Superpowers 101: Finding Time To Read

I love books. I honestly have kind of a hoarding/addiction type attachment for books, especially really beautiful children's picture books. I can NOT pass a Jan Brett book without buying it! (That is why I never go to books stores!)

My quirky vices aside, reading is very powerful to me. I love to finish a book and feel as if I have said goodbye to dear friends. I love that urge I feel to tell my husband about the exciting twist I just read when he asks if anything interesting happened that day. I love the combination of words to form patterns and rhythms that can lull me to sleep at night or create a kind of literary symphony.

Since early childhood I have also loved writing. It is like a fantastic word puzzle that only a select few can solve!

Every author who is asked about the craft gives the same advice to potential writers: READ!

So that is what I started doing.

Not just reading for fun (although I do enjoy it!) but reading to educate myself. For example, if I was reading Harry Potter I might look at the way J.K. Rowling uses point of view to keep the reader in the dark about certain mysteries. If I am reading a book that I don't like, I ask why. Is it the wording? The Characters? The story itself? All this helps me learn the good and bad of writing.

Between simple pleasure and learning a useful skill, I feel compelled to read. Well, now I do. For many years I barely read anything. For one thing, I didn't know what to read. I needed to find a genre that appealed to me. Once I did, I had to make reading a priority.

The first step was reading to my children. I started reading to them at nap time until they fell asleep. I sometimes read kids books but I usually read whatever I wanted to read. The kids would be asleep in a matter of minutes. Sometimes I would keep reading to myself for a little while. Reading aloud had many unexpected benefits for me.

As I began to read more, I started finding other ways to steal a few minutes of reading.

• I read while I waited for the water to boil or the brownies to bake at dinner time.
• I take the book to the bathroom  (honestly the only moments of semi-privacy I get some days!).
• I read for a few minutes at night before going to sleep. 
• I wake the kids in the mornings then read while they eat and get dressed for the day.
• I used to read while I waited for the bus in the afternoons (when I had to drive to the bus stop).
• I take a book with me to all appointments.
• I bring a book with me to youth activities at church. (I wait while the kids participate)
• I like listening to Audio books while I clean, especially a really indepth job. It helps the work go faster!

There are unused minutes in every day. Once you get into a book, one that is hard to put down, you will discover time you never knew you had!

Superpowers 101: Hand-Me-Downs

You might think pass clothes along to someone else is a pretty simple task. You out them in a bag and hand them over. Simple, right?

After years of sorting, sizing, repairing, and reusing kids clothes, I have learned that there is actually more to it than that. A lot more.

Whether you are buying new clothes with plans to pass them on later  or you have some hand-me-downs to sort through from someone else, here are a few tips to consider.

1.  Buy clothes that are durable. Some clothes are made poorly, whether it's thin fabric that wears out easily or poorly stitched seams. Durable clothes are often more expensive but not always. For example, I have had great success with store brand jeans that are made with thicker denim.

2. Avoid trends. Some trends last; princesses and superheros are going to be around for a while. Some trends are just a flash in the pan. I once gave in and bought my daughter a High-School Musical jacket. It was on clearance and she had been begging for it. Within a few months the fad was gone and she didn't want to wear it. Neither did her younger sister. If I had held on to it for my youngest daughter would she wear it today? No. It would definitely be outdated and scream "HAND-ME-DOWN!!!"

3. The fewer frills the better. This is especially true of clothes for small kids. They grow so quickly their clothes rarely wear out. I had several pair of pants for toddlers that I used for boys and girls. They were plain and simple so no one can tell the difference.

4. Clothes shrink over time. I can't tell you how many times I have bought a shirt or pants for a child based on what they were wearing, only to discover that the clothes had shrunk and they really couldn't wear the size I purchased...yet!

5. Involve the kids in the process. Kids have different tastes. This is hard to accept sometimes. An outfit that one child loves, their sibling despises. Letting the kids help gives parents a better idea of what they like and why. Some of my kids were irritated by certain fabrics while others were not. When we have received clothes from others, sometimes we have opportunities to discuss modesty and what makes certain clothing inappropriate.

6. Plan for the future. Sometimes people give me clothes that no one can wear. If they are clean and in good condition ( and if I have the space) I keep them anyway. Kids grow quickly. Sooner or later someone will be able to wear them.

7. Shop your storage first. There have been a few instances where a child needed something like pants and I begrudgingly went out and bought brand new clothes to fill the need. A week or two later I went through our storage of kids clothes and found exactly what I had just purchased. In our case it wasn't a complete waste because those new clothes will be passed on to younger siblings. It is tempting to take the easier path and buy new clothes every time they need them. I still have to police myself and make sure I don't act on impulse when a little effort would save us money.

Keeping your kids dressed and presentable doesn't have to cost a fortune. Storing and organizing clothes takes a little effort but the savings are tremendous!

Superpowers 101: Finding 4-Leaf Clovers

Since I was a kid I have had a knack for finding 4-leaf clovers. I remember the first time I found one. I was outside talking with a playmate. I happened to look down at the grass and something didn't look right. I reach down and grabbed the offending clover and was shocked to find it was real!

I have found that certain places seem prone to these rarities. Our yard in Tennessee was filled with them! We found so many they actually started to loose their appeal. The kids would pick them and give them to their friends. "Here. This is for you because you are my special friend." Their friends would gasp and hug them and be amazed at such a special gift. Then they would say to me late. "They don't know we can get more any time we want!"

What little cons!

Even though I have found many 4 leaf clovers throughout my life, they still hold a special place in my heart. I still get a tiny thrill each time I see one. They remind me of the subtle beauty in all of Heavenly Father's creations. 

Can you find the 4-leaf clovers in these pictures from our yard? (some have more than one!)

 

Superpowers 101: A Good Night's Sleep

Many mothers believe that once their child is born they will never, EVER, sleep again.

NOT TRUE!

Newborns, of course, usually wake up every few hours to eat. That can't be helped. Older kids will have nightmares. Sickness inevitably strikes in the wee hours. Beyond that, adequate sleep is NOT just a distant fantasy for parents.

The first thing you have to do is take a good, hard look at your situation. It is very possible that the reason you aren't sleeping is you!

Are you insecure about your parenting abilities?

Do you feel you are neglecting your child if you are not with them every moment?

Do you think crying = mommy screwed up?

Do you believe that you are somehow making your child better by "sacrificing" your sleep for him?

If you said yes to any of those questions then you are mistaken.

Think about this: what is a parent's role? To prepare their children for adulthood. Sleep is good for kids. They grow when they are asleep. They are happier when they are well rested. (Ditto for you)They are developing habits that will last the rest of their lives.

So, mommy, suck it and sacrifice your feelings for the good of your child!

Here are my guidelines for a good sleeper ( I wouldn't really bother before they are 6 months old. Infants need lots of attention around the clock!)

1. Don't rush in every time they make a sound.  Some people are of the opinion that if their child might be crying and they don't get immediate attention they will be scarred for life. Others will let their kids scream and cry for hours. In my opinion, both are wrong. It's okay to let your child cry for a few minutes. If it is in the middle of the night, they might not even be awake. Give them a little space to figure things out. Eventually, they will have to learn to take care of themselves (unless you are planning to let them live with you for the rest of your lives!)

2. Try new things. Children change as they grow and develop. They might develop a fear of the dark. Trying a nightlight could help. Maybe they need a bedtime snack.  Maybe they are cold or hot at night. My kids seemed to need reassurance that I would be there when they woke up so "see you in the morning" has become part of our nightly routine. Each child is different, each circumstance is different. Experiment and see what works. Just remember the goal is sleep for everyone!

3. Don't reward night waking. It is so tempting to cuddle your baby, sing them lullabies, rock them to sleep, hold them in your arms and stare into their beautiful, angelic face. Do that stuff during the day. If your baby is getting lots attention from you at night they will keep waking up. Instead, keep the lights off, keep the cuddling to a minimum, don't sit on the couch and watch TV with them. Let them know sleep is the only option.

4. Remember who's in charge. That would be you. Parenting sometimes means doing the hard things for the right reasons. If your child is healthy, well-fed, clean, and loved, you are a great mom. Don't let them manipulate you into staying up all night playing and reading and hugging. You don't have to be mean. Just firm. Put them in bed and walk away. (It's okay if you go to your room and cry just don't let them know!)

5. You don't have to be mean to win. I am always shocked when I hear someone say "Oh, don't make them take a nap! That's so mean!" Seriously? No, I don't buy it. It is not mean to make them sleep. Kids need sleep. Parents need sleep. It isn't mean to want a basic human need. If you loose your temper because you are exhausted and you scream and cry and throw things then yeah, that's not good. But saying "Baby, it's time for bed. You need to go to sleep now. I will see you in the morning. Good Night" and then walking away, that's not mean.

6. Consistency is key. I used to think that meant never making exceptions, being ridged and immovable. But I have learned that consistency is much easier than that. In the case of sleeping, consistency simply means making sleep the priority. Maybe you give in sometimes. Maybe you let them stay up a little late once in while. It's okay. But if a good night's sleep is the goal you have to make that clear. You have to keep going back to it and keep doing what you need to do to get it.

7. Be a team. One of the best things my husband has done for me is be on my side in the sleep wars. He is often the voice of reason that says "Send them back to their own bed" when we have night time visitors. He reminds me of my ultimate goal and the consequences of giving in. Without him, I would be a sleep-deprived lunatic!

8. Don't fall for their excuses. As kids get a little older, they start trying to find ways to stay up. Don't fall for it. Make sure they go to the bathroom and get a drink before bed. When they need more tell them "Too bad! You can do that in the morning." They will keep trying and keep getting away with it if you let them.

It might take time. It will definitely take patience and determination. But it can be done!

Superpowers 101: Moving With Kids

Moving is difficult all by itself. Moving with kids can be a nightmare!

Here are a few tips that have made this stressful time a little more bearable.

1. Talk To The Kids. Talking to the kids on their level can make a huge difference. Kids have feelings, too, you know. A 4 year old might be anxious about their toys and bed. A few reassuring words and a hug can go a long way. Older kids will likely be concerned about making friends and fitting in at a new school. My girls really enjoyed looking at potential houses online. The boys were more interested in school activities and sports.

2. Give Them A Job. Even my 2 year old wanted to be helpful while we cleaned and packed and painted. Of course not every job is kid friendly. Sometimes let the little ones carry things or put something in a bag or box or suitcase. They LOVED it! I gave them a damp sponge and let them clean the kitchen floor. The big kids were very helpful with yard work, cleaning windows, cleaning floors, suitcase packing, and babysitting while we were doing less kids-friendly jobs. There are MANY simple tasks kids can do that make the process just a little easier. This also gives us a chance to talk about their concerns.

3. Allow For a Little Freedom. Each of our kids has a backpack. I allowed them to pack whatever they wanted to keep themselves entertained. They chose toys and books that they personally like. I was a little surprised by what they chose and what they left behind. Not one has complained about their choices. They also are able to play with the things the other children brought so there is some variety.

4. Feeding The Masses. This can be quite a challenge with a large family. Eating at a restaurant can be very expensive, especially if it takes a while to get into a house. Staying in a hotel that offers a hot breakfast can be a HUGE benefit. Even if they just offer cereal, you can feed the kids one meal a day with no added expense.

Look for deals and coupons at local restaurants. We were able to feed the kids a hearty meal at a sit-down restaurant with a "kids-eat-free" night for less than any fast-food place. Even though there is often a limit on the number of kids who eat free it still gave us a sizable discount.

Most hotels offer a microwave and small refrigerator in the rooms. You can buy food at a grocery store and eat adequate meals for much less than a restaurant. Sandwiches, salads, and fresh fruit are filling and healthy. (If your kids aren't used to eating these foods you might get some resistance. Consider eating this way on a regular basis so your family is prepared for unexpected changes)

5. In The Car.  As I mentioned, the kids packed their own bag of toys. This helped keep them entertained in the car.

I also like DVD's for the car. The biggest challenge is that not all the kids can watch at once. We broke down and bought a second DVD player so we have once for each seat. (Some cars come with this but ours doesn't). The biggest drawback to this is that the kids sometimes throw the disks in the floor and they are scratched beyond repair.

My kids like to color in the car, too. It helps to have a book and crayons for each child so they don't fight over them. They are cheap enough to do this easily.

My older kids have started playing road games.  They like the alphabet game, finding each letter in order on road signs.

My daughter recently played the license plate game with me. We found 23 states in just a few hours. (This also gave us time to talk between sightings.)

Superpowers 101:Moving- Packing List

Here are sample packing lists. 

Clothes
4 pants
6 shirts
5 underwear
6 pair of socks
1 pajamas
1 bathing suit
    Boys
1 church shirt
1 church pants
1 church socks
1 church shoes
1 tie
     Girls
1 dress
1 tights
1 church shoes


 I usually only plan for 4 or 5 days worth of clothes at the most. I expect to do laundry every few days at the most. Consider bringing detergent with you.




Unaccompanied Baggage
Towels (1 per person)
Wash cloths (one per person)
2-4 kitchen towels
2 pots (different sizes according to your needs)
1 frying pan
1 spatula (turner)
1 scrapper spatula
1 mixing bowl
1-2 serving/stirring spoon
1 grater
forks (1 per person)
spoons (1 per person)
butter knife (at least 1)
sharp knife (at least 1)
Baking dish
Cookie Sheet
1 Whisk
Plates (1 per person)
Bowls (1 per person)
Measuring cups
Measuring spoons
Basic spices (salt, pepper, sugar.These can be purchased later if necessary)

You can make most basic meals with this list, including sandwiches, cereal, pasta, burgers, hot dogs, cakes, brownies, etc. Adapt it for your own needs. I like to start this early and add to it as I notice what I use often. It also helps to make a list of easy meals you can eat during this time. Then you can make a more accurate list.

Superpowers 101: Fairness

Kickball was big to my 3rd grade class. I mean BIG!!! We played it all the time at recess. It seemed the future of the world revolved around those games!

I was not good at it. If I managed to kick the ball (and it wasn't a foul) I was usually tagged out because I was such a slow runner. It was only dumb luck that allowed me to ever progress along the bases.

So, although kickball was everything, I dreaded it. It was a constant reminder of my obvious weaknesses. I knew exactly how well each of my classmates could play the game and I knew I was one of the worst.

Our teacher would always choose 2 team captains and let them choose their teams before we left our classroom. Since I was quiet and hated the game I was never chosen as team captain...until one day.

A boy named Terry was the other captain. We stood in front of the class and took turns selecting our teams. Terry went first. I held my breath, certain he would choose the best player. He chose one of his friends who was not very good. I sighed in relief. I was now free to choose the best player for my team.

Terry again chose a friend over a skilled player.  By the time we had divided our class, I was confident that my team would win. I had all the best players. I couldn't understand why Terry had not made any attempt to choose kids who were good at kickball.

It was a beautiful, sunny day. My team put some serious smack on Terry's team. He became distraught with how badly they were losing. He started crying! He wailed about how unfair it was that my team was winning and his team couldn't even get on base!

Our teacher made us switch teams. Now he was the captain of my team and I was captain of his. He immediately started jeering at my losing team. When his new team won, he even had the nerve to rub it in!

This experience has left me with a deeply personal sense of what "fair" actually means.

Terry and I had the same opportunities to choose good players. The selection of the teams was fair. Was it fair for him to get my team because he was such a cry-baby? No.

He could have learned from his mistake. He could have negotiated with me to trade a few players to make our teams more balanced.

Should I have been punished for knowing who the best players were and choosing them for my team? No! I didn't know about my classmates from any secret source. I just paid attention.



In recent years our nation, and even the world, has suffered serious economic set-backs. Many have blamed wealthy people for their misfortune. Are there unfair economic laws in our country? Yes. Are there business practices that are dishonest and greedy? Absolutely. Are their arrogant, snobby, selfish people? Yes! And not all of them are wealthy!!!

But let's talk about fair. If a person works hard and makes a lot of money, should their money be taken from them by the government and given to the poor? Do those who make little or no effort deserve to be given the money of those who worked for it? Is that what "fair" really means?

Superpowers 101: Reading Books

I love reading. I reached an age in my teen years where I thought there was nothing to read but classics. I didn't read a book for fun until I was in my late 20's. That is when I read Harry Potter. I realized that I love fantasy. I love YA and children's fiction. (I also like biographies but that is beside the point.)

I made frequent visits to the small libraries at our Belgian duty station. The librarian at one library knew me and my tastes. One day she handed me a book. "This just came in. Why don't you read it and tell me if it's any good."

I had a few other books that I was eager to read so that book sat around until it was almost due. I finally started it. And quickly finished it! I LOVED it! It was Princess Academy by Shannon Hale. I read other books by this author and enjoyed them also. A few months after reading Princess Academy, it was awarded a Newbery Honor, a runner-up to the Newbery Medal for "most distinguished contribution to American literature for children." I was thrilled. I felt like one of my friends had been recognized!

Books have that kind of effect on people sometimes. We get so attached to the story, the characters, even the authors at times. Why? What is it about a book that makes it so dear to us?


Not long after this experience I read another book that had been catching my eye on the library shelf. You might have heard of it. It was called Twilight.

It was not at all what I expected. I tore through this series as well. I dragged my kids to the PX the morning Breaking Dawn was released so I could find out what happened. I knew I was a bit obsessed. I thought of it as an indulgence. We were still living overseas and Twilight mania hadn't really hit there...yet.

I was shocked and even disturbed by the obsession I found when I arrived back in the USA. There was a lot of backlash, too. People were passionately in love or passionately in hate! It was crazy!

I read a few articles that were less favorable. I had to admit they made valid arguments. In fact, they were similar to my own concerns as I was reading. Like the maturity of the subject matter. Or the fine line the characters walk (and often cross) between what is acceptable and what isn't. I read those books as a mother, thinking about the standards I wanted for my own children.

The problem with reading those articles is that they swayed me to their way of thinking. I no longer saw the books with the pros and cons I had originally seen. I no longer felt the same way about the story or its message. This has been a disappointment. My reading experience was ruined. The deeper question is, were they right?


I recently read another popular series, The Hunger Games. I had seen many articles and blog posts about this series as well. I intentionally avoided the opinions of others. I wanted to read this series and make my own decision. I wanted to decide for myself whether it was worth reading or not. I liked these books also. I found much that was insightful and thought-provoking. Then I read some of those "anti-Hunger Games" blog posts.

I found the protests weak and petty. I suddenly saw those critics as shallow and mean. I was shocked that they focused on small details to support their "shun everything" mind-set. I was annoyed with myself for ever thinking they were people I might look to for insight or wisdom.

This time their toxic words did not change me. They did not influence my feelings about the story. If anything I felt encouraged that I could find value and worth. I found new meaning in the 13th article of faith "If there is anything virtuous, lovely, or of good report, or praiseworthy we seek after these things." Could it mean that we seek the praiseworthy where others see trash? Is it the ability to skim off the bad and retain that which has value?

How does that translate to people? Do we see value in everyone? Or do we focus on the undesirable and possibly obvious flaws and weaknesses?

The point of all this is that we each have the power within us to discern right and wrong, good from evil. We each have the ability to think, to reason, to compare. Ultimately, we choose how to view the world around us. Are we judging books (and people) by their covers? By their blurbs? By the reviews of critics? OR do we take the time to open the book, read it for our selves and make a judgement based on our personal experience?

Superpowers 101: Military Homecoming Posters

We were a few short weeks from the end of my husband's deployment.

The kids were so excited they were literally bouncing off the walls!

I needed to channel all that excess energy in a way that would let them focus on their Daddy coming home.

I decided it was time to make the posters.

I searched the Internet for ideas. Pinterest. Military sites. I tried every kind of search keyword combination I could think of. I found a lot of generic stuff.
"We love you"
"We missed you"
"Welcome Home"


I found a few that were suggestive and not really something a child would say to their dad. I was getting frustrated.

My husband would be home shortly after Valentine's Day. As I looked at all the silly little cards my kids gave and received for Valentine's Day I got a few ideas. I realized that the message of the posters was that the kids loved and missed their Daddy. I also realized that some of the kids had short attention spans. I was delighted to find a way of keeping them engaged in the project.

Here are the ideas we used.

This is a picture of a good memory he had with his Dad.

This was going to say "You are the best Daddy in the world" but she forgot so we left it the way it is.

This has transformers that my son chose and colored himself. It says "My hero is more than meets the eye!"

This one just says "I love you" with a picture of her and Daddy...and lots of hearts!

"Daddy, I care-a-lot about you!" with Carebears she chose and glued onto the poster.

"My hero doesn't wear a mask". He chose and colored his other favorite superheros and drew a picture of himself and Daddy as superheros.

I saw some other cool ideas in the hangar that night. One that I especially liked was a large arrow that said "Report here" then the name of the soldier.

I realized that making a memorable, meaningful poster doesn't have to be fancy. It doens't require a lot of skill either. Just a little thought and some creativity.

Superpowers 501: Homecomings, Follow-Up

Aaahhhhhhhhh! All is right with the world again!

Superpowers 501: Homecomings

Yes, you read that right. This is a 500 level class. Maybe even higher! Okay, so maybe not everyone has as much trouble as I do with this subject. But after you read this you will understand.

One of the greatest events in military life is the homecoming. Think of those iconic photos of soldiers in uniform kissing their sweethearts. The ticker tape parades, the balloons, the fanfare. Babies meeting their fathers for the first time.

These moments mean the end of a very long, very stressful period. Deployments are hard. For everyone. The soldiers are lonely and sometimes in life threatening situations. The families are worried and anxious. The children are cranky and confused. Homecomings are the ultimate relief to all of this.

Too bad I haven't had one yet.

True, my husband has been deployed and come home. So in that sense we had a homecoming. But I have somehow missed out on some secret code of the military life.

The first deployment was shortly after we were married. I knew nothing, NOTHING!!! about the military. I quickly learned that the unofficial motto of the Army is "Hurry Up and Wait".

SO when my husband said he would arrive at 8am I expected 9, 9:30 at least. I had a nursing baby at the time. I decided to get up, feed the baby and get to the homecoming ceremony around 6:30. That seemed more than reasonable...right? Imagine my surprise when my husband calls at 6:00 wondering where I am. We were disappointed that we didn't have that "moment" but it was fine. We were just happy to be together again.

Secretly, I made a note to myself that I would show up earlier the next time.

There were a couple of unofficial deployments where there was no ceremony. He just showed up at the hangar or the house and that was it. No real fanfare except from me and the kids.

Then he went to Iraq for a year. It was tough, I won't lie to you. I worked hard to keep things running smoothly. I ran myself ragged so I wouldn't have to think about loneliness and danger. When I got the call that he was coming home I kicked things into high gear. I cleaned the house from top to bottom. I stocked the fridge. I made banners.

He was due in on a Friday. The previous Sunday I had driven our van home from church, locked the doors and gone up to our apartment. Monday I walked the 2 older kids to preschool. Wednesday I walked them to preschool again. Then I ran back to the van to run errands. I had one of those buttons that I used to unlock the doors. I strapped in the twins. Then I got in to start the engine. My key was gone. Gone from the keyring. I spent the rest of the day looking for that key. I even went though a bag of garbage. Unfortunately, I had thrown out one bag already and it had been picked up. I can only guess that the key was in that bag. I never found it. It took three weeks to get a replacement. (Thank you technology for putting microchips in our car keys!!)

I finally gave up on trying to find the key and made arrangements to get to the homecoming ceremony, scheduled for 4am. That's 4 o'clock in the morning!!! I arranged for a friend to come over and sleep on the couch while the kids slept. I would drive her car to the ceremony and bring him home. We agreed that she would be at my house by 1:00.

Now, unlike the first deployment, this one had a stellar FRG and Rear Detachment. They had created a call center for all of us anxious spouses to call and talk to a real person and find out exactly where our husbands were and when they were coming in.

At 10:00 I called the Call Center. I was told that his flight had arrived. I asked if the ceremony was being moved up. I was told no. She said they had to go through customs, etc, and make the 3 hour drive from the airport. "Should I come now? or sooner?" "No. Even if they get here early THEY WILL NOT BE RELEASED UNTIL 4:00." (that is a direct quote.)

I set the alarm for 12:30 and went to bed. I forced myself to go to sleep. I reasoned that I would need the rest. I was exhausted. I fell asleep much faster than I expected.

I was woken from my deep sleep by the sound of my husband's voice and the slamming of a car door. I was out of bed and next to the window in one movement. I looked down at a snow-covered parking lot. Next to the door was car and there stood my husband.

If I thought I was a basket case before, I can't even describe how excited and sick I felt in that moment. I thought I had overslept. Why hadn't my friend come and woken me? I looked at the clock. 12:15? That can't be right.

I opened the door to a cool reception, and it wasn't just the snow. While he brought in bags I called my friend and told her not to come. We spent the next few hours trying to smooth over this terrible disappoint. Even now, I feel the pain of that moment.

That was the last deployment. It was over 6 years ago. While time has certainly soothed much of the pain and disappointment of that expereince, we both still feel it. If we talk about that night, we both fall into feelings of regret. We make excuses and sigh deeply and silently vow that it will NOT happen again.

Now we are coming to the end of another deployment. That homecoming is looming on the horizon like a giant wave, racing to carry us along or come crashing down on us. Which will it be?The anticipation is killing me!

I'll let you know how it turns out!

Superpowers 101: Forgiving and Being Perfect

During January the theme for sacrament meeting was forgiveness. For those of you who don't know, we don't have a preacher or minister who gives a sermon each week. Instead members of the congregation are asked to speak on a certain topic. Often it changes from week to week. Those of you who are familiar with this style of worship will recognize that during the past month I have heard approximately 9 talks about forgiveness.

You would think this might get old. Each time another speaker stood at the mic and said "I have also been asked to speak about forgiveness" I started to tune them out a little. I might have figuratively rolled my eyes and thought "Again?!"

But I dutifully listened as best I could while wrangling 7 children. And you know what? I learned something. A few somethings, actually.

I learned that after hearing the same message week after week it actually started to sink in. If it had just been the one week I might have forgotten but as the messages were drilled into my mind, they found their way into my hardened heart.

Which is another thing I learned. I have been hard-hearted lately. I have been proud and neglectful of my spiritual duties. I have made mistakes and arrogantly dismissed them as inconsequential. Hearing my peers share their personal experiences of repentance and forgiveness helped me see my own need to repent and seek forgiveness. It also helped me see my need to forgive others.

Another consequence of this repeated message is that I reflected on the subject more than I normally would. I pondered the relationship between repenting and forgiving. This led to another idea that has been percolating for some time.

A few years ago I watched movie about baseball. There was one player who was practicing some kind of idol worship in the hopes of winning the game. Another player was offended by this and they argued. At one point the offended player asks "Are you saying Jesus can't play baseball?" I wondered about this.

We often talk of Jesus as being perfect. But what does that really mean? Does it mean he is the perfect baseball player? Does sing with perfect pitch? How about cooking? Cleaning? Accounting? Does his perfection mean the same thing it means to us in the worldly sense?

I am not going to speculate further about what talents and abilities Jesus might have. However, this line of thinking has lead me to some pretty interesting conclusions. Let me explain further.

Around this same time, I was teaching a Sharing Time lesson in Primary. It was also about repentance and included a verse from Matthew 5:48 "Be ye therefore perfect, even as your Father which is in heaven is perfect." I had struggled with how to present the lesson to the children in a way that would be interesting and memorable.

Just as I was preparing to teach the lesson an idea occurred to me. I wrote the verse on the board and made some obvious mistakes. I then asked the children to point out the imperfections in my work. They were eager to do this. :)

As each flaw was discovered, we erased the mistake and made the correction. I explained that repentance was like an eraser. It helps us correct the mistakes we make so that we can become more acceptable to our Heavenly Father.

I don't know about the kids but I was impressed by this. I had long hated that verse. I had thought of "perfect" as I described before; the ability to do everything flawlessly. I felt ashamed of my seriously lacking athletic abilities and lamented the frailties of my mechanical skills. I would never be perfect! I would be cast off forever! Why even try?!

Okay, so that might be a little over dramatic... but not much. Anyway, as I was explaining this lesson to the children the light finally went on in my head. I understood, or at least caught a faint glimpse at understanding far down the road, what perfection means to God.

Perfection means trying not to make mistakes (i.e., breaking commandments) and fixing them when we do. Since none of us can write the story of our lives flawlessly, without any editing or spellcheck, we must revise in order to present an acceptable manuscript.

This understanding has given me great peace. I have also gained better perspective. Oh, sure, I might try to through a pity party from time to time (and usually fail miserably!) but I am much more likely to cut myself some slack than I used to. I also accept the imperfections of other more easily. Which means I am more forgiving of them when they make mistakes.

Superpowers 101: Speaking A Foreign Language, Baby

**Edit** I guess the video has been removed from youtube. Sorry! Here a few links to the information I was refering to.
http://dunstanbaby.com/cms/index.php?page=us-home

http://www.asseenontvvideo.com/512022/Dunstan-Baby-Language-as-seen-on-Oprah.html



One of the greatest mysteries in life is understanding waht you baby wants. All that crying and screaming, your exhaustion and frustration, leads to a miserable expereince as a mother of a newborn.

I recently watched this video. It is fascinating! What really impressed me is that I recognized the hunger sound, the distressed sound and the tired sound as soon as I heard them. I would not have been able to repeat it for otheres but I recognized it right away. I alos realized that my youngest son often had the "lower gas" cry. I recognized it immediately when I heard it on the video but I didn't know how to handle it at the time. Not all of my children had this problem.

I reflected that modern mothers are struggling with this because our society has changed so much. We no longer live in small communities where children grow up around other babies and children, hearing their cries and seeing how to respond. We don't live with expereinced mothers who can point out the meaning of the cry to help the mother learn it quickly.

We have segregated ourselves according to age or expereince or current situation. In doing so we have severly limited ourselves and aour abilities to handle all of life's challenges. We feel like failures. We have convinced ourselves taht we should be able to do everything through instinct or reading a book. We alos let our pride interfere. I remember feeling slightly affronted when more expereinced mothers tried to tell me what my baby needed. When I have casually commneted "Oh, your baby is so tired!" I have recieved the same glares I likely gave a decade ago.

I had one other thought while watching this video. Parents seem to think that they need to get their babies calm and quiet before they put them to bed. There is this idea that we should be all our child needs. I have noticed with my own babies that sometimes they are crying becaseu theya re tired...of me! SOmetiems they want to go to bed and sleep but I have stubbornly bounced nad burped and fed and cuddled, sure that they needed something I hadn't tried yet. And they did! When I finally learned to put my babies down from time to time we were both happier!

Each child is different in how they want to be soothed and comforted. There is still a little trial and error involved even if you recognize the cry. My advie to young mothers is to swallow a little pride and prayfully concider the commnets and advoce of more expereinced mothers. Not all will be useful (or even safe!).

Motherhood is challenging, there is no question about that! But it doesn't have to be miserable.

Superpowers 101: Making Choices

The past few weeks have been...um...hellish.
In the past month the following things have broken in some way:

1. My sewing machine
2. Big Screen TV
3. Transmission in our Suburban
4. Several drinking glasses
5. Dishwasher
6. Washing Machine
7. Dryer
8. Cover on the back of the toilet
9. Cookies

The following illnesses have inflicted some members of the household:
1. Flu
2. Conjunctivitis
3. Strep
4. Flu, again
5. Common Cold
6. Various cuts, scrapes and bruises

My Kindergarten has been kicked off the bus twice for hitting his seat partner.
My daughter is being bullied by her classmates
My twins have been officially diagnosed with ADHD
I have been hoarding serious amounts of stress in my neck!

Not to mention rain, shopping, Christmas stuff, sleepless nights, dirty dishes, clean clothes being put back in the dirty laundry because someone touched them, mountains of laundry to be washed or folded (either way it is a mountain!)

I have been asking myself why this is happening. WHY?! I have pleaded with heaven to explain to me the reasons for my torture! What did I do to deserve this?! Show me my mistakes and I promise, I PROMISE, to NEVER EVER do those things again!!! (Imagine a sobbing emoticon here)

During this time I have also been working on the program for Christmas Day. I have spent a lot of time thinking about Mary and Joseph. What did they go through? They had been visited by angels! Then Joseph had to go off to get taxed in Bethlehem.

Did they pray about this trip? Is that why Mary went along instead of having her special baby at home with her family? Were there other factors?

Let's say they did get assurance that she should go with him. They get to Bethlehem and can't find a place to stay. Then "Oh great, I'm in labor. Now what?" Did they wonder if they had made a mistake along the way? Did they ask why?

How did they feel when the Messiah was born in an animal stall? Did it break their hearts to place him in the manger because there was no where else to lay him? Did they have any self doubt?

All these things happened for a reason. They were part of God's plan, not a punishment. Did Mary and Joseph know this?

Thinking of them helped me put my own trials into perspective. As I thought of this lesson I asked once again "Did I bring this misery on myself? Did I make some choice that led me to this?" I was humbled by the realization that the answer is yes.

I did make a decision that brought me sorrow and pain and suffering. But it also brought peace and joy and love. I chose to follow Jesus Christ. I chose Heavenly Father's great plan of happiness, the plan that included mortality. I chose this mortal life of trials and temptations, suffering and sorrow. Was it a hard choice? Did I really know what I was getting into? How could I?

Now that I am here, experiencing all that life has to offer, both bitter and sweet, do I choose it still? More importantly, do I still choose Him?

Yes. YES!!! I do! Choosing Christ means choosing the path that will make me strongest. It means choosing the path that will lead me home. It means choosing the hard times. Knowing I chose Him once means I can do it again. I can face my challenges secure in the hope that I am making the right choices. It also gives me new perspective. I see these challenges a little differently. I see that I can choose how I deal with them. I also see that Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ will help me through them.

I also see Christmas differently. I see it not only as a celebration of the birth of our Savior but as a fulfillment of the plan. I see it as the begining of hope for all of us. In that precious moment our chance for eternal life was born.

"Joy to the world! The Lord is come!"

Superpowers 101: Bridge Building

September 24, 2011 was the General Relief Society Meeting of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. It was a wonderful meeting. Our local stake held an activity prior to the broadcast with light refreshments and a kind of show-and-tell from each ward Relief Society in the Stake. It was wonderful to see the service each group offers to the sisters in their ward and community.


I have attended many of these broadcasts. I have enjoyed the fellowship of Relief Society sisters from several countries and many states in the US. I have developed life-changing friendships with women of many different ages and family structures; single, married, grandmothers, great-grandmothers, childless, adoptive mothers, mothers with any number of children of every age. I have benefited richly from this fellowship. And I owe it all to Relief Society.

I was thinking all of this as I sat with sisters from my ward, munching treats and gabbing about random stuff. It felt good. Really good. I have always believed that no matter where in the world I go, if there is a Relief Society I will be home. What an amazing gift our Heavenly Father has given us! I really don't feel deserving!

(Now, hopefully you are all feeling this cozy, happy, comfort that I felt that night. You are reflecting on your own blessings from Relief Society.)

Just before we went into the chapel for the broadcast, our stake Young Women's President stood up. She shared her concerns for the young women of the stake. She pleaded with us to open our arms and hearts to them so they would not be turned off by the "old ladies" in Relief Society. She reminded us of the terrible losses during the single years when the young women are no longer "Young Women" but don't feel like they have a place in Relief Society either.

I honestly didn't hear most of the broadcast. I was so preoccupied with this issue. I know it is a serious one. It is not limited to our little corner of the world.

I thought about my own transition. It didn't seem so bad. Why?

Well, for one thing, when I was a teenager my mom was the Relief Society President in our ward so I got pretty familiar with the program. That year there was a request for us to do an on-going service project. Our ward made over 80 quilts for the local homeless shelter. The Young Women were invited to many Relief Society meetings to help tie quilts. While they did their "old lady" stuff we worked and talked. Because teenage girls can never talk enough, right?

After my mother was released our Young Women's President was called as the new Relief Society President. She had 2 daughters who were close to my age. I know that the Young Women of our ward were important to her. When my fellow Laurels and I were nearing graduation we were invited to Relief Society activities and there was even a special ceremony to welcome us. The details are a bit hazy but I remember being given a flower and thinking that it was really sweet of the RS Presidency to go to so much trouble. I guess they had the same concerns all those years ago.

Another factor that made my transition easy was the fellowship of the sisters in our ward. They were kind and friendly to the Young Women. I knew most of them and they were so eager to welcome me. I had my mother, grandmother, aunt, my cousin's wife, not to mention more distant relatives (yes, I came from one of "those" families!). We would joke and laugh and share gum or candies down the row. I felt I had joined some sort of club or... women's society...which I had. And they LOVED new members!

I also went to college in Utah. (That's kind of cheating, I know) I attended a student ward with students teaching and leading and doing Visiting Teaching. It was like playing "old lady". It wasn't that serious. Except that there were some girls in our ward with real problems. I discovered that while I was worried about which boy might like me and whether or not my hair was dumb, other girls my age were being raped, molested, and otherwise abused by boyfriends, neighbors and even family members. There were eating disorders and even substance abuse. Some were at BYU in the hopes that they could break out of their messed up worlds. For them, it was like going to a spiritual rehab clinic.

For me, it was like a crash course in how to put what I had learned into practice. For all the fake cheeriness that goes on in the church there is also suffering. Learning this lesson helped me grow up. Relief Society is not about knitting or baking. It isn't treat bags and scrapbooking. It is offering support to the suffering and comforting the needy. Befriending the lonely. It is lifting the fallen, strengthening, preparing, guiding, loving. It is WORK!!! And it is NOT for the faint of heart!

If we think Relief Society is for fun, for entertainment, for leisure, for friendship, we don't get it. Oh, sure. Relief Society provides all of that. But that isn't the true purpose. Relief Society is SO much more!

That is the message we need to send to our Young Women. And maybe ourselves. Service, kindness, love, these are not limited by age or marital status. They are not the interests of "old ladies" alone but all of Heavenly Father's children. With these stones in place, the bridge to Relief Society is easily passable.

How was your transition from Young Women to Relief Society?

Superpowers 101: Rescuing The Stranded

I have always had a soft spot for missionary work. It is thrilling to think of sharing the many blessing that come with membership in the true church. But, sadly, I am a big chicken. Once upon a time I was zealous, even pushy, about telling people about the church. It didn't produce much fruit. Well, none really. Then I got distracted by life and became a bit of a recluse when it came to the gospel. As an adult, I didn't have to interact with non-members much. It isn't like high school where you don't have a choice. I don't work outside the home either so I didn't have to speak to anyone who wasn't LDS if I didn't want to. And I didn't.


I realized a few years ago that I needed to make some changes in this area of my life. It has been hard. I still feel a little nervous participating in non-church activities. I used to feel panic and dread so I guess nervous is an improvement.

Being around non-members has been humbling for me. I have asked myself more than once "What can I offer them that they don't already have?" Now, I know my LDS readers will instantly think of a dozen answers to that question but how would I say that to a non-member? We tend to attract people with activities and friendship. What if they already have that? What makes our friendship better than the ones they already have?

I have been surprised by the answer I have gotten as I pondered this problem. The Spirit has guided me from one thought to another over the past several months. I was sharing my experience with an LDS friend and suggested she join me in going to a non-church activity. She said, "I don't really need that. Relief Society is enough for me."

Now, I might have said that myself a few years ago. I fully understand that sentiment and I don't mean to sound critical of her or that comment. At that same time, I felt a rush of uncomfortable, upset feelings when she said that. I was surprised and I didn't really understand why I was feeling that way. I felt disturbed by my feelings.

I though "Why isn't Relief Society enough for me?" I felt disappointed in myself, as if I have rejected the gospel by seeking outside friendships and support. I spent several days reflecting on this. I realized that wasn't really true but I continued to wonder why I felt so compelled to associate with non-members.

I reflected again on the wonderful examples of faithful women I have come to know. They have motivated me to do better. I have become spoiled in the gospel. I really haven't had to work very hard and I have become lazier in my old age.

I was still thinking about this a few days ago when a story came forcefully into my mind. It is the story of the Willie and Martin Handcart Companies. They were stranded in the snow on their way to Salt Lake City. The people were dying. Word reached President Brigham Young during General Conference. He immediately stood and said

“I will now give this people the subject and the text for the Elders who may speak to-day and during the conference, it is this, on the 5th day of October, 1856, many of our brethren and sisters are on the plains with hand-carts, and probably many are now 700 miles from this place, and they must be brought here, we must send assistance to them. The text will be, ‘to get them here.’ I want the brethren who may speak to understand that their text is the people on the plains, and the subject matter for this community is to send for them and bring them in before the winter sets in. …

“I shall call upon the Bishops this day, I shall not wait until to-morrow, nor until [the] next day, for 60 good mule teams and 12 or 15 wagons. I do not want to send oxen, I want good horses and mules. They are in this Territory, and we must have them; also 12 tons of flour and 40 good teamsters, … 60 or 65 good spans of mules, or horses, with harness. …

“I will tell you all,” said he, “that your faith, religion, and profession of religion, will never save one soul of you in the celestial kingdom of our God, unless you carry out just such principles as I am now teaching you. Go and bring in those people now on the plains, and attend strictly to those things which we call temporal, or temporal duties, otherwise your faith will be in vain; the preaching you have heard will be in vain to you, and you will sink to hell, unless you attend to the things we tell you” (Deseret News, Oct. 15, 1856, 252). (as quoted by Gordon B. Hinckley, October 2006)

I thought of the circumstances of this event. 700 miles is a long way, even today. It would take time to make preparations and reach those in need. Would it really matter if they had finished the conference? Would it really matter if they waited until the next day? Apparently it would. Every moment was precious to those who were starving and freezing. Their brothers and sisters in Salt Lake were not suffering. They could have continued to live their comfortable lives and left those pioneers to die. It wouldn't make a difference in their lives, would it? President Young did not mince words. Our faith means nothing if we don't exercise it. "Faith without works is dead."(James 2:17)

So, what does this have to do with having non-member friends? Everything! There are many struggling to reach the truth but they are often detained by the many unpredictable challenges of life. They would be here if there was someone to bring them in. They are in need of rescue, maybe even more than those early saints. Who will go out into the cold and dangerous wilderness to find them? It must be us, the faithful members of the church.

In the moment it took for all these thoughts to converge, I heard the words of my friend again. "I have it, I don't need anything else." The powerful response echoed in my mind "They need you."

This isn't the first time I have had the idea that others needed me to be an example and share the blessing of the gospel. I often dismiss this idea as arrogance. Who do I think I am? But I am coming to understand that I have been richly blessed, not because I deserve it, because I am so much better than someone else, but because the Lord has given me a mission and I need to get on with it.

I am still a big chicken. I know I must rely on the Lord to keep from having a panic attack every time I tell someone what church I go to. My hope is that I can get past that and do what the Lord would have me do. I hope that I can go to the rescue of those brothers and sisters in need and bring them safely to the valley.

Superpowers 101: Iron Sharpening

A few years ago, a friend of mine shared this verse with me: "Iron sharpeneth iron; so a man sharpeneth the countenance of his friend." Proverbs 27:17 I think about that phrase from time to time. It is important to note that this friend is not LDS. She is, however, very devoted to her own religion. Over the past few years I have come to realize that her influence in my life has been powerful. Her perspectives have given me new insights and understanding into my own religion. Her devotion has left me feeling ashamed of  my own spiritual laziness. She isn't the only friend who has done this for me.

When I look back at some of the turning points in my testimony growth, I see several members of other faiths. Why? Why are non-LDS playing such a pivotal role in my spiritual growth?

For one thing, Latter-Day Saints don't corner the market on testimony. I have been really humbled to realize how strongly devoted many other Christians are despite their "limited knowledge and understanding". And they are richly blessed for it! No wonder they find Mormons arrogant and insulting when we try to tell them they are wrong!

Superpowers 101:Adventures in Gardening

We have tried to have a garden for the past few years. Sometimes it works out, sometimes, not so much. This year has been quite successful. We still tend to learn through the trial-and-error method but we are really excited about the succes of our efforts this year.

Here are some of the fruits of our labors.

Our first tomatoes

Tomatoes and herbs

Raspberries

.

  

 Strawberries

Grapes

Pumpkins!

Pepper

Greenbeans climbing the fence

Corn

Superpowers101: Writing

A few days ago I commented on another blog. The author had said that she sometimes had to remind herself that blogs are a show, that they frame the best parts of life and often avoid the boring, mundane, depressing, negative aspects.
Here is what I said. "I have been writing in one form or another for years. I have kept journals, written poetry and songs, and countless incomplete stories. Now I blog. I don’t know why other people write. I don’t know what motivates others. I am motivated by 2 things, getting my feelings out, specifically my positive and spiritual moments, and being my own best friend. I know that might sound silly. When I read something I wrote, even when I was a teenager, sometimes it is the exact thing I need. I even read my own blog sometimes and think “Wow. That is amazing!” I don’t mean this to sound vain. It is just that when I see myself and the things that have inspired me I am encouraged to keep going. It is really quite remarkable."

I am sharing this because I want to add to it. I have long been humbled that the Lord sometimes uses me to help others. I am even more amazed that He uses me to help myself. I truly believe this is the reason we are encouraged to keep a journal. When we read about the experiences we have had, personally, we are reminded of the Lord's hand in our lives. It is hard to be negative when our blessings are recorded in black and white. It increases our faith and confidence in Him as well. If He blessed us before, He will bless us again.

I recently listened to a broadcast on the Mormon Channel about Relief Society. Sister Beck suggested that sisters record their spiritual moments for future generations. She said we each can add to the history of Relief Society. When I heard this, I thought "Why wait? Why not share that history now?" I love to hear the spiritual experiences of others. They strengthen and encourage me. I can only hope that I do the same for others.


Of course some experiences are not meant to be shared. I have had moments that are only for me or those who were with me. I have considered sharing certain experiences and each time I just know I can not. They are not for the public. I have always liked Mary's example. Luke 2:19 records that "Mary kept all these things, and pondered them in her heart." I imagine she had many experiences that were never meant for anyone but the mother of the Messiah.


No matter how cool or interesting an experience may be, sometimes we are not prepared to receive inspiration. I think those are the times when we are most irritated by the good fortune of others. I must admit that there have been times when I read something I wrote and think "I am SO not her today!" In truth I am mostly upset that I am on the downward sweep of a mood swing. I believe everyone has bad days (or weeks or years). I also believe they are never constant. There are moments of peace in the midst of even the most difficult challenges. That is the real truth we all want to share.

Superpowers 201: Speaking Kid

Apparently I do not speak the same language as the rest of my family. I have ample evidence of this. I first noticed that something wasn't right when my kids started translating for me. I would say "Put that away, please." and one of my other children would turn the person I had just spoken to and say "Mommy wants you to put that away." They do this immediately. Not a few minutes later, not after the child had walked off, and certainly not after being asked by me to carry out this message.


As I started noticing this phenomenon I tried to stop it. I now find myself saying "Why did you do that? Did I ask you to say that? Do you have some kind of authority in this family? Did I not speak clearly the first time?" Each time I am regarded with expressions of shock and confusion, as if they don't understand what I am talking about. Occasionally I will get a response along the lines of "But he wasn't listening." or "I was just trying to help." I find this completely baffling.

Another evidence that I speak another language is that my children often respond to comments or instructions that are not directed at them. Even if I say the name of the child I am addressing every child in the room will launch into immediate protests about how they didn’t' know they were supposed to do such-and-such or they are innocent of the specified crime. I am most shocked when my 11 year old responds to comments addressed to my 18 month old. "I didn't throw my food on the floor!" "Why do you want to change my diaper?" or even "I just had a bath why do you want me to take another one?" Sometimes I think he is he joking but very often he is quite serious. I suspect he believes that since he is the oldest child, everything I say is directed at him, some subconscious claim that I am his mother and the other children are just visiting.

The most upsetting evidence that I do not speak "kid" is the fact that they simply do not listen. Oh sure, they listen when I get their attention or when I am speaking to them casually. But when I start telling them things to do or not do, they seem to glaze over. I have experimented with tone of voice, I have simplified my vocabulary, I have tried different volumes and even body language but to no avail. I will say "didn't I just tell you...." and they will frown and say "You said something but...." shrugs. Sheepish grins. contemplative squinting. So I try again. Very slowly and plainly. "Put your clothes in the drawers." Sometimes this gets action but sometimes I get a confused, straining look, as if they are struggling to understand my words.

This reminds me very much of the experiences I had in Belgium, trying to find the right words in a French /English dictionary to tell the mailman that we didn't know the Schumakers or apologize to the neighbor for scaring his sheep.

And so with a daily multitude of these kinds of moments, I have generally come to accept the fact that I am talking to hear my own voice and that nothing I say matters in the slightest. With this mindset, a kind of low expectations=fewer disappointments philosophy, I have been shocked to learn that my children are turning into decent people. I mean, I never expected they would become criminals or divas but I wasn’t sure what to expect. I had kind of given up the idea that I was molding them into something specific and accepted that the potter’s wheel was turning at break-neck speeds and all I could do was keep the clay from spinning off.

I am not completely surprised. It isn’t that they are bad kids. I am just surprised that some of what I say gets through. I could give lots of examples, like when my 8 year old son helped me fold a load of laundry without being asked or when any one of them comes to me and says “I had a bad dream but I prayed like you told me to and I wasn’t scared anymore.” But I want to share something that happened just recently.

My 8 year old daughter was baptized in January. Since then she has been determined to bear her testimony every Fast and Testimony Meeting. She said “I was baptized, that means I have a testimony and I have to share it.” She is shy and nervous but she valiantly marches up to the stand and says her 2 or 3 sentence testimony. She is getting more confident, which brings me to the real story.

She has been struggling in school, mostly with reading. Her teacher recommended that she attend a summer literacy camp where she got intense reading help for 2 hours a day. It was a pain in the behind. It was from 10-12 every day. I had to drag all the kids back and forth each day. We couldn’t really do anything in the mornings because there wasn’t enough time any way you sliced it. And she didn’t seem to make much progress. I was feeling like it was a real waste of time.

One day, out of the blue, she came home and announced that her teacher needed to come to church with us. Apparently she had brought her daughters to school one day, dressed in tank tops. My daughter said she knew right away that they didn’t go to our church because they were not modest. Then she said that they really needed to come and she wanted to tell her teacher about the church. We discussed it for a few minutes, her enthusiasm bubbling over. I suggested that she take a Book of Mormon to her teacher. She jumped on the idea, wrapping it in pretty wrapping paper and writing her teacher’s name on the tag.

I was so nervous for her. I prayed that it would go well. I was so worried that her little, tender testimony would be crushed.

It wasn’t. It turned out that her teacher had grown up with a close friend who was a member. She had attended many church activities as a youth and spoke very fondly of those experiences.

I told my daughter how proud I was of her. She frowned at me and said “Why? I didn’t do anything big or special. I just gave her a Book of Mormon. That’s a little thing. What’s so great about that?” I explained that many adults don’t even do that. “I don’t know why.” She said “It’s not like it’s hard.”

Well, I was beyond words I was so proud of her! It wasn’t the kind of proud like I had done something great. It was a kind of awe that she was going down the right path. And a little celebrating because that meant I hadn’t completely screwed her up!

So, although the kids still translate for each other and we still have those “Belgian moments” where I don’t seem to be getting through, I guess they are the exceptions. It seems that the language barriers come up during the mundane, everyday talking and not the important stuff. This gives me hope. Even if they are staring off into space or playing with legos while I try and explain why they need to pray or the importance of being kind I guess I will just keep talking!