bed. I forced myself to go to sleep. I reasoned that I would need the rest. I was exhausted. I fell asleep much faster than I expected.

I was woken from my deep sleep by the sound of my husband's voice and the slamming of a car door. I was out of bed and next to the window in one movement. I looked down at a snow-covered parking lot. Next to the door was car and there stood my husband.

If I thought I was a basket case before, I can't even describe how excited and sick I felt in that moment. I thought I had overslept. Why hadn't my friend come and woken me? I looked at the clock. 12:15? That can't be right.

I opened the door to a cool reception, and it wasn't just the snow. While he brought in bags I called my friend and told her not to come. We spent the next few hours trying to smooth over this terrible disappoint. Even now, I feel the pain of that moment.

That was the last deployment. It was over 6 years ago. While time has certainly soothed much of the pain and disappointment of that expereince, we both still feel it. If we talk about that night, we both fall into feelings of regret. We make excuses and sigh deeply and silently vow that it will NOT happen again.

Now we are coming to the end of another deployment. That homecoming is looming on the horizon like a giant wave, racing to carry us along or come crashing down on us. Which will it be?The anticipation is killing me!

I'll let you know how it turns out!

Songs of Seperation: Leaving On A Jet Plane

Songs of Seperation: I Will

"Love you whenever we're together; Love you when we're apart..."

Songs of Seperation: You Belong To Me

Songs of Seperation: In The Wee Small Hours Of The Morning

"In the wee small hours of the morning

that's the time you miss him most of all..."

Thank Tank, Day 11

I am thankful for all the men and women who have fought for freedom. I am thankful for all the families who supported and loved those soldiers. I am thankful for the doctors and nurses who cared for the wounded in horrendous circumstances. I am thankful for the passions that inspired them all to serve their nation and their fellow men.

Breathes There The Man

Walter Scott

Breathes there the man with soul so dead

Who never to himself hath said,

This is my own, my native land!

Whose heart hath ne’er within him burned,

As home his footsteps he hath turned

From wandering on a foreign strand!

If such there breathe, go, mark him well;

For him no minstrel raptures swell;

High though his titles, proud his name,

Boundless his wealth as wish can claim

Despite those titles, power, and pelf,

The wretch, concentred all in self,

Living, shall forfeit fair renown,

And, doubly dying, shall go down

To the vile dust from whence he sprung,

Unwept, unhonored , and unsung.

5 for Friday

1.

My 5 year old son started Kindergarten this year. We have worked on letters, numbers, colors, and shapes. While I didn't really push hard on these he had a pretty good grasp on the basics. I had noticed, however, that he had started getting certain colors mixed up. At first I thought he was being silly or maybe he didn't know how to classify a certain shade (ex: light green might look yellow). My mom said one of my brothers was the same way. He seemed to forget colors when he started school. I also have 2 uncles who are colorblind so I was aware of the possibility.

I mentioned this to the doctor at my son's school physical. She suggested going online and showing him some colorblind test pictures. I kept forgetting. It wasn't really a priority since there isn't much you can do about colorblindness. The problem is that he is starting to get mixed up on his coloring pages at school. He seems frustrated at times.

One reason I didn't make more effort on the tests is that I wasn't sure he knew his numbers well enough. I thought if he couldn't get the number he might just be confused by what he saw. This week I took my older son to the doctor for allergies. While we were waiting I saw a medical journal that talked about colorblind testing for children. It showed one picture with shapes instead of numbers. I decided to check online for similar tests. I found a few but I liked this one. As you read through the explanation below the picture, you will see that only a person with red-green color deficiency can see the cow and the fox and they can't see the bear.

I asked my son to show me the animals. Sure enough, he pointed out a cow, a fox, a rabbit and a squirrel. I asked if he could see the bear, He said, "No, it's not a bear it's a fox!" I even pointed to the bear. Again he yelled at me and said "Not there! Here!" and pointed to the fox.

I guess that settles it. I am not sure if I need to get a formal diagnosis from a doctor. I might have his eyes checked just for good measure. I am admittedly a little sad. I found a lot of information online about this.  The most interesting is that colorblind people often like yellow. This has been his favorite color for a long time. In fact I have never known a person to be so attached to a color!

2.

My oldest son has been really defiant and rebellious lately. I know some of this is because his father is overseas. I can sometimes see him weighing his options "What will she do if I ____?" It is very frustrating for both of us. I am sure some of this is the dreaded "teenage angst". I had hoped he would be older before he got so moody!



3.

My 20 month old is getting moody, too. He is usually very sweet and good natured. Now, he is throwing some serious tantrums! He's biting people and hitting.

The other day he was having a doozy. I could not calm him down. On a whim, I asked if he missed Daddy. He wailed "DADA!!!!" and buried his head in my chest. It was so pitiful!

Before my husband left, we took pictures of him with each of the children. I bought some plastic frames so each child could have their own photo of themselves with Daddy. I had not given the baby his picture yet. I didn't think he would notice much. That morning, as he was weeping in dispare, I asked one of the other kids to bring me the picture. He hugged it and snuggled up to me. Every minute or so he would look at it, then hug it again. I was so surprised! I guess I shouldn't have been. He is kind of a Daddy's boy and was really starting to get attached when Daddy went away. I have realized that I need to be more aware of my little guy and his feelings.

4.

I like to listen to books on CD when I do housework, especially big jobs like I have been doing this

week.  I went to the library and checked out My Lucky Life In And Out Of Show Business: A Memoir by Dick Van Dyke. Overall, I enjoyed it. It was read by Mr. Van Dyke himself. He has a very positive attitude. I was more disappointed than I expected to learn that he left his wife for another woman after many years of marriage. Although he didn't regret his choices, I saw that aspect of his story as a cautionary tale for all married couples. I couldn't help but wonder how differently things might have been if his wife had been more supportive of his interests. I am not blaming her but the reasons seemed so common and so easily preventable.

5.

I have been trying to nag less and trust my kids more. I have not yelled or gripped about the half finished chores for several days. I also have not been making up the difference as I normally do. I have allowed them to see that happens when they don't do their jobs.

It isn't going well. The house looks like a pigsty! (Relatively speaking) What has been most frustrating is that the kids don't get it. They complain a little and make half-hearted efforts but they have done very little.

Along the same lines, I have been slowly cleaning out closets, drawers, and toy boxes. I have moved most of the toys and books into hiding. Some will be going away for good. I have again been stunned to find their rooms still messy!

This is all part of plan to change the way things work around our home. I need a plan that works for me, personally. I have been given several suggestions but I refuse to spend my day following the childrenw ith a notebook to keep track of who does what and how many minutes they get to play a game or watch TV. I just don't have it in me. I have been paying more attention to our habits and natural abilities and I am working on a system that I think will work. Wish me luck!



5 for Friday!

Here are 5 random glimpses into my life.

1.

"Mommy! close the door we're about to blast off!"

2.

That black stuff would be auto grease, intentionall placed there by my loving husband because I "could use a little color" in my cheeks!

3.



Finally picked the greenbeans

Greenbeans hanging from our garden cage



The pumpkin plants grew up the sides of the cage. They are starting to die off but they were really cool when they were in full bloom!





One of our watermelons. It's a little bigger than a softball.



4.

What children want to capture with a camera.

This was intentionally taken upside-down.

Yes, this is a picture of the TV. A video game, no less. And my son interacting with his favorite character. We REALLY need to get out more!



And we can't forget these Mr. Potato head parts!

5.



Looking up to his hero!





Superwoman and the Deployment

Deployment.

Dun, dun DUNNNNNN!

Imagine you are in a nice, warm, comfortable house and there is a storm outside. You know you will have to go out in that storm. You suspect that it is cold. You can see that it is windy. You KNOW you will get wet. You prepare. You get your coat zipped up, your hat pulled tight, your gloves, scarf, maybe even rain boots and an umbrella. You make sure you are ready to face that storm before you ever go near the door. You are as ready as you are ever going to be.

Then you open the door.

No matter how prepared you are, no matter how accustomed you are to getting wet, you still flinch. You still turn your head from the wind and rain. You may even hesitate on the threshold. Maybe you take a deep breath before plunging out into it. Then you run, head down, shoulders hunched to wherever you are going.

Why do we do this? What harm is that rain going to do? Is the wind really so bad?

It isn't the storm that makes us brace ourselves. It is the change. It is the shock of going from a warm, dry, comfortable place to a cold, wet, miserable place.

That is what it is like in a deployment. You prepare yourself. You know it is coming. You might dread it but you know it won't last forever. But when that day finally comes it slaps you in the face like a cold, hard rain. You gasp, you hesistate. Then you duck your head and plunge into the storm.

OPPORTUNITY

by: Edward Rowland Sill

This I beheld, or dreamed it in a dream:--

There spread a cloud of dust along a plain;

And underneath the cloud, or in it, raged

A furious battle, and men yelled, and swords

Shocked upon swords and shields. A prince's banner

Wavered, then staggered backward, hemmed by foes.

A craven hung along the battle's edge,

And thought, "Had I a sword of keener steel--

That blue blade that the king's son bears, -- but this

Blunt thing--!" he snapped and flung it from his hand,

And lowering crept away and left the field.

Then came the king's son, wounded, sore bestead,

And weaponless, and saw the broken sword,

Hilt-buried in the dry and trodden sand,

And ran and snatched it, and with battle shout

Lifted afresh he hewed his enemy down,

And saved a great cause that heroic day.