Mother's Day can be a painful day for those who don't have children. Before I had children of my own, Mother's Day was a reminder of what was expected of me as a Latter-Day Saint woman. It was a day to think about what I hoped I would be one day. It was a also a day to remind me that I was not a mother. Kind of like Valentine's Day for the single crowd, right?
It might be tempting to shun this holiday, to be bitter and hurt. You might see this day as a slap in the face.
Please don't.
Mother's Day should be a day to celebrate the institution of motherhood. The office of Mother, if you will. You don't need to be a mother or even a woman to do that.
When I was growing up our ward always gave the mothers a potted plant. Usually the Primary kids sang and made cards or something. Some mothers in the ward were recognized. The newest mother. The oldest mother. The mother with the most children. Being a child, I always felt impressed by these women. I thought they were women I should look up to and emulate. In many ways they were.
They were women of faith. They were women who had made sacrifices for those they loved. They had cared for those around them. They had taught others valuable skills and gospel truths.
Those traits had little to do with giving birth.
My family also visited my grandmothers on Mother's Day. This reminded me of how they had influenced my life by raising my parents. Of course, they also influenced me directly by teaching me many important lessons about life.
Since I began working consistently on my family history I have a deeper appreciation for those mothers who came before me. I come from a long line of mothers. All the way back to Eve! (even if I can't prove it!) Do their efforts mean nothing? The more I learn about my ancestors the more reverence I feel towards motherhood. I feel so grateful for those mothers who cared for their children generation after generation all the way down to me.
Most importantly, Mother's Day is a celebration of womanhood. Women do so much for society. Women are often teachers, nurses, and counselors. Women are creative, nurturing, and thoughtful. Women have a powerful influence. Women are compassionate and determined. Women are tender and beautiful.
All women are worth celebrating!
Showing posts with label choice. Show all posts
Showing posts with label choice. Show all posts
Sunday, May 12, 2013
Monday, May 6, 2013
Who Exactly Are These So-Called "Experts"?
I have been blogging for about 3 1/2 years now. I get asked questions about parenting and kids and stuff like that and I wanted to 1) record those answers while I am still able to know what I am talking about and 2) make that information available to others.
Let's face it; none of us really know what we are doing. Parenting is a lot of trial and error. We learn some things from our parents and some things from our peers and some things through experience. Then there are the things we learn from "experts".
But just who are these so-called "experts"? Are they parents who have been in the thick of life, waging the daily battles against tantrums and messes? Probably not.
"Experts" are people who study what other parents do; in other words, they have a job. Even if these "studiers" have kids ( some don't!) their kids are probably in day care 40 + hours a week (or possibly have a nanny) so the parents are only with their own kids a few hours a day at most.
It is easy to put your kid to bed at the same time every night if you have to get up and be somewhere the next morning, day in day out, for their entire childhood.
It is easy to feed them healthy food if all you have to do is tell the person you are paying to do it or they will be fired.
It is easy to pay someone to potty train your child for you while you go off to research how other people do it.
I am sure there are lots of really dedicated parents out there who do the best they can with the time they have. I am not dissing them.
What I am gripping about is that so many people rely so heavily on what "experts" have to say.
Why are we not looking to experienced parents for advice? Why are we not asking those in similar circumstances how to solve an issue? We rush to the "experts" for their advice instead. Why? You do realize that they change their mind about stuff ALL the time, right?
When my first child was born, I was the kind of parent I am describing. If the doctor didn't say he could eat it/do it/ wear it/use it I didn't even consider it. I was almost crippled by fear of doing the wrong thing. I didn't appreciate the advice I got from "experienced" mothers. They were outdated and possibly immune to the true needs of my precious baby.
Of course, when my youngest children were born, as little as 6 years later, I was often "corrected" by doctors and nurses who told me that "things have changed since then" and "we no longer recommend that". I was a ball of confusion. I was mortified that I was doing the "wrong" thing for my baby. I was ashamed that I had not stayed current on what was right for my children. And I was angry, very, VERY angry that I was made to feel this way by the very people I was supposed to rely on!
I came to realize that there is no magic bullet to destroy all the possible illnesses, injuries, and issues my child might have. Childhood research is a minefield of contradictory information. Let your child cry- Never let them cry. Vaccinate-Don't vaccinate. Bottle feed-Breastfeed. Keep them busy-Let them play. Drink milk- Avoid dairy. Eat grains-Avoid gluten. Eat vegetables and meat- But they might have diseases.
The real problem is that the "experts" lead us to believe that if we do the wrong thing disasters will ensue.
If our kids watch TV they will become violent idiots who will kill people but won't be able to confess because they will be too stupid to form complete sentences.
If you don't read to them they will never get a job and live with you for the rest of your life.
If you don't let them play sports they will never learn to work with others and grow up to be jerks.
If you don't expose them to art and music they will never have a creative thought and be mindless drones.
If they eat the wrong foods they might become allergic, or get food poisoning, or develop behavior issues, or have learning problems, or get really fat and all the issues that go along with that.
And it will ALL be YOUR fault!
Yes, I have issues with "experts". I admit that a part of me is really irritated that I have shared so much practical information on this public blog, exposing many of my own struggles and imperfections as a parent, and yet when an "expert" says the same thing it gets passed around the Internet like some kind of holy grail. I read these articles and thing"I wrote a post about that a while back." But apparently no one read it. Or they did and thought "Why should I listen to you? You're a nobody. But now that an "expert" has said it I will change my ways and do exactly what they say, (which is what you said months ago and I ignored you)."
There is some good information available, more than ever before. But sifting through it is a lot of work. And only rarely is there a disaster.
I have 2 friends with young adult children. I watched their kids grow up. The mothers have made very different choices. One bottle-fed, one breast-fed. One was strict, one was lenient. They both taught their kids right from wrong. Both fed their children, dressed them, sheltered them, corrected their behavior, taught them things. Loved them.
They have all turned out differently. I can see that sometimes it is because of the personalities of the children. Sometimes it is because of things the parents did or didn't do. Both mothers made choices that helped their kids. Both made choices that hurt their kids. Both did their best. All their kids grew up to be obnoxious, moody teenagers and fairly decent adults. No criminals, no disasters. Although they are all making their own mistakes now. It is part of life.
Why can't experts give advice like that? Love your kids. Help them. Teach them about the things you value. Be there for them when they make their own mistakes. And keep loving them.
Let's face it; none of us really know what we are doing. Parenting is a lot of trial and error. We learn some things from our parents and some things from our peers and some things through experience. Then there are the things we learn from "experts".
But just who are these so-called "experts"? Are they parents who have been in the thick of life, waging the daily battles against tantrums and messes? Probably not.
"Experts" are people who study what other parents do; in other words, they have a job. Even if these "studiers" have kids ( some don't!) their kids are probably in day care 40 + hours a week (or possibly have a nanny) so the parents are only with their own kids a few hours a day at most.
It is easy to put your kid to bed at the same time every night if you have to get up and be somewhere the next morning, day in day out, for their entire childhood.
It is easy to feed them healthy food if all you have to do is tell the person you are paying to do it or they will be fired.
It is easy to pay someone to potty train your child for you while you go off to research how other people do it.
I am sure there are lots of really dedicated parents out there who do the best they can with the time they have. I am not dissing them.
What I am gripping about is that so many people rely so heavily on what "experts" have to say.
Why are we not looking to experienced parents for advice? Why are we not asking those in similar circumstances how to solve an issue? We rush to the "experts" for their advice instead. Why? You do realize that they change their mind about stuff ALL the time, right?
When my first child was born, I was the kind of parent I am describing. If the doctor didn't say he could eat it/do it/ wear it/use it I didn't even consider it. I was almost crippled by fear of doing the wrong thing. I didn't appreciate the advice I got from "experienced" mothers. They were outdated and possibly immune to the true needs of my precious baby.
Of course, when my youngest children were born, as little as 6 years later, I was often "corrected" by doctors and nurses who told me that "things have changed since then" and "we no longer recommend that". I was a ball of confusion. I was mortified that I was doing the "wrong" thing for my baby. I was ashamed that I had not stayed current on what was right for my children. And I was angry, very, VERY angry that I was made to feel this way by the very people I was supposed to rely on!
I came to realize that there is no magic bullet to destroy all the possible illnesses, injuries, and issues my child might have. Childhood research is a minefield of contradictory information. Let your child cry- Never let them cry. Vaccinate-Don't vaccinate. Bottle feed-Breastfeed. Keep them busy-Let them play. Drink milk- Avoid dairy. Eat grains-Avoid gluten. Eat vegetables and meat- But they might have diseases.
The real problem is that the "experts" lead us to believe that if we do the wrong thing disasters will ensue.
If our kids watch TV they will become violent idiots who will kill people but won't be able to confess because they will be too stupid to form complete sentences.
If you don't read to them they will never get a job and live with you for the rest of your life.
If you don't let them play sports they will never learn to work with others and grow up to be jerks.
If you don't expose them to art and music they will never have a creative thought and be mindless drones.
If they eat the wrong foods they might become allergic, or get food poisoning, or develop behavior issues, or have learning problems, or get really fat and all the issues that go along with that.
And it will ALL be YOUR fault!
Yes, I have issues with "experts". I admit that a part of me is really irritated that I have shared so much practical information on this public blog, exposing many of my own struggles and imperfections as a parent, and yet when an "expert" says the same thing it gets passed around the Internet like some kind of holy grail. I read these articles and thing"I wrote a post about that a while back." But apparently no one read it. Or they did and thought "Why should I listen to you? You're a nobody. But now that an "expert" has said it I will change my ways and do exactly what they say, (which is what you said months ago and I ignored you)."
There is some good information available, more than ever before. But sifting through it is a lot of work. And only rarely is there a disaster.
I have 2 friends with young adult children. I watched their kids grow up. The mothers have made very different choices. One bottle-fed, one breast-fed. One was strict, one was lenient. They both taught their kids right from wrong. Both fed their children, dressed them, sheltered them, corrected their behavior, taught them things. Loved them.
They have all turned out differently. I can see that sometimes it is because of the personalities of the children. Sometimes it is because of things the parents did or didn't do. Both mothers made choices that helped their kids. Both made choices that hurt their kids. Both did their best. All their kids grew up to be obnoxious, moody teenagers and fairly decent adults. No criminals, no disasters. Although they are all making their own mistakes now. It is part of life.
Why can't experts give advice like that? Love your kids. Help them. Teach them about the things you value. Be there for them when they make their own mistakes. And keep loving them.
Monday, April 22, 2013
Music Callings In The Church: Playing The Piano
I didn't take piano lessons consistently. Each time I restarted lessons I had to play catch-up for a while. I also had to try to break bad habits I had adopted in the intervals. And I happen to be a perfectionist so I wanted to play everything perfectly, each note and rhythm exactly as it is written.
I never mastered any of this. I love playing but my varied experiences have left me with limited abilities. For many years I have compared myself to accomplished professionals and lamented my many flaws. For example, my teachers often chastised me for playing by ear or memorizing instead of reading the music. I have long accepted this as a weakness.
During the past couple of years I have realized that the opposite is true. I am not saying that I don't have room for improvement. What I have realized is that I need to use my abilities to my advantage and compensate for my limitations.
Here are a few tips and tricks that I have learned from experience.
1. Play through a hymn first. Sometimes I surprise myself. Something a hymn I thought was unfamiliar or difficult turns out to be quite simple. Once I determine the difficulty and my ability to play the hymn as written, I decide if I can make it work.
2. Like most novices, I can play better with my right hand. I could play almost any hymn with just that hand but it doesn't sound complete. I prefer not to do this. One way to alter a difficult hymn is to just play whole-note chords with the left hand. "Love At Home" (Hymns, 294) is an excellent hymn for this trick. In the first measure, I would play the first notes as a whole note, the second measure I would play the first two chords as a half-note and the other half note as written, and so on.
3. Sometimes I simply can't reach all the notes, especially in the bass clef
(the bottom, left-hand notes). I have found that playing the very bottom notes, along with the upper, right hand notes, creates a fuller sound but is somewhat easier to play. It takes practice to figure out which notes to play and which to leave out. Some examples of hymns that work well with this trick are "Rejoice, the Lord Is King" (Hymns, 66) and "As Sisters In Zion" (Hymns, 309)
4. Sometimes the hymn is written in a key that is hard for me. Now you can go to LDS.org and transpose the hymns into a different key with the click of a button! Just print it and play it. Most people won't notice and those who do should keep their mouths shut! What matters is that it helps you fulfill your calling and invite the Spirit into the meeting. *Note: be mindful of the vocal range of those singing. If it is too high or too low it will be uncomfortable to the singers and detract from the music.
Example: "How Firm A Foundation", (Hymns, 85) is written in the key of A flat Major (4 flats). By clicking the down arrow once, it is in G major, with just one sharp. But if you continue adjusting up or down you not only get lots of sharps or flats but the song will be in an unrealistic vocal range.
I never mastered any of this. I love playing but my varied experiences have left me with limited abilities. For many years I have compared myself to accomplished professionals and lamented my many flaws. For example, my teachers often chastised me for playing by ear or memorizing instead of reading the music. I have long accepted this as a weakness.
During the past couple of years I have realized that the opposite is true. I am not saying that I don't have room for improvement. What I have realized is that I need to use my abilities to my advantage and compensate for my limitations.
Here are a few tips and tricks that I have learned from experience.
1. Play through a hymn first. Sometimes I surprise myself. Something a hymn I thought was unfamiliar or difficult turns out to be quite simple. Once I determine the difficulty and my ability to play the hymn as written, I decide if I can make it work.
2. Like most novices, I can play better with my right hand. I could play almost any hymn with just that hand but it doesn't sound complete. I prefer not to do this. One way to alter a difficult hymn is to just play whole-note chords with the left hand. "Love At Home" (Hymns, 294) is an excellent hymn for this trick. In the first measure, I would play the first notes as a whole note, the second measure I would play the first two chords as a half-note and the other half note as written, and so on.
3. Sometimes I simply can't reach all the notes, especially in the bass clef
(the bottom, left-hand notes). I have found that playing the very bottom notes, along with the upper, right hand notes, creates a fuller sound but is somewhat easier to play. It takes practice to figure out which notes to play and which to leave out. Some examples of hymns that work well with this trick are "Rejoice, the Lord Is King" (Hymns, 66) and "As Sisters In Zion" (Hymns, 309)
4. Sometimes the hymn is written in a key that is hard for me. Now you can go to LDS.org and transpose the hymns into a different key with the click of a button! Just print it and play it. Most people won't notice and those who do should keep their mouths shut! What matters is that it helps you fulfill your calling and invite the Spirit into the meeting. *Note: be mindful of the vocal range of those singing. If it is too high or too low it will be uncomfortable to the singers and detract from the music.
Example: "How Firm A Foundation", (Hymns, 85) is written in the key of A flat Major (4 flats). By clicking the down arrow once, it is in G major, with just one sharp. But if you continue adjusting up or down you not only get lots of sharps or flats but the song will be in an unrealistic vocal range.
If you have been called and set apart as a pianist it is up to you to find a way to fulfill that calling. An don't forget, music is a creative art form. So be creative!
Monday, April 15, 2013
Superpowers 101: Finding Time To Read
I love books. I honestly have kind of a hoarding/addiction type attachment for books, especially really beautiful children's picture books. I can NOT pass a Jan Brett book without buying it! (That is why I never go to books stores!)
My quirky vices aside, reading is very powerful to me. I love to finish a book and feel as if I have said goodbye to dear friends. I love that urge I feel to tell my husband about the exciting twist I just read when he asks if anything interesting happened that day. I love the combination of words to form patterns and rhythms that can lull me to sleep at night or create a kind of literary symphony.
Since early childhood I have also loved writing. It is like a fantastic word puzzle that only a select few can solve!
Every author who is asked about the craft gives the same advice to potential writers: READ!
So that is what I started doing.
Not just reading for fun (although I do enjoy it!) but reading to educate myself. For example, if I was reading Harry Potter I might look at the way J.K. Rowling uses point of view to keep the reader in the dark about certain mysteries. If I am reading a book that I don't like, I ask why. Is it the wording? The Characters? The story itself? All this helps me learn the good and bad of writing.
Between simple pleasure and learning a useful skill, I feel compelled to read. Well, now I do. For many years I barely read anything. For one thing, I didn't know what to read. I needed to find a genre that appealed to me. Once I did, I had to make reading a priority.
The first step was reading to my children. I started reading to them at nap time until they fell asleep. I sometimes read kids books but I usually read whatever I wanted to read. The kids would be asleep in a matter of minutes. Sometimes I would keep reading to myself for a little while. Reading aloud had many unexpected benefits for me.
As I began to read more, I started finding other ways to steal a few minutes of reading.
There are unused minutes in every day. Once you get into a book, one that is hard to put down, you will discover time you never knew you had!
My quirky vices aside, reading is very powerful to me. I love to finish a book and feel as if I have said goodbye to dear friends. I love that urge I feel to tell my husband about the exciting twist I just read when he asks if anything interesting happened that day. I love the combination of words to form patterns and rhythms that can lull me to sleep at night or create a kind of literary symphony.
Since early childhood I have also loved writing. It is like a fantastic word puzzle that only a select few can solve!
Every author who is asked about the craft gives the same advice to potential writers: READ!
So that is what I started doing.
Not just reading for fun (although I do enjoy it!) but reading to educate myself. For example, if I was reading Harry Potter I might look at the way J.K. Rowling uses point of view to keep the reader in the dark about certain mysteries. If I am reading a book that I don't like, I ask why. Is it the wording? The Characters? The story itself? All this helps me learn the good and bad of writing.
Between simple pleasure and learning a useful skill, I feel compelled to read. Well, now I do. For many years I barely read anything. For one thing, I didn't know what to read. I needed to find a genre that appealed to me. Once I did, I had to make reading a priority.
The first step was reading to my children. I started reading to them at nap time until they fell asleep. I sometimes read kids books but I usually read whatever I wanted to read. The kids would be asleep in a matter of minutes. Sometimes I would keep reading to myself for a little while. Reading aloud had many unexpected benefits for me.
As I began to read more, I started finding other ways to steal a few minutes of reading.
- I read while I waited for the water to boil or the brownies to bake at dinner time.
- I take the book to the bathroom (honestly the only moments of semi-privacy I get some days!).
- I read for a few minutes at night before going to sleep.
- I wake the kids in the mornings then read while they eat and get dressed for the day.
- I used to read while I waited for the bus in the afternoons (when I had to drive to the bus stop).
- I take a book with me to all appointments.
- I bring a book with me to youth activities at church. (I wait while the kids participate)
- I like listening to Audio books while I clean, especially a really indepth job. It helps the work go faster!
There are unused minutes in every day. Once you get into a book, one that is hard to put down, you will discover time you never knew you had!
Sunday, October 28, 2012
Lessons From The Move, Part 3.1
I recently read a post called Mom Stays In The Picture by Allison Tate. It points out how often moms avoid pictures for, oh, so many reasons and explains how important it is that we mothers document our own efforts.
It really hit home for me. We have VERY few pictures of me. The kids have asked what I looked like when I was pregnant with them and I have nothing to show. We have a few hideous pictures from hospitals and other post-natal pics. My older kids used to try taking pictures of me and they are...very good for a 4 or 5-year-old.
My husband is not big on pictures but has tried from time to time. He invariably tries for candid...which means I have my mouth opened or my eyes closed or am in some other compromised position.
*Sigh.*
But this article really rang true for me. I had just embarked on a very touching journey into my photographic family history. You know what? I didn't look at a single picture and think "Look at her disgusting fatness!" Or "Oh my gosh, how many wrinkles does she have!"
Each one was a glimpse into the lives of real people who directly impacted my life by someting as unexciting as raising a child. I was fascinated to see what they looked like, to see the houses in the back ground, the clothes they were wearing.
I felt so much gratitude for those women ( and the men, too!) who had made thousands of tiny choices to work, live, love, teach, guide, care for and otherwise be involved in the lives of their children day after day, year after year.
It really hit home for me. We have VERY few pictures of me. The kids have asked what I looked like when I was pregnant with them and I have nothing to show. We have a few hideous pictures from hospitals and other post-natal pics. My older kids used to try taking pictures of me and they are...very good for a 4 or 5-year-old.
My husband is not big on pictures but has tried from time to time. He invariably tries for candid...which means I have my mouth opened or my eyes closed or am in some other compromised position.
*Sigh.*
But this article really rang true for me. I had just embarked on a very touching journey into my photographic family history. You know what? I didn't look at a single picture and think "Look at her disgusting fatness!" Or "Oh my gosh, how many wrinkles does she have!"
Each one was a glimpse into the lives of real people who directly impacted my life by someting as unexciting as raising a child. I was fascinated to see what they looked like, to see the houses in the back ground, the clothes they were wearing.
I felt so much gratitude for those women ( and the men, too!) who had made thousands of tiny choices to work, live, love, teach, guide, care for and otherwise be involved in the lives of their children day after day, year after year.
Friday, April 13, 2012
Superpowers 101: Reading Books
I love reading. I reached an age in my teen years where I thought there was nothing to read but classics. I didn't read a book for fun until I was in my late 20's. That is when I read Harry Potter. I realized that I love fantasy. I love YA and children's fiction. (I also like biographies but that is beside the point.)
I made frequent visits to the small libraries at our Belgian duty station. The librarian at one library knew me and my tastes. One day she handed me a book. "This just came in. Why don't you read it and tell me if it's any good."
I had a few other books that I was eager to read so that book sat around until it was almost due. I finally started it. And quickly finished it! I LOVED it! It was Princess Academy by Shannon Hale. I read other books by this author and enjoyed them also. A few months after reading Princess Academy, it was awarded a Newbery Honor, a runner-up to the Newbery Medal for "most distinguished contribution to American literature for children." I was thrilled. I felt like one of my friends had been recognized!
Books have that kind of effect on people sometimes. We get so attached to the story, the characters, even the authors at times. Why? What is it about a book that makes it so dear to us?
Not long after this experience I read another book that had been catching my eye on the library shelf. You might have heard of it. It was called Twilight.
It was not at all what I expected. I tore through this series as well. I dragged my kids to the PX the morning Breaking Dawn was released so I could find out what happened. I knew I was a bit obsessed. I thought of it as an indulgence. We were still living overseas and Twilight mania hadn't really hit there...yet.
I was shocked and even disturbed by the obsession I found when I arrived back in the USA. There was a lot of backlash, too. People were passionately in love or passionately in hate! It was crazy!
I read a few articles that were less favorable. I had to admit they made valid arguments. In fact, they were similar to my own concerns as I was reading. Like the maturity of the subject matter. Or the fine line the characters walk (and often cross) between what is acceptable and what isn't. I read those books as a mother, thinking about the standards I wanted for my own children.
The problem with reading those articles is that they swayed me to their way of thinking. I no longer saw the books with the pros and cons I had originally seen. I no longer felt the same way about the story or its message. This has been a disappointment. My reading experience was ruined. The deeper question is, were they right?
I recently read another popular series, The Hunger Games. I had seen many articles and blog posts about this series as well. I intentionally avoided the opinions of others. I wanted to read this series and make my own decision. I wanted to decide for myself whether it was worth reading or not. I liked these books also. I found much that was insightful and thought-provoking. Then I read some of those "anti-Hunger Games" blog posts.
I found the protests weak and petty. I suddenly saw those critics as shallow and mean. I was shocked that they focused on small details to support their "shun everything" mind-set. I was annoyed with myself for ever thinking they were people I might look to for insight or wisdom.
This time their toxic words did not change me. They did not influence my feelings about the story. If anything I felt encouraged that I could find value and worth. I found new meaning in the 13th article of faith "If there is anything virtuous, lovely, or of good report, or praiseworthy we seek after these things." Could it mean that we seek the praiseworthy where others see trash? Is it the ability to skim off the bad and retain that which has value?
How does that translate to people? Do we see value in everyone? Or do we focus on the undesirable and possibly obvious flaws and weaknesses?
The point of all this is that we each have the power within us to discern right and wrong, good from evil. We each have the ability to think, to reason, to compare. Ultimately, we choose how to view the world around us. Are we judging books (and people) by their covers? By their blurbs? By the reviews of critics? OR do we take the time to open the book, read it for our selves and make a judgement based on our personal experience?
I made frequent visits to the small libraries at our Belgian duty station. The librarian at one library knew me and my tastes. One day she handed me a book. "This just came in. Why don't you read it and tell me if it's any good."
I had a few other books that I was eager to read so that book sat around until it was almost due. I finally started it. And quickly finished it! I LOVED it! It was Princess Academy by Shannon Hale. I read other books by this author and enjoyed them also. A few months after reading Princess Academy, it was awarded a Newbery Honor, a runner-up to the Newbery Medal for "most distinguished contribution to American literature for children." I was thrilled. I felt like one of my friends had been recognized!
Books have that kind of effect on people sometimes. We get so attached to the story, the characters, even the authors at times. Why? What is it about a book that makes it so dear to us?
Not long after this experience I read another book that had been catching my eye on the library shelf. You might have heard of it. It was called Twilight.
It was not at all what I expected. I tore through this series as well. I dragged my kids to the PX the morning Breaking Dawn was released so I could find out what happened. I knew I was a bit obsessed. I thought of it as an indulgence. We were still living overseas and Twilight mania hadn't really hit there...yet.
I was shocked and even disturbed by the obsession I found when I arrived back in the USA. There was a lot of backlash, too. People were passionately in love or passionately in hate! It was crazy!
I read a few articles that were less favorable. I had to admit they made valid arguments. In fact, they were similar to my own concerns as I was reading. Like the maturity of the subject matter. Or the fine line the characters walk (and often cross) between what is acceptable and what isn't. I read those books as a mother, thinking about the standards I wanted for my own children.
The problem with reading those articles is that they swayed me to their way of thinking. I no longer saw the books with the pros and cons I had originally seen. I no longer felt the same way about the story or its message. This has been a disappointment. My reading experience was ruined. The deeper question is, were they right?
I recently read another popular series, The Hunger Games. I had seen many articles and blog posts about this series as well. I intentionally avoided the opinions of others. I wanted to read this series and make my own decision. I wanted to decide for myself whether it was worth reading or not. I liked these books also. I found much that was insightful and thought-provoking. Then I read some of those "anti-Hunger Games" blog posts.
I found the protests weak and petty. I suddenly saw those critics as shallow and mean. I was shocked that they focused on small details to support their "shun everything" mind-set. I was annoyed with myself for ever thinking they were people I might look to for insight or wisdom.
This time their toxic words did not change me. They did not influence my feelings about the story. If anything I felt encouraged that I could find value and worth. I found new meaning in the 13th article of faith "If there is anything virtuous, lovely, or of good report, or praiseworthy we seek after these things." Could it mean that we seek the praiseworthy where others see trash? Is it the ability to skim off the bad and retain that which has value?
How does that translate to people? Do we see value in everyone? Or do we focus on the undesirable and possibly obvious flaws and weaknesses?
The point of all this is that we each have the power within us to discern right and wrong, good from evil. We each have the ability to think, to reason, to compare. Ultimately, we choose how to view the world around us. Are we judging books (and people) by their covers? By their blurbs? By the reviews of critics? OR do we take the time to open the book, read it for our selves and make a judgement based on our personal experience?
Sunday, December 18, 2011
Superpowers 101: Making Choices
The past few weeks have been...um...hellish.
In the past month the following things have broken in some way:
1. My sewing machine
2. Big Screen TV
3. Transmission in our Suburban
4. Several drinking glasses
5. Dishwasher
6. Washing Machine
7. Dryer
8. Cover on the back of the toilet
9. Cookies
The following illnesses have inflicted some members of the household:
1. Flu
2. Conjunctivitis
3. Strep
4. Flu, again
5. Common Cold
6. Various cuts, scrapes and bruises
My Kindergarten has been kicked off the bus twice for hitting his seat partner.
My daughter is being bullied by her classmates
My twins have been officially diagnosed with ADHD
I have been hoarding serious amounts of stress in my neck!
Not to mention rain, shopping, Christmas stuff, sleepless nights, dirty dishes, clean clothes being put back in the dirty laundry because someone touched them, mountains of laundry to be washed or folded (either way it is a mountain!)
I have been asking myself why this is happening. WHY?! I have pleaded with heaven to explain to me the reasons for my torture! What did I do to deserve this?! Show me my mistakes and I promise, I PROMISE, to NEVER EVER do those things again!!! (Imagine a sobbing emoticon here)
During this time I have also been working on the program for Christmas Day. I have spent a lot of time thinking about Mary and Joseph. What did they go through? They had been visited by angels! Then Joseph had to go off to get taxed in Bethlehem.
Did they pray about this trip? Is that why Mary went along instead of having her special baby at home with her family? Were there other factors?
Let's say they did get assurance that she should go with him. They get to Bethlehem and can't find a place to stay. Then "Oh great, I'm in labor. Now what?" Did they wonder if they had made a mistake along the way? Did they ask why?
How did they feel when the Messiah was born in an animal stall? Did it break their hearts to place him in the manger because there was no where else to lay him? Did they have any self doubt?
All these things happened for a reason. They were part of God's plan, not a punishment. Did Mary and Joseph know this?
Thinking of them helped me put my own trials into perspective. As I thought of this lesson I asked once again "Did I bring this misery on myself? Did I make some choice that led me to this?" I was humbled by the realization that the answer is yes.
I did make a decision that brought me sorrow and pain and suffering. But it also brought peace and joy and love. I chose to follow Jesus Christ. I chose Heavenly Father's great plan of happiness, the plan that included mortality. I chose this mortal life of trials and temptations, suffering and sorrow. Was it a hard choice? Did I really know what I was getting into? How could I?
Now that I am here, experiencing all that life has to offer, both bitter and sweet, do I choose it still? More importantly, do I still choose Him?
Yes. YES!!! I do! Choosing Christ means choosing the path that will make me strongest. It means choosing the path that will lead me home. It means choosing the hard times. Knowing I chose Him once means I can do it again. I can face my challenges secure in the hope that I am making the right choices. It also gives me new perspective. I see these challenges a little differently. I see that I can choose how I deal with them. I also see that Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ will help me through them.
I also see Christmas differently. I see it not only as a celebration of the birth of our Savior but as a fulfillment of the plan. I see it as the begining of hope for all of us. In that precious moment our chance for eternal life was born.
In the past month the following things have broken in some way:
1. My sewing machine
2. Big Screen TV
3. Transmission in our Suburban
4. Several drinking glasses
5. Dishwasher
6. Washing Machine
7. Dryer
8. Cover on the back of the toilet
9. Cookies
The following illnesses have inflicted some members of the household:
1. Flu
2. Conjunctivitis
3. Strep
4. Flu, again
5. Common Cold
6. Various cuts, scrapes and bruises
My Kindergarten has been kicked off the bus twice for hitting his seat partner.
My daughter is being bullied by her classmates
My twins have been officially diagnosed with ADHD
I have been hoarding serious amounts of stress in my neck!
Not to mention rain, shopping, Christmas stuff, sleepless nights, dirty dishes, clean clothes being put back in the dirty laundry because someone touched them, mountains of laundry to be washed or folded (either way it is a mountain!)
I have been asking myself why this is happening. WHY?! I have pleaded with heaven to explain to me the reasons for my torture! What did I do to deserve this?! Show me my mistakes and I promise, I PROMISE, to NEVER EVER do those things again!!! (Imagine a sobbing emoticon here)
During this time I have also been working on the program for Christmas Day. I have spent a lot of time thinking about Mary and Joseph. What did they go through? They had been visited by angels! Then Joseph had to go off to get taxed in Bethlehem.
Did they pray about this trip? Is that why Mary went along instead of having her special baby at home with her family? Were there other factors?
Let's say they did get assurance that she should go with him. They get to Bethlehem and can't find a place to stay. Then "Oh great, I'm in labor. Now what?" Did they wonder if they had made a mistake along the way? Did they ask why?
How did they feel when the Messiah was born in an animal stall? Did it break their hearts to place him in the manger because there was no where else to lay him? Did they have any self doubt?
All these things happened for a reason. They were part of God's plan, not a punishment. Did Mary and Joseph know this?
Thinking of them helped me put my own trials into perspective. As I thought of this lesson I asked once again "Did I bring this misery on myself? Did I make some choice that led me to this?" I was humbled by the realization that the answer is yes.
I did make a decision that brought me sorrow and pain and suffering. But it also brought peace and joy and love. I chose to follow Jesus Christ. I chose Heavenly Father's great plan of happiness, the plan that included mortality. I chose this mortal life of trials and temptations, suffering and sorrow. Was it a hard choice? Did I really know what I was getting into? How could I?
Now that I am here, experiencing all that life has to offer, both bitter and sweet, do I choose it still? More importantly, do I still choose Him?
Yes. YES!!! I do! Choosing Christ means choosing the path that will make me strongest. It means choosing the path that will lead me home. It means choosing the hard times. Knowing I chose Him once means I can do it again. I can face my challenges secure in the hope that I am making the right choices. It also gives me new perspective. I see these challenges a little differently. I see that I can choose how I deal with them. I also see that Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ will help me through them.
I also see Christmas differently. I see it not only as a celebration of the birth of our Savior but as a fulfillment of the plan. I see it as the begining of hope for all of us. In that precious moment our chance for eternal life was born.
"Joy to the world! The Lord is come!"
Wednesday, November 30, 2011
Ignorance Is NOT Bliss...Or Is It?
Deployments are hard. They are stressful and put random strains on you that you don't expect. There is also a Murphy's Law that if something can go wrong it will happen during a deployment.
Now, I don't really put much stock in such superstitions. I think stuff will happen no matter what. It is just more upsetting when you are shouldering the burdens alone.
We are now about 2 months into this relatively short deployment. And it is holiday season. The kids and I wanted a break. We discussed it and decided to spend Thanksgiving with my family in North Carolina. My husband was not thrilled about this idea. We discussed it. A lot. Sometimes after we talked I had such a feeling of foreboding that I didn't even want to leave the house! The decision was still unmade the morning we planned to leave. I mean, we had packed and stopped the mail and newspaper and done everything as if we were going but I wasn't going anywhere until I was sure of what to do and I just wasn't.
I had prayed about it a few times and was still coming up blank. I even wondered if I was being like Joseph Smith and the 116 lost pages, asking over and over when the answer was no. But I hadn't really gotten a no either.
So, that morning, I gathered the kids together and discussed the situation. I explained that there was going to be some possible bad weather. I explained that one of them had been sick just the day before and the others might get sick on the trip if it was going around like it does in big families. I told them we could go for Christmas instead. We all wanted to go now. We all wanted to spend Christmas in our own home. So we prayed again.
I remember at some point that morning pleading for assurance that either decision was best. I was so torn and I really needed an answer either way. I silently asked if we would be safe. Suddenly I had the assurance I was seeking. Yes, we would be safe.
That was good enough for me. We loaded up the care and headed out. It rained for the first half of the trip. Normally I hate driving in rain. I hate being a passenger in heavy rain! But this time I was fine. I was cheerful. I drove right through the storm without feeling stressed out at all. We got beyond the storm and headed on to my parents house.
We enjoyed a wonderful Thanksgiving with cousins and grandparents, aunts and uncles. I got to hold one of the newest members of the family. All the kids played really well the whole time. I talked a lot with my dad and my brother who had flown in from Utah. My grandmother had the great-granddaughters over for a sleepover, just like when I was a kid and spent the night with my cousins there. And on the other side of the family all 20 of the great-grandchildren were together for the first time and were able to take a picture together with their great-grandmother. My oldest son played football with his second cousins and had a great time. We were treated to a mini concert by my cousin's daughter on her tiny cello and her dad let all the little kids try it out (My kids LOVED it!!!) I spent some time with my mom and sister-in-law shopping on Black Friday. And I came home with lots of Christmas presents to go under our tree!
I had planned to drive home on Monday. The extended forecast had shown rain on Monday and Tuesday so I considered leaving Sunday. When my youngest woke up Saturday with an eye infection I considered it again. Honestly, I wasn’t quite ready to go back to real life. There was now a slow-moving winter storm coming right across our path home. If I waited it out we wouldn't leave until Wednesday or Thursday. I decided to go on Monday as planned. I felt uncertain about what to do but I didn't know why. I did think of asking my dad to check out the Suburban for me but I felt kind of silly. We had done a lot of work to it and there was nothing to suggest that anything was wrong. Well, I had to add a gallon of coolant on the way there so I had been keeping an eye on that. I even checked it before I left and bought 2 gallons to keep with me just in case but it was fine.
The first part of the trip was great we had pretty good weather and made good time to Knoxville, TN. That is about half way for us. We stopped for lunch at McDonalds and I let the kids play for about an hour. We filled up the tank and started back on I-40. At which point I couldn't go above 50mph and the RPM's shot up to 5!!! I didn’t know what was wrong so I pulled over and checked for a flat tired or parking brake but everything looked okay. I went on to the next exit and got off. We drove around for a few minutes looking for a place to park so I could use the GPS to find a mechanic. I saw a lube shop and stopped there. The man was VERY nice and said they could take a look and either fix it or tell us where to take it.
First, they found a bad leak in the transmission line. Apparently it had been cut and sliced with rubber hose which was not good enough. They replaced it with a metal pipe and assured me that it would last for a while. But after adding 5 quarts of fluid it still wouldn't shift into third gear. They said the upper gears were bad and I should put it in2nd gear to drive. "Don't go above 45 and you should be fine." They suggested the interstate because it would be the straightest, shortest route and limit more wear on the gears.
We had 225 miles to go. It was raining pretty hard. 45 isn't bad in those conditions. We drove about 2 hours before it was dark and clear... and 70 mph. We were stopped by a state trooper. He wasn't very helpful but said that if I got off at the next exit I could take a highway that ran parallel to the interstate “for a while". We crawled along to the exit and got something to eat. Well, the kids ate. I was too upset to eat. I bought a map (since GPS can be really stupid!) and took that highway to the next town, about 20 miles. The clerk that sold me the map said there was nothing after that. (He turned out to be right!)
We got a hotel in Cookesville. I didn't want to try the unfamiliar roads at night, in bad weather with a flood watch out. I couldn't risk being stuck in the middle of nowhere with 7 kids. I didn't sleep well. But we got a free breakfast and I was able to email my husband. (Did I mention he's deployed?) Until this point I had considered getting it fixed, even if we had to stay a few days. That didn't quite seem like the best idea (think of keeping 7 kids entertained without a car... and did I mention the winter storm? No exactly walking weather!) I did a quick search for "rebuild transmission cost" and saw that the top few results were around 2000-2500.
Okay, never mind. I guess we will keep going. I prayed a lot that morning. I felt like we should stop by the dealership that the GPS had shown. I talked to the guy about cost, time, and how to get home in 2nd gear. He basically confirmed everything I already knew but at least that was reassuring. He and another guy said the highway I had taken to get there would go all the way to Nashville and I should have no trouble getting home if I took it slow. I also asked about a 9 passenger vehicle, just in case. The guy made some suggestions but didn't have one. I decided to keep going. Before I even got out of town my husband called. He made more suggestion, mainly to go slow (about 35) and add some Transmedic to protect what was left of the transmission. I went right back to the place across from the dealer and the guys there put some stuff in it for me.
We drove down this quiet, scenic country road for hours. I tried to stay around 30 mph. I did NOT want to ruin that gear! We made slow and steady progress. We stopped for lunch at another McDonalds and the kids played for a while. I bought more maps and called a few people from our ward to make sure I was looking at the right roads. By then I was sure of what I was doing and where I was going. My only anxiety was whether the transmission would last until we got home.
Well, it did. We got home after driving for about 7 hours at 30 miles per hour. And the kids were ready to kill each other! (Did I mention I didn't bring a DVD player and I don't have a smart phone? We were really low-tech on this trip!)
Here are some things I learned from this:
I learned that the tender mercies of the Lord are indeed a "multitude". We were able to find good people to help us along the way. We were able to feed ourselves. We were able to travel through a very beautiful area and enjoy it because we weren't racing through it. We had some good talks and prayed together and sang Christmas songs and Primary songs. There was no quick fix. We all had to find better ways to do things. We had to put our personal comforts aside to accommodate the needs of others. We had to really look at each other and acknowledge each other. Let me tell you, it was HARD!!! I have felt for a long time that we are too selfish. Now I see that we really do need to work on that.
At one point I decided to tell some stories. The first one I picked was "The Christmas Oranges". I sobbed through the whole thing! I had been feeling really guilty about this car issue. I don't like to make mistakes. And I am not very forgiving of myself. I imagined that I was little girl, crying into my pillow thinking "I don't deserve an orange anyway!!" And yet there are always people who are very willing to make sacrifices to make it better. Especially the Savior.
And that isn't all! When I got home I had an email that told a similar story of overlooking the flaws of others. I had another with a video clip by Elder Russell M. Nelson about fear and faith. AND a friend of ours was planning to come till the garden while we were gone. I came home to trimmed bushed, racked flower beds, cut grass including the trimming, and beautifully tilled garden! It looked so great even the kids noticed!
I'm pretty sure this isn't the end of this lesson. I still feel really uncertain about the immediate future. But I have a sure hope that it will all work out.
On our way home we saw a rainbow across the road. As we drove the rainbow moved with us. Here are the pictures taken by my 10 year old daughter. You can see a double rainbow in some of the pictures. And, yes, it was raining at the time! (Oh, yeah, that is just a big stick smudge in the middle that I can't get off. Oh, well!)
Now, I don't really put much stock in such superstitions. I think stuff will happen no matter what. It is just more upsetting when you are shouldering the burdens alone.
We are now about 2 months into this relatively short deployment. And it is holiday season. The kids and I wanted a break. We discussed it and decided to spend Thanksgiving with my family in North Carolina. My husband was not thrilled about this idea. We discussed it. A lot. Sometimes after we talked I had such a feeling of foreboding that I didn't even want to leave the house! The decision was still unmade the morning we planned to leave. I mean, we had packed and stopped the mail and newspaper and done everything as if we were going but I wasn't going anywhere until I was sure of what to do and I just wasn't.
I had prayed about it a few times and was still coming up blank. I even wondered if I was being like Joseph Smith and the 116 lost pages, asking over and over when the answer was no. But I hadn't really gotten a no either.
So, that morning, I gathered the kids together and discussed the situation. I explained that there was going to be some possible bad weather. I explained that one of them had been sick just the day before and the others might get sick on the trip if it was going around like it does in big families. I told them we could go for Christmas instead. We all wanted to go now. We all wanted to spend Christmas in our own home. So we prayed again.
I remember at some point that morning pleading for assurance that either decision was best. I was so torn and I really needed an answer either way. I silently asked if we would be safe. Suddenly I had the assurance I was seeking. Yes, we would be safe.
That was good enough for me. We loaded up the care and headed out. It rained for the first half of the trip. Normally I hate driving in rain. I hate being a passenger in heavy rain! But this time I was fine. I was cheerful. I drove right through the storm without feeling stressed out at all. We got beyond the storm and headed on to my parents house.
We enjoyed a wonderful Thanksgiving with cousins and grandparents, aunts and uncles. I got to hold one of the newest members of the family. All the kids played really well the whole time. I talked a lot with my dad and my brother who had flown in from Utah. My grandmother had the great-granddaughters over for a sleepover, just like when I was a kid and spent the night with my cousins there. And on the other side of the family all 20 of the great-grandchildren were together for the first time and were able to take a picture together with their great-grandmother. My oldest son played football with his second cousins and had a great time. We were treated to a mini concert by my cousin's daughter on her tiny cello and her dad let all the little kids try it out (My kids LOVED it!!!) I spent some time with my mom and sister-in-law shopping on Black Friday. And I came home with lots of Christmas presents to go under our tree!
I had planned to drive home on Monday. The extended forecast had shown rain on Monday and Tuesday so I considered leaving Sunday. When my youngest woke up Saturday with an eye infection I considered it again. Honestly, I wasn’t quite ready to go back to real life. There was now a slow-moving winter storm coming right across our path home. If I waited it out we wouldn't leave until Wednesday or Thursday. I decided to go on Monday as planned. I felt uncertain about what to do but I didn't know why. I did think of asking my dad to check out the Suburban for me but I felt kind of silly. We had done a lot of work to it and there was nothing to suggest that anything was wrong. Well, I had to add a gallon of coolant on the way there so I had been keeping an eye on that. I even checked it before I left and bought 2 gallons to keep with me just in case but it was fine.
The first part of the trip was great we had pretty good weather and made good time to Knoxville, TN. That is about half way for us. We stopped for lunch at McDonalds and I let the kids play for about an hour. We filled up the tank and started back on I-40. At which point I couldn't go above 50mph and the RPM's shot up to 5!!! I didn’t know what was wrong so I pulled over and checked for a flat tired or parking brake but everything looked okay. I went on to the next exit and got off. We drove around for a few minutes looking for a place to park so I could use the GPS to find a mechanic. I saw a lube shop and stopped there. The man was VERY nice and said they could take a look and either fix it or tell us where to take it.
First, they found a bad leak in the transmission line. Apparently it had been cut and sliced with rubber hose which was not good enough. They replaced it with a metal pipe and assured me that it would last for a while. But after adding 5 quarts of fluid it still wouldn't shift into third gear. They said the upper gears were bad and I should put it in2nd gear to drive. "Don't go above 45 and you should be fine." They suggested the interstate because it would be the straightest, shortest route and limit more wear on the gears.
We had 225 miles to go. It was raining pretty hard. 45 isn't bad in those conditions. We drove about 2 hours before it was dark and clear... and 70 mph. We were stopped by a state trooper. He wasn't very helpful but said that if I got off at the next exit I could take a highway that ran parallel to the interstate “for a while". We crawled along to the exit and got something to eat. Well, the kids ate. I was too upset to eat. I bought a map (since GPS can be really stupid!) and took that highway to the next town, about 20 miles. The clerk that sold me the map said there was nothing after that. (He turned out to be right!)
We got a hotel in Cookesville. I didn't want to try the unfamiliar roads at night, in bad weather with a flood watch out. I couldn't risk being stuck in the middle of nowhere with 7 kids. I didn't sleep well. But we got a free breakfast and I was able to email my husband. (Did I mention he's deployed?) Until this point I had considered getting it fixed, even if we had to stay a few days. That didn't quite seem like the best idea (think of keeping 7 kids entertained without a car... and did I mention the winter storm? No exactly walking weather!) I did a quick search for "rebuild transmission cost" and saw that the top few results were around 2000-2500.
Okay, never mind. I guess we will keep going. I prayed a lot that morning. I felt like we should stop by the dealership that the GPS had shown. I talked to the guy about cost, time, and how to get home in 2nd gear. He basically confirmed everything I already knew but at least that was reassuring. He and another guy said the highway I had taken to get there would go all the way to Nashville and I should have no trouble getting home if I took it slow. I also asked about a 9 passenger vehicle, just in case. The guy made some suggestions but didn't have one. I decided to keep going. Before I even got out of town my husband called. He made more suggestion, mainly to go slow (about 35) and add some Transmedic to protect what was left of the transmission. I went right back to the place across from the dealer and the guys there put some stuff in it for me.
We drove down this quiet, scenic country road for hours. I tried to stay around 30 mph. I did NOT want to ruin that gear! We made slow and steady progress. We stopped for lunch at another McDonalds and the kids played for a while. I bought more maps and called a few people from our ward to make sure I was looking at the right roads. By then I was sure of what I was doing and where I was going. My only anxiety was whether the transmission would last until we got home.
Well, it did. We got home after driving for about 7 hours at 30 miles per hour. And the kids were ready to kill each other! (Did I mention I didn't bring a DVD player and I don't have a smart phone? We were really low-tech on this trip!)
Here are some things I learned from this:
I learned that the tender mercies of the Lord are indeed a "multitude". We were able to find good people to help us along the way. We were able to feed ourselves. We were able to travel through a very beautiful area and enjoy it because we weren't racing through it. We had some good talks and prayed together and sang Christmas songs and Primary songs. There was no quick fix. We all had to find better ways to do things. We had to put our personal comforts aside to accommodate the needs of others. We had to really look at each other and acknowledge each other. Let me tell you, it was HARD!!! I have felt for a long time that we are too selfish. Now I see that we really do need to work on that.
At one point I decided to tell some stories. The first one I picked was "The Christmas Oranges". I sobbed through the whole thing! I had been feeling really guilty about this car issue. I don't like to make mistakes. And I am not very forgiving of myself. I imagined that I was little girl, crying into my pillow thinking "I don't deserve an orange anyway!!" And yet there are always people who are very willing to make sacrifices to make it better. Especially the Savior.
And that isn't all! When I got home I had an email that told a similar story of overlooking the flaws of others. I had another with a video clip by Elder Russell M. Nelson about fear and faith. AND a friend of ours was planning to come till the garden while we were gone. I came home to trimmed bushed, racked flower beds, cut grass including the trimming, and beautifully tilled garden! It looked so great even the kids noticed!
I'm pretty sure this isn't the end of this lesson. I still feel really uncertain about the immediate future. But I have a sure hope that it will all work out.
On our way home we saw a rainbow across the road. As we drove the rainbow moved with us. Here are the pictures taken by my 10 year old daughter. You can see a double rainbow in some of the pictures. And, yes, it was raining at the time! (Oh, yeah, that is just a big stick smudge in the middle that I can't get off. Oh, well!)
Wednesday, November 2, 2011
Why Do We Need Revelation?
I recently had a reader ask some questions/make some comments about the subject of revelation.
Here are 3 talks from General Conference, all by Apostles of Jesus Christ, that give very clear information about what personal revelation is and how we receive it.
Boyd K. Packer http://lds.org/general-conference/2011/04/guided-by-the-holy-spirit?lang=eng
David A. Bednar http://lds.org/general-conference/2011/04/the-spirit-of-revelation?lang=eng&query=revelation
Richard G. Scott http://lds.org/general-conference/2009/10/to-acquire-spiritual-guidance?lang=eng&query=write+down+(name%3a"Richard+G.+Scott")
I would like to respond to a few points from an article that this reader shared. The link is here if you would like to read it for yourself. While this is obviously a well thought-out presentation, it is the work of a man. However well-intended and educated this man may be it is not from God in an official sense. I think the writer would have to agree that his work is not revelation, based on his conclusions.
As I thought about this question and how to respond, I was naturally led to ask "Why do we need revelation? Why do we have it?" I have concluded that the the answer lies in another uniquely LDS doctrine, that of our relationship to God. We believe he is our Father, literally the father of our spirits, and that he loves each of us as any father loves his child.
My impression of non-LDS beliefs about God is that he is a distant observer, sometimes interacting with us, sometimes not, depending on his whims. There is a sense that God might be too busy for us or that he will create and destroy according to his impulse. It seems that we are all merely subject to him as servants or pawns and nothing more. I even had one person tell me that God loves those who obey as anyone would love a creation that turned out the way they planned. Many seem to reject the idea that God's love is unconditional and that our relationship to him is significant.
In the book of Moses, part of the Pearl of Great Price, our Heavenly Father has said "This is my work and my glory -to bring to pass the immortality and eternal life of man." Moses 1:39 God has nothing better to do. Everything he has created is for us, his beloved children. (Moses 3:9) Does he get angry with us? Yes. Does he punish the disobedient? Yes. Does he weep for our wickedness? Yes.
"And it came to pass that the God of heaven looked upon the residue of the people, and he wept; and Enoch bore record of it, saying: How is it that the heavens weep, and shed forth their tears as the rain upon the mountains?" (continue reading Moses 7:28-40)
I have come to understand, at least a little, how much we really depend on God from moment to moment, just as King Benjamin explains. "I say unto you that if ye should serve him who has created you from the beginning, and is preserving you from day to day, by lending you breath, that ye may live and move and do according to your own will, and even supporting you from one moment to another—I say, if ye should serve him with all your whole souls yet ye would be unprofitable servants." (Mosiah 2:21) I suspect he is more present than most of us can even imagine.
So, what does this have to do with revelation? Everything! If He is our Father and loves us and wants what is best for us then he will guide us. That doesn't mean that everything we are guided to do will be successful, at least in the worldly sense. The article uses the example of being inspired to start a business. If that business fails then maybe you weren't inspired after all. My thought was that maybe you were inspired to do that so you could learn something or be humbled or interact with someone who you otherwise would not have met. The possibilities are infinite!
This thought led to another concept that differs from many of our Christian counterparts; that we are eternal beings. Some believe we don't exist until conception or birth. While most Christians believe in an afterlife there is much confusion about what it is like and what we will do/be after we die.
LDS doctrine is not so vague. We believe that we lived before we were born as spirit children of God and we can continue to learn and grow and even reproduce for eternity.Our view of "Heaven" or "eternal life" is not floating on clouds playing harps. Nor is it running errands for God. The things in life that bring the most joy -working, learning, being with loved ones, serving one another and serving our Father- are the activities that will continue to bring us joy throughout eternity.
This relates to the question of revelation in a very practical way. "Whatever principle of intelligence we attain unto in this life, it will rise with us in the resurrection. And if a person gains more knowledge and intelligence in this life through his diligence and obedience than another, he will have so much the advantage in the world to come." (D&C 130:18-19) In the case of the business, learning valuable lessons that include overcoming failure and trying again will only bring that person blessings in the long run.
Both the article and the reader asked how we can claim divine revelation if we are wrong sometimes. From my personal experience I have learned a few lessons about this.
A) Sometimes I do what seems like the best idea without asking Heavenly Father for guidance. I have had experiences where I didn't see any other option at the moment but I later realized there was a better option. If I had prayed and been guided to act in that way it would have required great faith but it had the better outcome.
B) Sometimes I feel prompted to act a certain way and I don't. Sometimes I later see that I should have done it and regret my choice. Sometimes I don't see what might have been. A few of those moments have left significant impressions on me.
C) I have had some very intense, undeniable moments when I received a very strong prompting to do or not do something. Again, some of these seemed fruitless or inconsequential. Is that because I misunderstood? NO. As I said, the impressions were unmistakable. I can't know what the Lord had in mind. I even felt the peace of knowing that I did what the Lord required and it is out of my hands. Most of these are so significant that I can not speculate about other possibilites. That would mean denying the voice of God.
The article said that if a person isn't 100% accurate 100% of the time they can't trust anything to be from God. The longer I think about this the more it makes me sad. Revelation is a process. It also takes practice and effort in the way it might take effort to know and understand our own parents. We learn through study and experience. As our relationship with our Father matures, we come to see his will more clearly and recognize his voice.
This subject has left one very unsettling question in my mind: if this is true, why are so many kidnapped, abused, deceived, even murdered? If God speaks to his children why doesn't he warn them?! This is a tough one!
Through revelation to his chosen prophet, God has restored the priesthood authority to perform vicarious work for those who died without knowledge of the truth. In a nutshell, those little girls in Asia who are killed for being girls will be able to receive all the blessings of God even though they were not raised in Christian nations. Those young men who are killed in tribal wars in Africa or the Middle East will have a chance to hear and accept the gospel in the Spirit World.
The Lord has also said "Behold, ye are little children and ye cannot bear all things now; ye must grow in grace and in the knowledge of the truth. Fear not, little children, for you are mine, and I have overcome the world, and you are of them that my Father hath given me; And none of them that my Father hath given me shall be lost." D&C 50:40-42 , emphasis added. (see also Neh. 4:14; Ps. 56:4 (4, 11); 118:6; Jer. 1:17 (17–19); Luke 12:5 (4–5); 2 Ne. 8:7 (7–12); D&C 3:7; 98:14; 122.)
God also looks after each of these as his children. The Atonement of Jesus Christ not only erases sin but erases pain. I like this story best. I was privileged to hear Brother Hoffman tell his story in person. I am including a video of the Mormon Tabernacle Choir singing this song. (Now tell me you don't feel the Spirit when you hear this!)
I know that there are things in this world we can not understand fully. I know that God's ways are higher than our ways. He knows things we don't. He gives commandments we struggle to understand and not only does he forgive us repeatedly, he works with us to change and become what he knows we can be. He is our greatest cheerleader and truest friend. We can rely on him to ALWAYS guide us to what is best for us.
Here are 3 talks from General Conference, all by Apostles of Jesus Christ, that give very clear information about what personal revelation is and how we receive it.
Boyd K. Packer http://lds.org/general-conference/2011/04/guided-by-the-holy-spirit?lang=eng
David A. Bednar http://lds.org/general-conference/2011/04/the-spirit-of-revelation?lang=eng&query=revelation
Richard G. Scott http://lds.org/general-conference/2009/10/to-acquire-spiritual-guidance?lang=eng&query=write+down+(name%3a"Richard+G.+Scott")
I would like to respond to a few points from an article that this reader shared. The link is here if you would like to read it for yourself. While this is obviously a well thought-out presentation, it is the work of a man. However well-intended and educated this man may be it is not from God in an official sense. I think the writer would have to agree that his work is not revelation, based on his conclusions.
As I thought about this question and how to respond, I was naturally led to ask "Why do we need revelation? Why do we have it?" I have concluded that the the answer lies in another uniquely LDS doctrine, that of our relationship to God. We believe he is our Father, literally the father of our spirits, and that he loves each of us as any father loves his child.
My impression of non-LDS beliefs about God is that he is a distant observer, sometimes interacting with us, sometimes not, depending on his whims. There is a sense that God might be too busy for us or that he will create and destroy according to his impulse. It seems that we are all merely subject to him as servants or pawns and nothing more. I even had one person tell me that God loves those who obey as anyone would love a creation that turned out the way they planned. Many seem to reject the idea that God's love is unconditional and that our relationship to him is significant.
In the book of Moses, part of the Pearl of Great Price, our Heavenly Father has said "This is my work and my glory -to bring to pass the immortality and eternal life of man." Moses 1:39 God has nothing better to do. Everything he has created is for us, his beloved children. (Moses 3:9) Does he get angry with us? Yes. Does he punish the disobedient? Yes. Does he weep for our wickedness? Yes.
"And it came to pass that the God of heaven looked upon the residue of the people, and he wept; and Enoch bore record of it, saying: How is it that the heavens weep, and shed forth their tears as the rain upon the mountains?" (continue reading Moses 7:28-40)
I have come to understand, at least a little, how much we really depend on God from moment to moment, just as King Benjamin explains. "I say unto you that if ye should serve him who has created you from the beginning, and is preserving you from day to day, by lending you breath, that ye may live and move and do according to your own will, and even supporting you from one moment to another—I say, if ye should serve him with all your whole souls yet ye would be unprofitable servants." (Mosiah 2:21) I suspect he is more present than most of us can even imagine.
So, what does this have to do with revelation? Everything! If He is our Father and loves us and wants what is best for us then he will guide us. That doesn't mean that everything we are guided to do will be successful, at least in the worldly sense. The article uses the example of being inspired to start a business. If that business fails then maybe you weren't inspired after all. My thought was that maybe you were inspired to do that so you could learn something or be humbled or interact with someone who you otherwise would not have met. The possibilities are infinite!
This thought led to another concept that differs from many of our Christian counterparts; that we are eternal beings. Some believe we don't exist until conception or birth. While most Christians believe in an afterlife there is much confusion about what it is like and what we will do/be after we die.
LDS doctrine is not so vague. We believe that we lived before we were born as spirit children of God and we can continue to learn and grow and even reproduce for eternity.Our view of "Heaven" or "eternal life" is not floating on clouds playing harps. Nor is it running errands for God. The things in life that bring the most joy -working, learning, being with loved ones, serving one another and serving our Father- are the activities that will continue to bring us joy throughout eternity.
This relates to the question of revelation in a very practical way. "Whatever principle of intelligence we attain unto in this life, it will rise with us in the resurrection. And if a person gains more knowledge and intelligence in this life through his diligence and obedience than another, he will have so much the advantage in the world to come." (D&C 130:18-19) In the case of the business, learning valuable lessons that include overcoming failure and trying again will only bring that person blessings in the long run.
Both the article and the reader asked how we can claim divine revelation if we are wrong sometimes. From my personal experience I have learned a few lessons about this.
A) Sometimes I do what seems like the best idea without asking Heavenly Father for guidance. I have had experiences where I didn't see any other option at the moment but I later realized there was a better option. If I had prayed and been guided to act in that way it would have required great faith but it had the better outcome.
B) Sometimes I feel prompted to act a certain way and I don't. Sometimes I later see that I should have done it and regret my choice. Sometimes I don't see what might have been. A few of those moments have left significant impressions on me.
C) I have had some very intense, undeniable moments when I received a very strong prompting to do or not do something. Again, some of these seemed fruitless or inconsequential. Is that because I misunderstood? NO. As I said, the impressions were unmistakable. I can't know what the Lord had in mind. I even felt the peace of knowing that I did what the Lord required and it is out of my hands. Most of these are so significant that I can not speculate about other possibilites. That would mean denying the voice of God.
The article said that if a person isn't 100% accurate 100% of the time they can't trust anything to be from God. The longer I think about this the more it makes me sad. Revelation is a process. It also takes practice and effort in the way it might take effort to know and understand our own parents. We learn through study and experience. As our relationship with our Father matures, we come to see his will more clearly and recognize his voice.
This subject has left one very unsettling question in my mind: if this is true, why are so many kidnapped, abused, deceived, even murdered? If God speaks to his children why doesn't he warn them?! This is a tough one!
Through revelation to his chosen prophet, God has restored the priesthood authority to perform vicarious work for those who died without knowledge of the truth. In a nutshell, those little girls in Asia who are killed for being girls will be able to receive all the blessings of God even though they were not raised in Christian nations. Those young men who are killed in tribal wars in Africa or the Middle East will have a chance to hear and accept the gospel in the Spirit World.
The Lord has also said "Behold, ye are little children and ye cannot bear all things now; ye must grow in grace and in the knowledge of the truth. Fear not, little children, for you are mine, and I have overcome the world, and you are of them that my Father hath given me; And none of them that my Father hath given me shall be lost." D&C 50:40-42 , emphasis added. (see also Neh. 4:14; Ps. 56:4 (4, 11); 118:6; Jer. 1:17 (17–19); Luke 12:5 (4–5); 2 Ne. 8:7 (7–12); D&C 3:7; 98:14; 122.)
God also looks after each of these as his children. The Atonement of Jesus Christ not only erases sin but erases pain. I like this story best. I was privileged to hear Brother Hoffman tell his story in person. I am including a video of the Mormon Tabernacle Choir singing this song. (Now tell me you don't feel the Spirit when you hear this!)
"And he shall go forth, suffering pains and afflictions and temptations of every kind; and this that the word might be fulfilled which saith he will take upon him the pains and the sicknesses of his people. And he will take upon him death, that he may loose the bands of death which bind his people; and he will take upon him their infirmities, that his bowels may be filled with mercy, according to the flesh, that he may know according to the flesh how to succor his people according to their infirmities." (Alma 7:11)
I know that there are things in this world we can not understand fully. I know that God's ways are higher than our ways. He knows things we don't. He gives commandments we struggle to understand and not only does he forgive us repeatedly, he works with us to change and become what he knows we can be. He is our greatest cheerleader and truest friend. We can rely on him to ALWAYS guide us to what is best for us.
Wednesday, October 26, 2011
Good Gossip
I recently started following a blog called Middle-Aged Mormon Man. He has been discussing the so-called Long-toed Mormons, those who may need help but don't get it because no one wants to step on their toes. He followed up with a part 2, a less critical, more serious post about why we help or don't help, ask or don't ask. I have thought about this subject a lot in recent years.
When I was younger I felt like a trouble magnet. It seemed my shoulders were made for crying on, my ears were made for listening. Sometimes it was annoying but I most of the time I actually enjoyed it. I felt important, needed, valuable.
At some point I crossed over. I don't know exactly when it happened but I lost my touch. Suddenly no one was coming to me to talk. No one wanted my support or comfort. I guess it was around the time I started having children. I felt a little overwhelmed by having someone who needed me constantly. I didn't know what I was doing. I needed advice and support from more experienced mothers. And there were lots of them!
Sometimes I felt uncomfortable being the one in need. On the rare occasions that someone asked me for parenting advice I freaked out! "I don't know!" I inwardly screamed "I don't know what I'm doing either!" It was a hard transition. And, as MMM describes, pride was the big stumbling block. I didn't like not knowing. I didn't like being just like everyone else. I didn't like that helpless, vulnerable feeling. What am I saying, I still don't like it!
To compensate, I focused on my kids. I knew more than them, right? Now they are getting older and sometimes ask questions I can't answer or don't want to answer. And the stupid schools have to go and change things so my kids look at me like I am insane when I say "carry the one" or "take away 4" or "what's a rubric?". And even if I think I have figured out how to be a parent to say, a three year old, each child is unique! :)
In some ways it was nice to be in my own little world. I didn't have to worry about the rest of the ward. If I had a calling I did it as well as I could. I kept my head down and stayed out of people's way. After a while I realized that I knew very little about those around me. And they knew little about me. I had taken the attitude that I wouldn't pry into other people's lives. If they wanted me to know they would tell me. It seemed no one wanted me to know.
I realized that I had a similar attitude about sharing information about myself. "If they want to know, they will ask". This was kind of contradictory. I wouldn't ask or tell. This has lead to some serious isolation! I think I have also given the impression that I don't care about those around me. This isn't true. Exactly. If I really take the time to think it through, I don't want to know everyone's problems because I will feel obligated to do something about them. Contrary to popular belief, I really can't do everything!
So I guess I do intentionally, if subconsciously, keep people at a distance. But that isn't my point here.
I grew up in a ward where everyone knew everyone else. We got new members from time to time, move-ins, visitors, etc. But for the most part the same people were there week after week, year after year. I am sure I don't know everything about everyone. But I know a lot. I know about some of the skeletons in the closets. I know about the illnesses and injuries, the scandals and tragedies. I know about the successes and miracles. I know, in part, because of gossip. There are certain people in the ward you can count on to pass information around. I sometimes miss being a branch on one of those information trees!
Okay, technically gossip is the snide, nip-picky, rude, nosy talking that people do out of spite and boredom. I HATE that kind of gossip. What I am talking about is the "good gossip". That is the wild-fire spreading of information that people might need to know.
For example, several years ago a friend of mine was having complications with her pregnancy. I called to check on her and she told me that she had miscarried. She stoically told me the whole story through her tears. I was heartbroken for her. When I went to the school to pick up my kids I met a few other sisters from the ward. I told them what I had learned. We all mourned for her loss. We discussed what we could do and followed through with our plans. I felt guilty for telling others her private business, even though she had not asked me to keep it quiet and everyone knew she was having problems. It wasn't my place. Or was it?
I have struggled with this issue for a long time. What is appropriate to tell and what isn't? There is a good explanation of this in a New Era article. It is our intentions that count and whether what we share is helpful or hurtful to others.
It's still a tough question. My 5th grader has recently earned the title "snitch" for telling the teacher when some boys in her class were fighting. She feels ostracized and has cried many times over this experience. She keeps justifying her actions to me, saying "They were punching each other! What was I supposed to do?!" All of my support and assurances barely soothe the pain she now feels.
What should we tell? What should we ask? What is our buisness and what isn't? I like getting different perspectives on issues so I can better understand what happened. It isn't always out of a desire to help someone. Sometimes I just want to understand them better. Is that a good enough reason? If I ask inappropriate quesitons will people tell me I crossed a line or will they just avoid me and label me?
My conclusion is that is isn't wrong to know things about poeple. It isn't wrong to tell others if someone needs help, specifically those who are in a position to do something about it. Ultimately we should follow the Spirit. If we get a feeling to share or keep quiet, we should follow that impression. We can't always know the consequences.
When I was younger I felt like a trouble magnet. It seemed my shoulders were made for crying on, my ears were made for listening. Sometimes it was annoying but I most of the time I actually enjoyed it. I felt important, needed, valuable.
At some point I crossed over. I don't know exactly when it happened but I lost my touch. Suddenly no one was coming to me to talk. No one wanted my support or comfort. I guess it was around the time I started having children. I felt a little overwhelmed by having someone who needed me constantly. I didn't know what I was doing. I needed advice and support from more experienced mothers. And there were lots of them!
Sometimes I felt uncomfortable being the one in need. On the rare occasions that someone asked me for parenting advice I freaked out! "I don't know!" I inwardly screamed "I don't know what I'm doing either!" It was a hard transition. And, as MMM describes, pride was the big stumbling block. I didn't like not knowing. I didn't like being just like everyone else. I didn't like that helpless, vulnerable feeling. What am I saying, I still don't like it!
To compensate, I focused on my kids. I knew more than them, right? Now they are getting older and sometimes ask questions I can't answer or don't want to answer. And the stupid schools have to go and change things so my kids look at me like I am insane when I say "carry the one" or "take away 4" or "what's a rubric?". And even if I think I have figured out how to be a parent to say, a three year old, each child is unique! :)
In some ways it was nice to be in my own little world. I didn't have to worry about the rest of the ward. If I had a calling I did it as well as I could. I kept my head down and stayed out of people's way. After a while I realized that I knew very little about those around me. And they knew little about me. I had taken the attitude that I wouldn't pry into other people's lives. If they wanted me to know they would tell me. It seemed no one wanted me to know.
I realized that I had a similar attitude about sharing information about myself. "If they want to know, they will ask". This was kind of contradictory. I wouldn't ask or tell. This has lead to some serious isolation! I think I have also given the impression that I don't care about those around me. This isn't true. Exactly. If I really take the time to think it through, I don't want to know everyone's problems because I will feel obligated to do something about them. Contrary to popular belief, I really can't do everything!
So I guess I do intentionally, if subconsciously, keep people at a distance. But that isn't my point here.
I grew up in a ward where everyone knew everyone else. We got new members from time to time, move-ins, visitors, etc. But for the most part the same people were there week after week, year after year. I am sure I don't know everything about everyone. But I know a lot. I know about some of the skeletons in the closets. I know about the illnesses and injuries, the scandals and tragedies. I know about the successes and miracles. I know, in part, because of gossip. There are certain people in the ward you can count on to pass information around. I sometimes miss being a branch on one of those information trees!
Okay, technically gossip is the snide, nip-picky, rude, nosy talking that people do out of spite and boredom. I HATE that kind of gossip. What I am talking about is the "good gossip". That is the wild-fire spreading of information that people might need to know.
For example, several years ago a friend of mine was having complications with her pregnancy. I called to check on her and she told me that she had miscarried. She stoically told me the whole story through her tears. I was heartbroken for her. When I went to the school to pick up my kids I met a few other sisters from the ward. I told them what I had learned. We all mourned for her loss. We discussed what we could do and followed through with our plans. I felt guilty for telling others her private business, even though she had not asked me to keep it quiet and everyone knew she was having problems. It wasn't my place. Or was it?
I have struggled with this issue for a long time. What is appropriate to tell and what isn't? There is a good explanation of this in a New Era article. It is our intentions that count and whether what we share is helpful or hurtful to others.
It's still a tough question. My 5th grader has recently earned the title "snitch" for telling the teacher when some boys in her class were fighting. She feels ostracized and has cried many times over this experience. She keeps justifying her actions to me, saying "They were punching each other! What was I supposed to do?!" All of my support and assurances barely soothe the pain she now feels.
What should we tell? What should we ask? What is our buisness and what isn't? I like getting different perspectives on issues so I can better understand what happened. It isn't always out of a desire to help someone. Sometimes I just want to understand them better. Is that a good enough reason? If I ask inappropriate quesitons will people tell me I crossed a line or will they just avoid me and label me?
My conclusion is that is isn't wrong to know things about poeple. It isn't wrong to tell others if someone needs help, specifically those who are in a position to do something about it. Ultimately we should follow the Spirit. If we get a feeling to share or keep quiet, we should follow that impression. We can't always know the consequences.
Thursday, October 20, 2011
R-E-S-P-E-C-T
Have you heard this? It is a terrible, horrifying tragedy. When I first saw this photo I thought it was from some African country, not Ohio! I have heard many lamenting the loss of these animals. Comments like "Animals shouldn't pay for people's mistakes." or "When will an animal's life be more valuable than a human's life?" (Yes, really!) The general feelings are that the tigers are endangered and should not have been killed.
I get it. You like animals. You don't want to see them wiped off the face of the earth. You don't want them mistreated. "We think, they don't. Can't we do better?", etc.
Have you ever been face to face with a tiger?
About 6 years ago I took my 4 little ones to the Nuernberg Zoo in Nuernberg, Germany. The tiger exhibit was wonderful. There was a mother tiger with 2 babies outside in the tiger habitat. They were playing; wrestling, swimming, chasing each other. The mother would play with them and seemed to scold them when they got carried away. It was enchanting! (There are photos and video of another litter of tiger babies at the zoo link above.)
After watching them for some time we went into the tiger house next to the outdoor area. The building was fairly small. There were several cages around the edge of the room with bars on our side and closed doors on the far side. Only one cage contained a tiger. It was a male, probably the father of those cute, playful cubs outside with their mother.
He was HUGE! I had never seen a real tiger before, especially not so close. He was only about 3 feet away, stalking back and forth, glaring at us through the bars. His eyes never left us. I stood frozen, temporarily mesmerized by his intense eyes and powerful presence. Next to me were my children. They had never seemed so small and vulnerable. I saw the tiger's gaze fall on them. His eyes seemed to convey his thoughts "Ah, those small ones look tender! They would be easy to catch!"
I held the children close as the tiger made eye contact with me. He seemed to say "You're lucky these bars are here. I would not hesitate to eat you all!" I was chilled to my core by his obvious attention. Even now I think that is the only time I have ever felt pure, true fear.
I also felt respect, deep respect, for that animal. I felt as though I had gained an audience with a powerful king and had escaped with my life and the lives of my children. I imagined the bars were only for my benefit; that the tiger could have killed us if he wanted to but he had granted us a pardon. I have never looked at tigers the same way since.
Thinking of this experience, I feel pity for the erosion of this majestic beast's reputation. Today's tigers are
 |
| Rintoo |
 |
| Tigger |
 |
| Tony |
 |
| Rajah |
As tragic as it is that there are now a few less of these amazing creatures, I know what they are capable of. I know the danger they could pose in an unprepared community. I know that they deserve our respect. Those men in Ohio know this too. They did not kill those animals out of blood-thirsty hatred or wreckless sport. They did it out of respectful fear for the lives of those they serve. They did it out of duty and compassion for human life. Before you judge, visit a zoo. Stand face to face with the king and imagine there are no bars. I have no doubt they made the best choice.
Tuesday, September 27, 2011
Swingin' On A Star!
This song brings back wonderful childhood memories for me. I found several renditions. I couldn't decide on which one to use so here are the ones I enjoyed! I hope you like them, too!
This one cracked me up. Watch the kid's eyebrows when he sings!
I love this style of music. Why did I have to be born in the age of rap and crap!
http://www.frequency.com/video/dion-belmonts-swingin-on-star/5634440
What irony! They use this song about making good choices to help them steal a valuable statue.
This one cracked me up. Watch the kid's eyebrows when he sings!
I love this style of music. Why did I have to be born in the age of rap and crap!
http://www.frequency.com/video/dion-belmonts-swingin-on-star/5634440
What irony! They use this song about making good choices to help them steal a valuable statue.
Friday, September 23, 2011
5 for Friday: the Law of Chastity
This week I am going with a theme: The Law of Chastity.
For centuries there was a basic, accepted belief that sexual activity was to be restricted to a man and woman who were legally married. While there were always those who ignored this law, I believe most people lived this way. There was little reason not to. No TV or Internet or music to tempt you away from your commitments. That was simply life and people lived it.
At some point in the not-so-distant past, Society decided this law was stupid. "They" collectively wadded it up, threw it in the mud, stomped on it for a while and then spit on it for good measure.
"Ha, HA! Take that you antiquated, restrictive law that sucks the fun out of everything we want to do! We are educated and we know better than to follow some stuffy old rules. We are going to go out and make the world way cooler and totally more funner! So there!!"
Now that some time has passed, the folly of this choice is glaringly obvious. Governments and civic groups scramble to fix the problems without reinstating this simple law and running the risk of being called horrible names like "lame" and "old-fashioned".
My 5 for Friday will be 5 problems that are the direct result of breaking the Law of Chastity. I must admit that I am continually shocked by how screwed up things have become in such a few short years!
1. Unplanned Pregnancies. This applies specifically to those born to unmarried parents. Now, you might be thinking of committed couples who never got around to getting married or those crazy teenagers who made one mistake. While these situations may be breaking the Law of Chastity, they are not even close to the biggest problems in this area.
For example: I know a woman who has 2 children by 2 different men. She was not married to either man. Each man has at least one child by another woman. One man wants nothing to do with any of his children. The mothers are spending time together so their kids can "get to know their brothers and sisters". The children are naturally confused about their relationship with one another, especially confused that their brother's brother is not their brother because he has a different father. Amazingly, none of the adults see anything wrong with this situation!
2. Artificial Insemination. This might seem like a way around the Law of Chastity. You can have a baby without being married of even having sex! But the consequences are shocking. Children conceived this way have no idea who their fathers are. They might marry their half sibling and not even know! There are cases of men "fathering" DOZENS!!! of children. Now our government is try to regulate this process because "Ooops! We didn't think about the long term consequences." There is talk of legal rights of "donor dads", privacy issues, medical histories, etc. I can't imagine how those pedigree charts look! And who would they be sealed to if the opportunity arose?
3. Abortion. This is not exactly news anymore. And that’s the problem. In one generation abortion has gone from being a controversial issue to being widely accepted and even encouraged. It is no longer the desperate attempt of a woman who made a mistake. Abortion is such an acceptable form of birth control that it is a routine question when a woman has a positive pregnancy test. "Well, ma'am, your test is positive. You're going to have a baby...if you want to. If you don't, I can make you an appointment right now to take care of that." Like a baby is just an annoying parasite!
4. Disease. Sexually transmitted diseases have been around for a long time but never in the numbers we see today. There are the innocent children who are infected and potentially contagious in certain situations. Thanks to privacy laws teacher and parents don’t know who might be infected and therefore have extensive procedures to insure a certain degree of safety. Medical professionals try hard to fight those diseases, many of which are incurable. There are drug treatments, vaccines, and preventative steps taught in schools and hospitals. Those encouraging abstinence are openly mocked. Isn't it better to stay well than to take such a potentially life-threatening risk? How much suffering would be eliminated if people kept the Law of Chastity?
5. Divorce. Divorce is increasingly common. It is heartbreaking to see families torn apart. The reasons for divorce are varied but breaking the Law of Chastity is a common cause. Many people still believe that you should be faithful to your spouse even if they did not abstain before marriage. So why is it so hard? My theory is, simply, habit. In a world where promiscuity is not only expected but encouraged, many young people have sex simply to fit in. There is no commitment, no self-control. They learn to give in to their urges and act on impulse. They get married, fully intending to be faithful. Then those urges arise. They fall back into the patterns of their youth, acting on impulse and justifying their actions just as they did before. They did not learn proper skills for dealing with their sexual feeling and are unprepared to deal with them when they arise again.
The answers to life’s problems are often simple. There is a reason for the commandments we have been given. Breaking the Laws of God leads to chaos, confusion, and suffering. I guess sometimes we have to learn things the hard way!
I know that obedience is difficult. I also know that our Heavenly Father loves us and wants us to be happy. He has given us laws and commandments for a reason. Who would have imagined the disastrous consequences of breaking this law? I certainly wouldn’t have! But our Father knew. He has been constant. He has been patient. He has provided a way to repent when we mess up. As a whole, we cannot fix all the problems we have created by our disobedience. But as individuals we can make personal changes to fix the broken parts of our lives. The government can’t fix it. The UN can’t fix it. Non-Profit groups can’t fix it. Only by turning to the Lord can our society return to the order and peace that comes with obedience.
For centuries there was a basic, accepted belief that sexual activity was to be restricted to a man and woman who were legally married. While there were always those who ignored this law, I believe most people lived this way. There was little reason not to. No TV or Internet or music to tempt you away from your commitments. That was simply life and people lived it.
At some point in the not-so-distant past, Society decided this law was stupid. "They" collectively wadded it up, threw it in the mud, stomped on it for a while and then spit on it for good measure.
"Ha, HA! Take that you antiquated, restrictive law that sucks the fun out of everything we want to do! We are educated and we know better than to follow some stuffy old rules. We are going to go out and make the world way cooler and totally more funner! So there!!"
Now that some time has passed, the folly of this choice is glaringly obvious. Governments and civic groups scramble to fix the problems without reinstating this simple law and running the risk of being called horrible names like "lame" and "old-fashioned".
My 5 for Friday will be 5 problems that are the direct result of breaking the Law of Chastity. I must admit that I am continually shocked by how screwed up things have become in such a few short years!
1. Unplanned Pregnancies. This applies specifically to those born to unmarried parents. Now, you might be thinking of committed couples who never got around to getting married or those crazy teenagers who made one mistake. While these situations may be breaking the Law of Chastity, they are not even close to the biggest problems in this area.
For example: I know a woman who has 2 children by 2 different men. She was not married to either man. Each man has at least one child by another woman. One man wants nothing to do with any of his children. The mothers are spending time together so their kids can "get to know their brothers and sisters". The children are naturally confused about their relationship with one another, especially confused that their brother's brother is not their brother because he has a different father. Amazingly, none of the adults see anything wrong with this situation!
2. Artificial Insemination. This might seem like a way around the Law of Chastity. You can have a baby without being married of even having sex! But the consequences are shocking. Children conceived this way have no idea who their fathers are. They might marry their half sibling and not even know! There are cases of men "fathering" DOZENS!!! of children. Now our government is try to regulate this process because "Ooops! We didn't think about the long term consequences." There is talk of legal rights of "donor dads", privacy issues, medical histories, etc. I can't imagine how those pedigree charts look! And who would they be sealed to if the opportunity arose?
3. Abortion. This is not exactly news anymore. And that’s the problem. In one generation abortion has gone from being a controversial issue to being widely accepted and even encouraged. It is no longer the desperate attempt of a woman who made a mistake. Abortion is such an acceptable form of birth control that it is a routine question when a woman has a positive pregnancy test. "Well, ma'am, your test is positive. You're going to have a baby...if you want to. If you don't, I can make you an appointment right now to take care of that." Like a baby is just an annoying parasite!
4. Disease. Sexually transmitted diseases have been around for a long time but never in the numbers we see today. There are the innocent children who are infected and potentially contagious in certain situations. Thanks to privacy laws teacher and parents don’t know who might be infected and therefore have extensive procedures to insure a certain degree of safety. Medical professionals try hard to fight those diseases, many of which are incurable. There are drug treatments, vaccines, and preventative steps taught in schools and hospitals. Those encouraging abstinence are openly mocked. Isn't it better to stay well than to take such a potentially life-threatening risk? How much suffering would be eliminated if people kept the Law of Chastity?
5. Divorce. Divorce is increasingly common. It is heartbreaking to see families torn apart. The reasons for divorce are varied but breaking the Law of Chastity is a common cause. Many people still believe that you should be faithful to your spouse even if they did not abstain before marriage. So why is it so hard? My theory is, simply, habit. In a world where promiscuity is not only expected but encouraged, many young people have sex simply to fit in. There is no commitment, no self-control. They learn to give in to their urges and act on impulse. They get married, fully intending to be faithful. Then those urges arise. They fall back into the patterns of their youth, acting on impulse and justifying their actions just as they did before. They did not learn proper skills for dealing with their sexual feeling and are unprepared to deal with them when they arise again.
The answers to life’s problems are often simple. There is a reason for the commandments we have been given. Breaking the Laws of God leads to chaos, confusion, and suffering. I guess sometimes we have to learn things the hard way!
I know that obedience is difficult. I also know that our Heavenly Father loves us and wants us to be happy. He has given us laws and commandments for a reason. Who would have imagined the disastrous consequences of breaking this law? I certainly wouldn’t have! But our Father knew. He has been constant. He has been patient. He has provided a way to repent when we mess up. As a whole, we cannot fix all the problems we have created by our disobedience. But as individuals we can make personal changes to fix the broken parts of our lives. The government can’t fix it. The UN can’t fix it. Non-Profit groups can’t fix it. Only by turning to the Lord can our society return to the order and peace that comes with obedience.
Thursday, September 1, 2011
The Man Who Thinks He Can
Walter D. Wintle
If you think you are beaten, you are;
If you think you dare not, you don’t.
If you’d like to win, but think you can’t
It’s almost a cinch that you won’t
If you think you’ll lose, you’re lost,
For out in the world we find
Success begins with a fellow’s will;
It’s all in the state of mind.
If you think you’re outclassed, you are.
You’ve got to think high to rise.
You’ve got to be sure of yourself before
You can ever win a prize.
Life’s battles don’t always go
To the stronger or faster man;
But sooner or later the man who wins
Is the one who thinks he can.
Sunday, August 28, 2011
The Sin Of Omission
by Margaret Sangster
It isn't the thing you do, dear;
It's the thing you leave undone,
Which gives you a bit of heartache
At the setting of the sun.
The tender word forgotten,
The letter you did not write,
The flower you might have sent, dear,
Are your haunting ghosts to-night.
The stone you might have lifted
Out of brother's way,
The bit of heartsome counsel
You were hurried too much to say;
The loving touch of the hand, dear,
The gentle and winsome tone,
That you had no time nor thought for,
With troubles enough of your own.
The little acts of kindness,
So easily out of mind;
Those chances to be angels
Which every one may find
They come in night and silence
Each chill, reproachful wraith
When hope is faint and flagging
And a blight has dropped on faith.
For life is all too short, dear,
And sorrow is all too great;
To suffer our great compassion
That tarries until too late;
And it's not the thing you do, dear,
It's the thing you leave undone,
Which gives you the bit of heartache
At the setting of the sun.
Thursday, July 28, 2011
Kryptonite Withdrawal
I confessed some time ago that one of my biggest weaknesses is TV. I called it my Kryptonite. I was kind of joking, or so I thought. I didn't realize how much of an addict I was until it was gone.
In May, our family drove to North Carolina to visit with my family. The main purpose of this trip was to pick up my grandmother's piano and bring it back to our home. We had been talking about pianos for years. Being in the military makes having a piano a bit tricky so we had not made the effort to acquire one. We kept making excuses. From the moment we moved into this house I knew the perfect spot for a piano. It was also the perfect spot for our big screen TV.
So it was that nearly 2 months ago our TV and all its accessories moved to our bedroom and the Piano took its place.
*Sigh*
I love having a piano. Really. Don't think for one second that I am even considering a trade-back. I now spend a portion of every day plunking away at it, getting my fingers used to playing again, going over hymns for the choir to sing, just plain enjoying the music. I don't even mind the kids banging on it (and they all do!) It is like a long lost member of the family.
I still watch a little TV in my room. So I haven't given it up completely. But the changes over the past few months have been startling.
For one thing I see myself differently. I didn't expect that. I didn't know I was being so influenced by TV. Apparently I was under the impression that I needed to look and act a certain way because of my age or place in life or whatever. I felt terrible pressure to be better than I am in a superficial sort of way. I didn't act on those feelings. Well, not exactly. I realize now that I was feeling bad about my appearance every time I left the house. I felt embarrassed by my size, shape, hair color, hair style, lack of make-up, clothing choices, shoe choices, pretty much everything. I didn't feel that self-conscious in high school!
Exit TV. Now I fell great. I am fine with myself. I know I can improve in some ways but they are my choice now. I am no longer feeling sorry for the people who have to look at me. I don't feel overwhelmed by pressure to be perfect.
I also see other people differently. I don't see them as judging me any more. I didn't realize how much I thought others were looking down on me. I felt isolated and resentful for no real reason.
There have been a few unexpected withdrawal issues though. In the past, I rarely folded a shirt or mated a sock without sitting in front of the TV. In the past, these chores, while frequent, were not not really a burden to me. I was able to be entertained while I worked. Now I struggle through this tedious chore.
I have tried listening to books on CD and that has helped some. But I still long to sit on the couch and fold or sort while I watch a movie. I used to plan my day around this. "I will fold that load at 2:00 when this show come on" or "I want to watch this movie. I will wait until that load is dry so I can fold while I watch." Now I just put it off as long as I can.
These two changes alone have been a cold-water shock. I have realized just how deeply I was addicted. I can see how entwined into my life this creature really was. I suddenly want to rid myself and my family of all the worldly influences in our lives. I am trying not to overreact. At the same time, I keep thinking of the slow, slight methods of Satan. 2 Nephi give a few examples; "others will he pacify, and lull them away into carnal security...and leadeth them away carefully down to hell."(28:21) "he leadeth them by the neck with a flaxen cord, until he bindeth them with his strong cords forever." (26:22) I also can't help but think of the counsel of President James E. Faust who said "He can have no power over us unless we permit it." Is that what I have done? Have I permitted Satan to enter our home through his subtle means and lead us away from God? Have I given him power over me? I think I can only answer yes.
In a less menacing way, I feel like those people in Wall-e. I realize instead of living I have been letting time pass. I have forgotten many of the things that bring me happiness in place of things that bring pleasure...mindless, meaningless pleasure. And like any drug, I need a bigger dose to get my fix the next time.
I am still recovering form this addiction. I know that I could fall off the wagon if I am not careful. I know that I could easily allow this seemingly benign object to become the major influence in my life again. I know it isn't the only danger either.
I challenge you to take a look at your life and see if there is something like this in your life. Try giving it up for a while and see what happens. I warn you it might be hard and even humbling. Sometimes it takes a dose of nasty medicine to realize how sick we really were.
In May, our family drove to North Carolina to visit with my family. The main purpose of this trip was to pick up my grandmother's piano and bring it back to our home. We had been talking about pianos for years. Being in the military makes having a piano a bit tricky so we had not made the effort to acquire one. We kept making excuses. From the moment we moved into this house I knew the perfect spot for a piano. It was also the perfect spot for our big screen TV.
So it was that nearly 2 months ago our TV and all its accessories moved to our bedroom and the Piano took its place.
*Sigh*
I love having a piano. Really. Don't think for one second that I am even considering a trade-back. I now spend a portion of every day plunking away at it, getting my fingers used to playing again, going over hymns for the choir to sing, just plain enjoying the music. I don't even mind the kids banging on it (and they all do!) It is like a long lost member of the family.
I still watch a little TV in my room. So I haven't given it up completely. But the changes over the past few months have been startling.
For one thing I see myself differently. I didn't expect that. I didn't know I was being so influenced by TV. Apparently I was under the impression that I needed to look and act a certain way because of my age or place in life or whatever. I felt terrible pressure to be better than I am in a superficial sort of way. I didn't act on those feelings. Well, not exactly. I realize now that I was feeling bad about my appearance every time I left the house. I felt embarrassed by my size, shape, hair color, hair style, lack of make-up, clothing choices, shoe choices, pretty much everything. I didn't feel that self-conscious in high school!
Exit TV. Now I fell great. I am fine with myself. I know I can improve in some ways but they are my choice now. I am no longer feeling sorry for the people who have to look at me. I don't feel overwhelmed by pressure to be perfect.
I also see other people differently. I don't see them as judging me any more. I didn't realize how much I thought others were looking down on me. I felt isolated and resentful for no real reason.
There have been a few unexpected withdrawal issues though. In the past, I rarely folded a shirt or mated a sock without sitting in front of the TV. In the past, these chores, while frequent, were not not really a burden to me. I was able to be entertained while I worked. Now I struggle through this tedious chore.
I have tried listening to books on CD and that has helped some. But I still long to sit on the couch and fold or sort while I watch a movie. I used to plan my day around this. "I will fold that load at 2:00 when this show come on" or "I want to watch this movie. I will wait until that load is dry so I can fold while I watch." Now I just put it off as long as I can.
These two changes alone have been a cold-water shock. I have realized just how deeply I was addicted. I can see how entwined into my life this creature really was. I suddenly want to rid myself and my family of all the worldly influences in our lives. I am trying not to overreact. At the same time, I keep thinking of the slow, slight methods of Satan. 2 Nephi give a few examples; "others will he pacify, and lull them away into carnal security...and leadeth them away carefully down to hell."(28:21) "he leadeth them by the neck with a flaxen cord, until he bindeth them with his strong cords forever." (26:22) I also can't help but think of the counsel of President James E. Faust who said "He can have no power over us unless we permit it." Is that what I have done? Have I permitted Satan to enter our home through his subtle means and lead us away from God? Have I given him power over me? I think I can only answer yes.
In a less menacing way, I feel like those people in Wall-e. I realize instead of living I have been letting time pass. I have forgotten many of the things that bring me happiness in place of things that bring pleasure...mindless, meaningless pleasure. And like any drug, I need a bigger dose to get my fix the next time.
I am still recovering form this addiction. I know that I could fall off the wagon if I am not careful. I know that I could easily allow this seemingly benign object to become the major influence in my life again. I know it isn't the only danger either.
I challenge you to take a look at your life and see if there is something like this in your life. Try giving it up for a while and see what happens. I warn you it might be hard and even humbling. Sometimes it takes a dose of nasty medicine to realize how sick we really were.
Sunday, July 17, 2011
OPPORTUNITY
by: Edward Rowland Sill
This I beheld, or dreamed it in a dream:--
There spread a cloud of dust along a plain;
And underneath the cloud, or in it, raged
A furious battle, and men yelled, and swords
Shocked upon swords and shields. A prince's banner
Wavered, then staggered backward, hemmed by foes.
A craven hung along the battle's edge,
And thought, "Had I a sword of keener steel--
That blue blade that the king's son bears, -- but this
Blunt thing--!" he snapped and flung it from his hand,
And lowering crept away and left the field.
Then came the king's son, wounded, sore bestead,
And weaponless, and saw the broken sword,
Hilt-buried in the dry and trodden sand,
And ran and snatched it, and with battle shout
Lifted afresh he hewed his enemy down,
And saved a great cause that heroic day.
Wednesday, June 29, 2011
The Shepherdess
By Alice Meynell
She walks-the lady of my delight-
A shepherdess of sheep.
Her flocks are thoughts. She keeps them white;
She keeps them from the steep;
She feeds them on the fragrant height,
And folds them in for sleep.
She roams maternal hills and bright,
Dark valleys safe and deep.
Into that tender breast at night
The chastest stars may peep.
She walks-the lady of my delight-
A shepherdess of sheep.
She holds her little thoughts in sight,
Though gay they run and leap.
She is so circumspect and right;
She has her soul to keep.
She walks-the lady of my delight-
A shepherdess of sheep.
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