Life Is A Battlefield

Life is a battlefield. (Doesn't that sound like a Pat Benatar song?) Seriously, though, I sometimes feel like I have spent my day fighting an unseen enemy, dropping into bed exhausted, only to wake up and do it all over again the next morning. Too dramatic? I think not.

During my first year of early-morning seminary, we studied the Book of Mormon. Our teacher got really excited about the so-called war chapters. He kept telling us that we were preparing for our own battles. He even went so far as to print T-shirts that said "Statesville Pre-Battle School" for us to wear as a seminary class. It felt a little much at the time but not exactly wrong either.

More than 20 years later, I see it. I see the war between good and evil raging around me. We have been warned for centuries that this day would come. Were we prepared?

It seems that some of these evils are so subtle, so unassuming, that they sneak up on us. We turn around and there they are, ready to strike.

I was feeling burdened by these thoughts last fall. I was feeling anxious about sending my children out into that battlefield. I wanted to keep them home, safe and hidden from the horrors of "war". Yet I struggled. How could they be a force for good if they were locked away in our fortress? How could we possibly defeat the enemy if we didn't go out to meet it?

This is where my mind was during Stake Conference in September 2013. The closing speaker was President Micheal Hamilton. He started talking about the rescue at Dunkirk. Suddenly, my mind was not on his talk but my own concerns for my children. My thoughts were filled with images and ideas as though they were being poured into me. Here is what I wrote in my notes:

We get injured and dirty in the fight against evil but we are on the winning side. We will heal, we will be clean again but we must fight. We can't hide in our pristine caves in the hopes of remaining unharmed and undamaged.

I kept remembering the Stripling Warriors. They were young men who chose to help defend their homes and freedoms. After one difficult battle, we learn

...there were two hundred, out of my two thousand and sixty, who had fainted because of the loss of blood; nevertheless, according to the goodness of God, and to our great astonishment, and also the joy of our whole army, there was not one soul of them who did perish; yea, and neither was there one soul among them who had not received many wounds. Alma 57:25 (emphasis added)

All were wounded but none were lost. I felt some-what reassured but I was still struggling with my fears and shortcomings. How could I ensure that my children would be able to survive this war? Another scripture came to mind.

...we talk of Christ, we rejoice in Christ, we preach of Christ, we prophesy of Christ, and we write according to our prophecies, that our children may know to what source they may look for a remission of their sins. 2 Nephi 25:26 (emphasis added)

That was it. The solution to my problem was already in place. I felt peace. Still a little afraid but no longer overwhelmed.

I have thought of this experience often in the past year. This month, the Ensign included an article about protecting our children against pornography. The first few paragraphs were so close to my experience that I had chills!

This past weekend we had Stake Conference again. In his closing remarks, President Hamilton said "Filth splashes on all of us. He doesn't care how pretty it is as long as we get back to him."

I used to think that if we were keeping the commandments, trying our best to do what is right, we would be safe from the spiritual dangers of this world. Now I know better. There may have been a time when it was easier to avoid the splash of filth. Not now, not today as we are preparing for the second coming of Christ. 

But that is no reason to loose hope. Our Heavenly Father knew these days would come. He knew what trials we would face. He prepared a way for us to overcome them. Through the Atonement of Jesus Christ we can all be cleaned and cured from every injury. Because of Him, there is no need to fear.

We Are Not Meant To Be Alone

 A few months ago I attended a Stake Relief Society Meeting. I almost didn't go. I had heard the announcements and received a little flier with some very basic information but that was it. I thought that since I was still pretty new to the area and I didn't really know many people I wouldn't get much out of it.

I. was. SO. wrong!

The theme was "Dancing in the Rain". The gym was beautifully decorated. White balloons were hanging from fishing line strung across the room, giving the appearance of raindrops. Beautiful open umbrellas lined the stage or hung around the edges of the room. There was soft lighting.

The program was a combination of music, speakers and a narration of quotes connecting it all. I never realized how often the rain analogy is used in songs, scriptures, quotes, and stories! The program seemed to touch on every possible aspect of that analogy.

During one of the talks, the speaker described all the things she had been feeling; discouraged, overwhelmed, lonely. She started to cry a little. An elderly sister was sitting in the front row. She walked up to the younger woman and stood behind her with her hand on her shoulder. The speaker composed herself and continued speaking with this sweet ladies hand on her shoulder the whole time.

This episode illustrated the message of the whole evening; we are not alone.

We each struggle.

We suffer.

We feel lonely.

We feel overwhelmed.

We feel discouraged.

We feel tempted.

We are challenged.

We are tested.

We are blessed.

I know, I KNOW, it feels like you are the only person who has ever been___________.

Or gone through _____________. 

It feels like no one could possibly understand.

But it's not true.

I know you have heard many, many times that the Savior is always there for you and knows what you are going through. That is true. But sometimes it feels too...cliche? Distant? Whatever it is, it isn't always enough. At least for me.

This is why the meeting was so important, especially the little old lady supporting the younger woman. It reminded me that we really are not alone. All around us are people who have struggled. Maybe not everyone is willing to help us but many are.

Sometimes I think that older people don't know what I am going through. I make excuses to ignore their advice, not because it is bad but because they are right. Instead of commiserating with me they give me perspective. Who wants that! (just kidding!)

They also give me hope. If they can get through it so can I!

When I was in college I often heard the phrase "God has no hands but ours." I thought it was kind of a wierd image at the time. Now I understand it.

When we reach out to one another, we are acting as the Savior would act and blessing others as he would bless them.

"A new commandment I give unto you,

That ye love one another;

as I have loved you, that ye also love one another. 

By this shall all men know that ye are my disciples,

if ye have love one to another."

John 13:34

Lessons From The Move; Part 2

We prayed about this move. We wanted to know that it was the right thing, even though we have little control over when the Army says "Go".

We got our answer. We the answer was not just "yeah, sure, whatever" but a strong and powerful "YES!"

So why did it take 4 months to get into a house?

For one thing, even though we were clear on the big picture, we were still fuzzy on the details. Like whether we should buy or rent or live on Post. Try as we might, we were still questioning which of those was right up until the day we closed. Really.

We were also a little unclear about the where. We had done plenty of research about the schools, the wards, the housing market, etc. We knew what we wanted and what we could afford. We even found several houses that met all of our criteria.

One after another slipped through our fingers.

When something like this happens, the first reaction is to question yourself. "Did we do something wrong?"
"Did we misunderstand?"

There is a mentality that if you pray and get an answer then everything will go smoothly. I don't know why we think that. ALL evidence is to the contrary.

One example that became very meaningful to me was the story of Lehi's journey to the Promised Land.  Lehi was told to take his family into the desert. He had to send his sons back twice. We could ask "Why didn't they plan better before they left so they didn't have to return?" But think of all the lessons and growth they would have missed if that had not happened.

Because of those return trips, Nephi learned exactly why they needed the Plates of Brass. (1 Nephi 4:13-16) Sariah's faith in her husband's vision was strengthened. (1 Nephi 5:8) Zoram was spared from the destruction of Jerusalem. (1 Nephi 4:34-35)

Throughout this story we see that both the wicked and the righteous suffered but their perspectives were very different. (1 Nephi 16) Nephi broke his bow, even though he had been obedient. Everyone was hungry and tired from their journey. 1 Nephi 17:1-4 gives more insight into what they all suffered during this time. 

1 And it came to pass that we did again take our journey in the wilderness; and we did travel nearly eastward from that time forth. And we did travel and wade through much affliction in the wilderness; and our women did bear children in the wilderness.


2 And so great were the blessings of the Lord upon us, that while we did live upon raw meat in the wilderness, our women did give plenty of suck for their children, and were strong, yea, even like unto the men; and they began to bear their journeyings without murmurings.

3 And thus we see that the commandments of God must be fulfilled. And if it so be that the children of men keep the commandments of God he doth nourish them, and strengthen them, and provide means whereby they can accomplish the thing which he has commanded them; wherefore, he did provide means for us while we did sojourn in the wilderness.

4 And we did sojourn for the space of many years, yea, even eight years in the wilderness.

Amazing, isn't it? They were surviving on raw meat and probably little of it, too. Yet they were blessed with strength. Their children were healthy and strong as well.

And did you catch that part at the end? The part that says it took 8 years? 8 years!!! And that was just to reach the ocean. Their total travel time to the Promised Land was 11 years!

I felt fortunate that our family happened to be reading this part of the Book of Mormon this summer. It seemed that each chapter addressed another aspect of our own journey to a new home.

The scriptures are FULL of similar experiences. The Israelites spent 40 years in the wilderness. While there may have been some who were rebellious and in need of hard lessons, there were others who were obedient among them. (Joshua 5:6)

Samuel was not wrong when he ordained Saul and David as kings. Their failings came through their own disobedience, not Samuel's.(1 Samuel 9:17, 1 Samuel 16:12)

 How lonely it must have been for Noah and his family, the only survivors of the cleansing Flood. Their challenges must have been great. (Genesis 7:23)

Abraham was obedient yet he was commanded to sacrifice his son. Even though we know the happy outcome, it must have been a heart-wrenching experience for Abraham in that moment. (Genesis 22)

The early Latter-Day Saints were driven from one place after another. Just when they were feeling settled and able to partake of the blessings of the Temple they were driven from Kirtland and Nauvoo by angry mobs.

Crossing the plains was no romp through a meadow either. Many walked, WALKED over 1000 miles to the Salt Lake Valley. Even in good weather it was hot, dry, barren, and long. Those who left too late in the season also suffered bitter cold, starvation, and loss of loved ones. All faced the threat of wild animals and other hostile forces.

Joseph Smith's entire life is a testament that doing the right thing doesn't lead to temporal comfort. He was beaten, tortured, slandered, hunted. He and his wife lost children. He was imprisoned repeatedly. The Lord's counsel to him in his time of need resonates with us all.

If thou art called to pass through tribulation;...if thou art in perils by land or by sea;...if the billowing surge conspire against thee; if fierce winds become thine enemy; if the heavens gather blackness, and all the elements combine to hedge up the way; and above all, if the very jaws of hell shall gape open the mouth wide after thee, know thou, my son, that all these things shall give thee experience, and shall be for thy good.

The Son of Man hath descended below them all. Art thou greater than he?

Therefore, hold on thy way, and the priesthood shall remain with thee; for their bounds are set, they cannot pass. Thy days are known, and thy years shall not be numbered less; therefore, fear not what man can do, for God shall be with you forever and ever. ( Doctrine and Covenants 122)

Yes, as this passage reminds us, even the Savior suffered. He suffered more than any of us. His life was not a life of comfort and ease. It could have been. He had the power to attain any worldly achievement he desired. Yet he chose to accept the will of our Heavenly Father.

It can be hard, SO hard, to submit to God's will when we know it will cause us pain in the short term. It is a leap of faith. We trust that he knows what he is doing and that whatever happens will be for our good.

Lessons From The Move; Part 1

I have been trying to figure out the best way to share the overwhelming experience we had this summer with moving. I considered trying to piece everything together in a series of chronological events but I just couldn't bring myself to do that.

I realized that I had learned many lessons from this experience. They overlap, sure, but I felt that the lessons would be lost in the story. Still, I need to give a little bit of a framework for everything to make sense.

Here is the beginning...

2012 started off rocky. My husband was nearing the end of a six-month deployment. (Six months instead of twelve because he had a bone graft surgery on his heel and needed to recover first.)


During this deployment, he had asked repeatedly about his future with the unit. Many soldiers were getting orders and the unit was over strength. He was told that he would be staying put. So we prepped our garden, started our oldest son on much-needed allergy shots and made other long-term plans for our family.

He returned home in late February. Within two weeks he was hearing rumors of a PCS (permanent change of station). He started asking around and was told not to worry about it. Orders came for a move to Ft. Eustis, VA. He was still being told not to worry about it, everything was under control.

We started making plans for a move anyway.

By early April it was clear that we were really moving...and SOON! Our report date was July 9 so we had just a few months to either sell or rent our house, pack our stuff, drive hundreds of miles, and find a new home.

We went to the temple, seeking guidance and comfort. We were both feeling overwhelmed and a bit stunned by this sudden change. At that time, I was the choir director at church and we had been working on "The Lord Is My Shepard". In the temple, this hymn kept repeating through my mind. I felt peaceful and reassured that this move was the Lord's will. Armed with that assurance, we set to work.

After consulting with some trusted friends in the business, it became clear that our best option was to rent. We set to working getting the house ready. We have some artistic children who have an uncanny ability to only use permanent materials in their work. (We can't say enough good things about the "paint and primer in one" paint we bought at Lowe's! It covered black permanent marker in ONE COAT!!!!) Our walls were tan. "Tumbleweed" to be specific, with white doors and trim.

We taped and painted and re-taped and painted again. The white didn't quite match so we repainted entire doors to make sure everything looked clean and fresh. We wore ourselves out!!

Don't forget that we were also getting rid of all kinds of junk that we didn't need and sorting things out so it could be packed and unpacked easily. We had been through this kind of thing before and we wanted to be prepared.

My husband and a good friend also pulled up the living room carpet, repaired the loose sub-flooring, and put down wood laminate flooring in the living room and hall.

We did whatever repairs we could prior to the movers coming, including the floor. They packed us up May 29 and 30. The very next day we were painting like crazy! By the way, the kids were out of school by this time. :)

Honestly, it is a blur. But somehow we got everything done.

Our house officially went on the rental market June 7th. We got a call that day from the property manager that someone wanted to look at the house the next day. One look and they wanted it. We loaded up the sleeping bags and suitcases and headed East.

We were planning to spend a week or two with my parents in North Carolina. We felt that we needed to get started on house hunting ASAP so we left the kids in NC and drove through the night to Virginia. It was Sunday and we wanted to go to church and see what we could learn about the area. We took 2 of the little kids with us since we thought they would be the most troublesome.

Things seemed to go well. We met a realtor at church and he showed us some houses we had looked at online. We even found one that met our criteria.

We returned to North Carolina after a few days, optimistic about resolving the housing issue in just a few days.

A few dozen houses and 4 months later we finally closed on a house and were able to move in.

Lessons From The Move; Part 2, coming soon!

Whose Light Is It, Anyway?

My first real job was at a department store in my little hometown. I lived on one side of town and the store was on the other. Most of the time I worked days but once in a while I had to take the evening shift.

Now, there were several ways to get home from this part of town. I usually took the interstate. It was fast and impersonal but did the job. I could take the longer, more circuitous route through the country back roads. I could also drive the leisurely route through our tiny downtown.

One night, as I left work, I decided to take this calm, quiet, downtown path home. I drove down the well-lit streets at a creeping 30 miles per hour. There were almost no other cars on the road. I reminisced about my childhood in the these quiet streets, noting the landmarks of my personal history and that of my family.

After several minutes, I turned away from the lights of town onto the state highway leading to my home. I  found myself in almost complete darkness! Even the instrument panel was dark! I could not see where I was going at all!

I frantically tried to figure out what had happened. Had the lights burned out? Was there something wrong with the battery? Had I lost power to the car?

I reached for the light switch, thinking I would turn them off and back on, only to discover that I had not turned on the lights in the first place!

I had been driving for almost 10 minutes with NO LIGHTS!!!  NONE! Well, no lights of my own, anyway.

I realized I had been guided by the bright light of the streetlamps and other exterior lights along the city streets. When I left those lights, I had none of my own to lead me home.

This was a very sobering experience. I had often heard the counsel to "have your own light", meaning to have your own testimony of the Gospel. I felt I had done that, or at least I was working on it. But this experience suggested something deeper to me.

There might be times in my life when my own light is not urgently necessary to see the way. The path is clearly marked and there is plenty of light. If I neglect my own light during these times, I will not be ready when a sudden turn in the road leads me to a less-travelled path.

In the years following this experience, I have found myself on many unfamiliar roads. At times, I continued along without concern, my light was bright and the course well lit. At other times I have found myself unprepared for the darkness in which I suddenly found myself. The dimness of my own light and lack of light from other sources made that part of the journey difficult.

During some of these moments I have thought "I wish I was somewhere with more light." Or "I wish the people around me had brighter light to make this easier." My pride would not allow me to admit that if my own light had been stronger I would not be struggling as much.

One more lesson came from this experience. No matter how bright the headlights or lights of the city around me, they pale in comparison to the light of the sun. Since that night, I have marveled many times at the contrast between day and night as I drive that familiar road home. During the day I can make the turns quickly and without a conscious thought. That dark night, I would not have been able to continue without using my own lights. I might have made it but the trip would have been slow and harrowing.

I wish I could say I have learned my lesson but I haven't. I still find myself unprepared for some of the darker roads of life. It takes constant work and attention. Sometimes I am distracted my other cares and don't realize just how dark it is becoming. But I have learned that it's never too late to turn on the lights and find your way home!

Ignorance Is NOT Bliss...Or Is It?

Deployments are hard. They are stressful and put random strains on you that you don't expect. There is also a Murphy's Law that if something can go wrong it will happen during a deployment.


Now, I don't really put much stock in such superstitions. I think stuff will happen no matter what. It is just more upsetting when you are shouldering the burdens alone.

We are now about 2 months into this relatively short deployment. And it is holiday season. The kids and I wanted a break. We discussed it and decided to spend Thanksgiving with my family in North Carolina. My husband was not thrilled about this idea. We discussed it. A lot. Sometimes after we talked I had such a feeling of foreboding that I didn't even want to leave the house! The decision was still unmade the morning we planned to leave. I mean, we had packed and stopped the mail and newspaper and done everything as if we were going but I wasn't going anywhere until I was sure of what to do and I just wasn't.

I had prayed about it a few times and was still coming up blank. I even wondered if I was being like Joseph Smith and the 116 lost pages, asking over and over when the answer was no. But I hadn't really gotten a no either.

So, that morning, I gathered the kids together and discussed the situation. I explained that there was going to be some possible bad weather. I explained that one of them had been sick just the day before and the others might get sick on the trip if it was going around like it does in big families. I told them we could go for Christmas instead. We all wanted to go now. We all wanted to spend Christmas in our own home. So we prayed again.

I remember at some point that morning pleading for assurance that either decision was best. I was so torn and I really needed an answer either way. I silently asked if we would be safe. Suddenly I had the assurance I was seeking. Yes, we would be safe.

That was good enough for me. We loaded up the care and headed out. It rained for the first half of the trip. Normally I hate driving in rain. I hate being a passenger in heavy rain! But this time I was fine. I was cheerful. I drove right through the storm without feeling stressed out at all. We got beyond the storm and headed on to my parents house.

We enjoyed a wonderful Thanksgiving with cousins and grandparents, aunts and uncles. I got to hold one of the newest members of the family. All the kids played really well the whole time. I talked a lot with my dad and my brother who had flown in from Utah. My grandmother had the great-granddaughters over for a sleepover, just like when I was a kid and spent the night with my cousins there. And on the other side of the family all 20 of the great-grandchildren were together for the first time and were able to take a picture together with their great-grandmother. My oldest son played football with his second cousins and had a great time. We were treated to a mini concert by my cousin's daughter on her tiny cello and her dad let all the little kids try it out (My kids LOVED it!!!) I spent some time with my mom and sister-in-law shopping on Black Friday. And I came home with lots of Christmas presents to go under our tree!

I had planned to drive home on Monday. The extended forecast had shown rain on Monday and Tuesday so I considered leaving Sunday. When my youngest woke up Saturday with an eye infection I considered it again. Honestly, I wasn’t quite ready to go back to real life. There was now a slow-moving winter storm coming right across our path home. If I waited it out we wouldn't leave until Wednesday or Thursday. I decided to go on Monday as planned. I felt uncertain about what to do but I didn't know why. I did think of asking my dad to check out the Suburban for me but I felt kind of silly. We had done a lot of work to it and there was nothing to suggest that anything was wrong. Well, I had to add a gallon of coolant on the way there so I had been keeping an eye on that. I even checked it before I left and bought 2 gallons to keep with me just in case but it was fine.

The first part of the trip was great we had pretty good weather and made good time to Knoxville, TN. That is about half way for us. We stopped for lunch at McDonalds and I let the kids play for about an hour. We filled up the tank and started back on I-40. At which point I couldn't go above 50mph and the RPM's shot up to 5!!! I didn’t know what was wrong so I pulled over and checked for a flat tired or parking brake but everything looked okay. I went on to the next exit and got off. We drove around for a few minutes looking for a place to park so I could use the GPS to find a mechanic. I saw a lube shop and stopped there. The man was VERY nice and said they could take a look and either fix it or tell us where to take it.

First, they found a bad leak in the transmission line. Apparently it had been cut and sliced with rubber hose which was not good enough. They replaced it with a metal pipe and assured me that it would last for a while. But after adding 5 quarts of fluid it still wouldn't shift into third gear. They said the upper gears were bad and I should put it in2nd gear to drive. "Don't go above 45 and you should be fine." They suggested the interstate because it would be the straightest, shortest route and limit more wear on the gears.

We had 225 miles to go. It was raining pretty hard. 45 isn't bad in those conditions. We drove about 2 hours before it was dark and clear... and 70 mph. We were stopped by a state trooper. He wasn't very helpful but said that if I got off at the next exit I could take a highway that ran parallel to the interstate “for a while". We crawled along to the exit and got something to eat. Well, the kids ate. I was too upset to eat. I bought a map (since GPS can be really stupid!) and took that highway to the next town, about 20 miles. The clerk that sold me the map said there was nothing after that. (He turned out to be right!)

We got a hotel in Cookesville. I didn't want to try the unfamiliar roads at night, in bad weather with a flood watch out. I couldn't risk being stuck in the middle of nowhere with 7 kids. I didn't sleep well. But we got a free breakfast and I was able to email my husband. (Did I mention he's deployed?) Until this point I had considered getting it fixed, even if we had to stay a few days. That didn't quite seem like the best idea (think of keeping 7 kids entertained without a car... and did I mention the winter storm? No exactly walking weather!) I did a quick search for "rebuild transmission cost" and saw that the top few results were around 2000-2500.

Okay, never mind. I guess we will keep going. I prayed a lot that morning. I felt like we should stop by the dealership that the GPS had shown. I talked to the guy about cost, time, and how to get home in 2nd gear. He basically confirmed everything I already knew but at least that was reassuring. He and another guy said the highway I had taken to get there would go all the way to Nashville and I should have no trouble getting home if I took it slow. I also asked about a 9 passenger vehicle, just in case. The guy made some suggestions but didn't have one. I decided to keep going. Before I even got out of town my husband called. He made more suggestion, mainly to go slow (about 35) and add some Transmedic to protect what was left of the transmission. I went right back to the place across from the dealer and the guys there put some stuff in it for me.

We drove down this quiet, scenic country road for hours. I tried to stay around 30 mph. I did NOT want to ruin that gear! We made slow and steady progress. We stopped for lunch at another McDonalds and the kids played for a while. I bought more maps and called a few people from our ward to make sure I was looking at the right roads. By then I was sure of what I was doing and where I was going. My only anxiety was whether the transmission would last until we got home.

Well, it did. We got home after driving for about 7 hours at 30 miles per hour. And the kids were ready to kill each other! (Did I mention I didn't bring a DVD player and I don't have a smart phone? We were really low-tech on this trip!)

Here are some things I learned from this:

I learned that the tender mercies of the Lord are indeed a "multitude". We were able to find good people to help us along the way. We were able to feed ourselves. We were able to travel through a very beautiful area and enjoy it because we weren't racing through it. We had some good talks and prayed together and sang Christmas songs and Primary songs. There was no quick fix. We all had to find better ways to do things. We had to put our personal comforts aside to accommodate the needs of others. We had to really look at each other and acknowledge each other. Let me tell you, it was HARD!!! I have felt for a long time that we are too selfish. Now I see that we really do need to work on that.

At one point I decided to tell some stories. The first one I picked was "The Christmas Oranges". I sobbed through the whole thing! I had been feeling really guilty about this car issue. I don't like to make mistakes. And I am not very forgiving of myself. I imagined that I was little girl, crying into my pillow thinking "I don't deserve an orange anyway!!" And yet there are always people who are very willing to make sacrifices to make it better. Especially the Savior.

And that isn't all! When I got home I had an email that told a similar story of overlooking the flaws of others. I had another with a video clip by Elder Russell M. Nelson about fear and faith. AND a friend of ours was planning to come till the garden while we were gone. I came home to trimmed bushed, racked flower beds, cut grass including the trimming, and beautifully tilled garden! It looked so great even the kids noticed!

I'm pretty sure this isn't the end of this lesson. I still feel really uncertain about the immediate future. But I have a sure hope that it will all work out.

On our way home we saw a rainbow across the road. As we drove the rainbow moved with us. Here are the pictures taken by my 10 year old daughter. You can see a double rainbow in some of the pictures. And, yes, it was raining at the time! (Oh, yeah, that is just a big stick smudge in the middle that I can't get off. Oh, well!)

Superpowers 101: Bridge Building

September 24, 2011 was the General Relief Society Meeting of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. It was a wonderful meeting. Our local stake held an activity prior to the broadcast with light refreshments and a kind of show-and-tell from each ward Relief Society in the Stake. It was wonderful to see the service each group offers to the sisters in their ward and community.


I have attended many of these broadcasts. I have enjoyed the fellowship of Relief Society sisters from several countries and many states in the US. I have developed life-changing friendships with women of many different ages and family structures; single, married, grandmothers, great-grandmothers, childless, adoptive mothers, mothers with any number of children of every age. I have benefited richly from this fellowship. And I owe it all to Relief Society.

I was thinking all of this as I sat with sisters from my ward, munching treats and gabbing about random stuff. It felt good. Really good. I have always believed that no matter where in the world I go, if there is a Relief Society I will be home. What an amazing gift our Heavenly Father has given us! I really don't feel deserving!

(Now, hopefully you are all feeling this cozy, happy, comfort that I felt that night. You are reflecting on your own blessings from Relief Society.)

Just before we went into the chapel for the broadcast, our stake Young Women's President stood up. She shared her concerns for the young women of the stake. She pleaded with us to open our arms and hearts to them so they would not be turned off by the "old ladies" in Relief Society. She reminded us of the terrible losses during the single years when the young women are no longer "Young Women" but don't feel like they have a place in Relief Society either.

I honestly didn't hear most of the broadcast. I was so preoccupied with this issue. I know it is a serious one. It is not limited to our little corner of the world.

I thought about my own transition. It didn't seem so bad. Why?

Well, for one thing, when I was a teenager my mom was the Relief Society President in our ward so I got pretty familiar with the program. That year there was a request for us to do an on-going service project. Our ward made over 80 quilts for the local homeless shelter. The Young Women were invited to many Relief Society meetings to help tie quilts. While they did their "old lady" stuff we worked and talked. Because teenage girls can never talk enough, right?

After my mother was released our Young Women's President was called as the new Relief Society President. She had 2 daughters who were close to my age. I know that the Young Women of our ward were important to her. When my fellow Laurels and I were nearing graduation we were invited to Relief Society activities and there was even a special ceremony to welcome us. The details are a bit hazy but I remember being given a flower and thinking that it was really sweet of the RS Presidency to go to so much trouble. I guess they had the same concerns all those years ago.

Another factor that made my transition easy was the fellowship of the sisters in our ward. They were kind and friendly to the Young Women. I knew most of them and they were so eager to welcome me. I had my mother, grandmother, aunt, my cousin's wife, not to mention more distant relatives (yes, I came from one of "those" families!). We would joke and laugh and share gum or candies down the row. I felt I had joined some sort of club or... women's society...which I had. And they LOVED new members!

I also went to college in Utah. (That's kind of cheating, I know) I attended a student ward with students teaching and leading and doing Visiting Teaching. It was like playing "old lady". It wasn't that serious. Except that there were some girls in our ward with real problems. I discovered that while I was worried about which boy might like me and whether or not my hair was dumb, other girls my age were being raped, molested, and otherwise abused by boyfriends, neighbors and even family members. There were eating disorders and even substance abuse. Some were at BYU in the hopes that they could break out of their messed up worlds. For them, it was like going to a spiritual rehab clinic.

For me, it was like a crash course in how to put what I had learned into practice. For all the fake cheeriness that goes on in the church there is also suffering. Learning this lesson helped me grow up. Relief Society is not about knitting or baking. It isn't treat bags and scrapbooking. It is offering support to the suffering and comforting the needy. Befriending the lonely. It is lifting the fallen, strengthening, preparing, guiding, loving. It is WORK!!! And it is NOT for the faint of heart!

If we think Relief Society is for fun, for entertainment, for leisure, for friendship, we don't get it. Oh, sure. Relief Society provides all of that. But that isn't the true purpose. Relief Society is SO much more!

That is the message we need to send to our Young Women. And maybe ourselves. Service, kindness, love, these are not limited by age or marital status. They are not the interests of "old ladies" alone but all of Heavenly Father's children. With these stones in place, the bridge to Relief Society is easily passable.

How was your transition from Young Women to Relief Society?

A Message To All The Prodigals

I keep having versions of this conversation so I thought I would share it here. I am suprised that I am sometimes so passionately angry by the comments people make that I have actually yelled at them!  It isn't that I am angry with the person. I am angry with the lies they are believing and that they are letting Satan get to them.


"I have made a lot of mistakes. I don't see how Heavenly Father can ever forgive me."

"THAT IS A LIE!!!!!!! Don't believe it! When you start thinking that way, plug your ears and sing really loud and say  'I'm not listening! I can't hear you!'

Unless you have become a serial killer, which I doubt, you can repent. Completely. Satan tells us that we are lost and worthless and that Heavenly Father couldn't possibly love us and forgive us after what we have done. HE IS A LIAR!!!! HE WANTS US TO BE MISERABLE!!!!!

Jesus loves us, no matter what we have done. He has suffered for our sins so that we can repent. EVERYONE makes mistakes and not one of us is worthy without the Savior. It is hard to admit your mistakes and change but it can be done. And it is so worth it. The blessings that are promised to us are so amazing. The idea that only a few can reach the Celestial Kingdom is another lie. Our Heavenly Father wants each of us to succeed but he won't force us. He is waiting with open arms. All we have to do is reach out and take the help he offers us."


"Easy for you to say! What do you know about it? You've never done anything wrong. You don't need to repent."

"THAT IS ANOTHER LIE! The truth is that we ALL need repentance. Every sin separates us from the Lord. Some sins are obvious while others are more subtle. All require the Savior. Life is not easy for anyone."

I am amazed at the number of times I have gotten shrugs or eye rolls when I make this speech!

It reminds me of the LDS video from the 1990's "The Prodigal Son". It is a modern retelling of the biblical parable. One brother gets into trouble while the other is the "good son" A memorable scene shows this "good" brother complaining about his troublesome brother. He yells at his wife "Nobody ever threw a party for me and I've been the good one!" His wife calmly chastises him, telling him that he needs the Savior just as much as his brother. 

When I saw this for the first time, I related strongly to the "good" brother. I struggled to understand how my friends seemed to get away with doing all kinds of rebellious things. It felt unfair. It has taken a long time to understand that I really am just as much a prodigal as anyone. Maybe more so at times. As the wife in the video explains "One of you is trying to repent and the other isn't" That is the real distinction. Our relationship with our Heavenly Father depends less on our mistakes and more what we do about them.


Elder Jeffery R. Holland gave a wonderful talk in 2002 called "The Other Prodigal".

Understanding Power

Several months ago, my husband and I were watching Raiders Of The Lost Ark. (This is the Indiana Jones film where Nazis want the Ark of the Covenant so they can use the power of God to take over the world. Really.) We have a discussion about how idiotic it was for the Nazis to assume that they would be able to use God's power however they wanted.

When I was kid this movie didn't really strike me as ludicrous. It was just an exciting story about something familiar. Now it does. It isn't that the story is so far fetched, (although it is a little ironic that Hitler would want a Jewish religious symbol.) According to the History Channel (which is 100% accurate and never EVER spins the truth to make it more interesting) Hitler really did try to acquire relics of religious and historical significance.

I guess he wanted to gain allegiance from various groups by possessing items they held as sacred. You know, "Look, I have the Ark of the Covenant. That means God approves of me as the leader of the world." It was likely more about manipulating people than supernatural power. Or was it? I guess we will never really know.

As I said, what really struck me about the movie was the total misunderstanding of God and his power. I have wondered if others have the same attitude about such objects. Let's use the movie as our example.

The Nazis in the movie seem to think that they can harness this power and use it to destroy their enemies. They site examples of the Israelites defeating relatively superior armies with the help of the Ark and reason that it will do the same for them.

"It". As in the Ark of the Covenant itself. Not God.

What a strange and sad view of the world! How odd that they might put faith in an object rumored to possess power but not in the being said to have put it there.

Many people, even religious people, share this view, at least in theory. There seems to be a separation between God and His power on earth as if He left some powerful items here while He went to do more important things. There also seems to be no acknowledgement of worthiness.

To the Latter-Day Saints, God's power is referred to as priesthood. D&C 121:36-37 says

That the rights of the priesthood are inseparably connected with the powers of heaven, and that the powers of heaven cannot be controlled nor handled only upon the principles of righteousness. That they may be conferred upon us, it is true; but when we undertake to cover our sins, or to gratify our pride, our vain ambition, or to exercise control or dominion or compulsion upon the souls of the children of men, in any degree of unrighteousness, behold, the heavens withdraw themselves; the Spirit of the Lord is grieved; and when it is withdrawn, Amen to the priesthood or the authority of that man. (emphasis added)

This chapter explains further the effects of power, that man tends to get crazy when he gets a little authority. It also sets out proper guidelines for using the priesthood, not to overcome and control but to teach and persuade and guide.

With this guidance on the use of God's power, the idea that Nazis could have used it to take over the world is laughable. It is obvious that there was no threat of success in that venture.

I know that their are real dangers in the world. The Nazis of  World War II caused plenty of damage and were a serious threat to peace and freedom. I won't speculate on the possible reasons for their successes. But there is real power in this world. God's power. If we know what it is and how it is used, we will not be deceived.

5 for Friday: the Law of Chastity

This week I am going with a theme: The Law of Chastity.


For centuries there was a basic, accepted belief that sexual activity was to be restricted to a man and woman who were legally married. While there were always those who ignored this law, I believe most people lived this way. There was little reason not to. No TV or Internet or music to tempt you away from your commitments. That was simply life and people lived it.

At some point in the not-so-distant past, Society decided this law was stupid. "They" collectively wadded it up, threw it in the mud, stomped on it for a while and then spit on it for good measure.

"Ha, HA! Take that you antiquated, restrictive law that sucks the fun out of everything we want to do! We are educated and we know better than to follow some stuffy old rules. We are going to go out and make the world way cooler and totally more funner! So there!!"

Now that some time has passed, the folly of this choice is glaringly obvious. Governments and civic groups scramble to fix the problems without reinstating this simple law and running the risk of being called horrible names like "lame" and "old-fashioned".

My 5 for Friday will be 5 problems that are the direct result of breaking the Law of Chastity. I must admit that I am continually shocked by how screwed up things have become in such a few short years!

1. Unplanned Pregnancies. This applies specifically to those born to unmarried parents. Now, you might be thinking of committed couples who never got around to getting married or those crazy teenagers who made one mistake. While these situations may be breaking the Law of Chastity, they are not even close to the biggest problems in this area.

For example: I know a woman who has 2 children by 2 different men. She was not married to either man. Each man has at least one child by another woman. One man wants nothing to do with any of his children. The mothers are spending time together so their kids can "get to know their brothers and sisters". The children are naturally confused about their relationship with one another, especially confused that their brother's brother is not their brother because he has a different father. Amazingly, none of the adults see anything wrong with this situation!

2. Artificial Insemination. This might seem like a way around the Law of Chastity. You can have a baby without being married of even having sex! But the consequences are shocking. Children conceived this way have no idea who their fathers are. They might marry their half sibling and not even know! There are cases of men "fathering" DOZENS!!! of children. Now our government is try to regulate this process because "Ooops! We didn't think about the long term consequences." There is talk of legal rights of "donor dads", privacy issues, medical histories, etc. I can't imagine how those pedigree charts look! And who would they be sealed to if the opportunity arose?

3. Abortion. This is not exactly news anymore. And that’s the problem. In one generation abortion has gone from being a controversial issue to being widely accepted and even encouraged. It is no longer the desperate attempt of a woman who made a mistake. Abortion is such an acceptable form of birth control that it is a routine question when a woman has a positive pregnancy test. "Well, ma'am, your test is positive. You're going to have a baby...if you want to. If you don't, I can make you an appointment right now to take care of that." Like a baby is just an annoying parasite!

4. Disease. Sexually transmitted diseases have been around for a long time but never in the numbers we see today. There are the innocent children who are infected and potentially contagious in certain situations. Thanks to privacy laws teacher and parents don’t know who might be infected and therefore have extensive procedures to insure a certain degree of safety. Medical professionals try hard to fight those diseases, many of which are incurable. There are drug treatments, vaccines, and preventative steps taught in schools and hospitals. Those encouraging abstinence are openly mocked. Isn't it better to stay well than to take such a potentially life-threatening risk? How much suffering would be eliminated if people kept the Law of Chastity?

5. Divorce. Divorce is increasingly common. It is heartbreaking to see families torn apart. The reasons for divorce are varied but breaking the Law of Chastity is a common cause. Many people still believe that you should be faithful to your spouse even if they did not abstain before marriage. So why is it so hard? My theory is, simply, habit. In a world where promiscuity is not only expected but encouraged, many young people have sex simply to fit in. There is no commitment, no self-control. They learn to give in to their urges and act on impulse. They get married, fully intending to be faithful. Then those urges arise. They fall back into the patterns of their youth, acting on impulse and justifying their actions just as they did before. They did not learn proper skills for dealing with their sexual feeling and are unprepared to deal with them when they arise again.

The answers to life’s problems are often simple. There is a reason for the commandments we have been given. Breaking the Laws of God leads to chaos, confusion, and suffering. I guess sometimes we have to learn things the hard way!

I know that obedience is difficult. I also know that our Heavenly Father loves us and wants us to be happy. He has given us laws and commandments for a reason. Who would have imagined the disastrous consequences of breaking this law? I certainly wouldn’t have! But our Father knew. He has been constant. He has been patient. He has provided a way to repent when we mess up. As a whole, we cannot fix all the problems we have created by our disobedience. But as individuals we can make personal changes to fix the broken parts of our lives. The government can’t fix it. The UN can’t fix it. Non-Profit groups can’t fix it. Only by turning to the Lord can our society return to the order and peace that comes with obedience.

Superwoman Origins: Part 3, Young Women

Young Women is the name of the program for teenage girls in the LDS church. As a girl between the ages of 12 and 18, we have a class together on Sundays, regular activities once a week, and other special activities like Girl's Camp, Youth Conference, dances and service projects. We also participate in a program called Personal Progress that helps us learn to set and achieve goals. It is a wonderful program and I feel very grateful to have been able to participate. I am sure this program made a very significant contribution to who I am today.

As I thought of writing about the Young Women's program, I found myself drawn to one particular event. I was a 12 year old, fresh out of Primary and completely open to suggestions about my future. A young sister was called to be the Beehive leader. She had a couple of kids and I think she was expecting. She worked full-time and didn't actually come to church very often. She was nice but I didn't really think she was the kind of person who would influence my life. In fact she was released after only a short time and I have no memory of her after that.

One Sunday, she brought a handout to go with the lesson. It said "You have divine attributes! You have the potential to become a Queen in the Celestial Kingdom." The message was handwritten on a little purple card with flowers in the corners.

I took it home and stuck on the mirror in my room. It stayed there for the next 6 years. I saw it every day. Sometimes I read it. Sometimes I just glanced at it and knew what it said. That little purple card was a constant reminder of who I am and who I want to become. I have no doubt that having such a reminder helped me navigate the dangerous waters of adolescence and emerge on the other side in one peice.

I still have that card, tucked away in a box of mementos. I saw it recently when I was trying to declutter. I instantly felt that same sense of importance I felt as a teenager. Not pride or arrogance but a feeling that I had potential and that my Heavenly Father wanted me to do my very best. I realized I hadn't felt that in a while.

I thought of that sweet sister from so long ago. I realized that even now I might think her contribution was insignificant, that she had not done well in her calling and that she had been replaced by someone better. I am sure I have judged many by the same measuring stick. I have learned how wrong that is. I only have vague memories of the person who replaced this sister. I am sure she did a fine job. While her consistency was certainly comforting and encouraging, she didn't make a lasting impression.

Working with the youth, even the Priamry children, can seem like a thankless effort. THe kids roll their eyes, pick at each other, stare into space, fidget, squirm, complain, play, kick, climb, cry and, sometimes smile. Bu we simply can't know what gets through. We might never know the fruits of our labors. This kind of calling requires great faith on our part.

I hope that those who work with the youth of the church never forget the power of their influence. You are adding drops of oil to lamps of testimony in the lives of those children. Each brings them that much closer to the Lord. Don't Ever give up on them!

Why Do You Believe?

"Why do you believe the Book of Mormon is scripture? It's to recent to possibly be scripture. Only a relatively few people accept it so it must be pretty out there. There is no evidence that people traveled to the Americas across the ocean. There is no proof of written languagesdating back to the time the records were supposedly written. There is no correlation between the cities named in the Book of Mormon and those identified in ancient America."

These are questions many may ask. They might site scholarly studies and historical research for reasons why the Book of Mormon can't possibly be true. They will likely use the Bible as evidence that the Book of Mormon can't be true. I have come to find this especially ironic.

Anyone questioning the Book of Mormon by using the Bible should ask themselves a few questions.

Superpowers 101: Rescuing The Stranded

I have always had a soft spot for missionary work. It is thrilling to think of sharing the many blessing that come with membership in the true church. But, sadly, I am a big chicken. Once upon a time I was zealous, even pushy, about telling people about the church. It didn't produce much fruit. Well, none really. Then I got distracted by life and became a bit of a recluse when it came to the gospel. As an adult, I didn't have to interact with non-members much. It isn't like high school where you don't have a choice. I don't work outside the home either so I didn't have to speak to anyone who wasn't LDS if I didn't want to. And I didn't.


I realized a few years ago that I needed to make some changes in this area of my life. It has been hard. I still feel a little nervous participating in non-church activities. I used to feel panic and dread so I guess nervous is an improvement.

Being around non-members has been humbling for me. I have asked myself more than once "What can I offer them that they don't already have?" Now, I know my LDS readers will instantly think of a dozen answers to that question but how would I say that to a non-member? We tend to attract people with activities and friendship. What if they already have that? What makes our friendship better than the ones they already have?

I have been surprised by the answer I have gotten as I pondered this problem. The Spirit has guided me from one thought to another over the past several months. I was sharing my experience with an LDS friend and suggested she join me in going to a non-church activity. She said, "I don't really need that. Relief Society is enough for me."

Now, I might have said that myself a few years ago. I fully understand that sentiment and I don't mean to sound critical of her or that comment. At that same time, I felt a rush of uncomfortable, upset feelings when she said that. I was surprised and I didn't really understand why I was feeling that way. I felt disturbed by my feelings.

I though "Why isn't Relief Society enough for me?" I felt disappointed in myself, as if I have rejected the gospel by seeking outside friendships and support. I spent several days reflecting on this. I realized that wasn't really true but I continued to wonder why I felt so compelled to associate with non-members.

I reflected again on the wonderful examples of faithful women I have come to know. They have motivated me to do better. I have become spoiled in the gospel. I really haven't had to work very hard and I have become lazier in my old age.

I was still thinking about this a few days ago when a story came forcefully into my mind. It is the story of the Willie and Martin Handcart Companies. They were stranded in the snow on their way to Salt Lake City. The people were dying. Word reached President Brigham Young during General Conference. He immediately stood and said

“I will now give this people the subject and the text for the Elders who may speak to-day and during the conference, it is this, on the 5th day of October, 1856, many of our brethren and sisters are on the plains with hand-carts, and probably many are now 700 miles from this place, and they must be brought here, we must send assistance to them. The text will be, ‘to get them here.’ I want the brethren who may speak to understand that their text is the people on the plains, and the subject matter for this community is to send for them and bring them in before the winter sets in. …

“I shall call upon the Bishops this day, I shall not wait until to-morrow, nor until [the] next day, for 60 good mule teams and 12 or 15 wagons. I do not want to send oxen, I want good horses and mules. They are in this Territory, and we must have them; also 12 tons of flour and 40 good teamsters, … 60 or 65 good spans of mules, or horses, with harness. …

“I will tell you all,” said he, “that your faith, religion, and profession of religion, will never save one soul of you in the celestial kingdom of our God, unless you carry out just such principles as I am now teaching you. Go and bring in those people now on the plains, and attend strictly to those things which we call temporal, or temporal duties, otherwise your faith will be in vain; the preaching you have heard will be in vain to you, and you will sink to hell, unless you attend to the things we tell you” (Deseret News, Oct. 15, 1856, 252). (as quoted by Gordon B. Hinckley, October 2006)

I thought of the circumstances of this event. 700 miles is a long way, even today. It would take time to make preparations and reach those in need. Would it really matter if they had finished the conference? Would it really matter if they waited until the next day? Apparently it would. Every moment was precious to those who were starving and freezing. Their brothers and sisters in Salt Lake were not suffering. They could have continued to live their comfortable lives and left those pioneers to die. It wouldn't make a difference in their lives, would it? President Young did not mince words. Our faith means nothing if we don't exercise it. "Faith without works is dead."(James 2:17)

So, what does this have to do with having non-member friends? Everything! There are many struggling to reach the truth but they are often detained by the many unpredictable challenges of life. They would be here if there was someone to bring them in. They are in need of rescue, maybe even more than those early saints. Who will go out into the cold and dangerous wilderness to find them? It must be us, the faithful members of the church.

In the moment it took for all these thoughts to converge, I heard the words of my friend again. "I have it, I don't need anything else." The powerful response echoed in my mind "They need you."

This isn't the first time I have had the idea that others needed me to be an example and share the blessing of the gospel. I often dismiss this idea as arrogance. Who do I think I am? But I am coming to understand that I have been richly blessed, not because I deserve it, because I am so much better than someone else, but because the Lord has given me a mission and I need to get on with it.

I am still a big chicken. I know I must rely on the Lord to keep from having a panic attack every time I tell someone what church I go to. My hope is that I can get past that and do what the Lord would have me do. I hope that I can go to the rescue of those brothers and sisters in need and bring them safely to the valley.

Superpowers 101: Iron Sharpening

A few years ago, a friend of mine shared this verse with me: "Iron sharpeneth iron; so a man sharpeneth the countenance of his friend." Proverbs 27:17 I think about that phrase from time to time. It is important to note that this friend is not LDS. She is, however, very devoted to her own religion. Over the past few years I have come to realize that her influence in my life has been powerful. Her perspectives have given me new insights and understanding into my own religion. Her devotion has left me feeling ashamed of  my own spiritual laziness. She isn't the only friend who has done this for me.

When I look back at some of the turning points in my testimony growth, I see several members of other faiths. Why? Why are non-LDS playing such a pivotal role in my spiritual growth?

For one thing, Latter-Day Saints don't corner the market on testimony. I have been really humbled to realize how strongly devoted many other Christians are despite their "limited knowledge and understanding". And they are richly blessed for it! No wonder they find Mormons arrogant and insulting when we try to tell them they are wrong!

Superpowers101: Writing

A few days ago I commented on another blog. The author had said that she sometimes had to remind herself that blogs are a show, that they frame the best parts of life and often avoid the boring, mundane, depressing, negative aspects.
Here is what I said. "I have been writing in one form or another for years. I have kept journals, written poetry and songs, and countless incomplete stories. Now I blog. I don’t know why other people write. I don’t know what motivates others. I am motivated by 2 things, getting my feelings out, specifically my positive and spiritual moments, and being my own best friend. I know that might sound silly. When I read something I wrote, even when I was a teenager, sometimes it is the exact thing I need. I even read my own blog sometimes and think “Wow. That is amazing!” I don’t mean this to sound vain. It is just that when I see myself and the things that have inspired me I am encouraged to keep going. It is really quite remarkable."

I am sharing this because I want to add to it. I have long been humbled that the Lord sometimes uses me to help others. I am even more amazed that He uses me to help myself. I truly believe this is the reason we are encouraged to keep a journal. When we read about the experiences we have had, personally, we are reminded of the Lord's hand in our lives. It is hard to be negative when our blessings are recorded in black and white. It increases our faith and confidence in Him as well. If He blessed us before, He will bless us again.

I recently listened to a broadcast on the Mormon Channel about Relief Society. Sister Beck suggested that sisters record their spiritual moments for future generations. She said we each can add to the history of Relief Society. When I heard this, I thought "Why wait? Why not share that history now?" I love to hear the spiritual experiences of others. They strengthen and encourage me. I can only hope that I do the same for others.


Of course some experiences are not meant to be shared. I have had moments that are only for me or those who were with me. I have considered sharing certain experiences and each time I just know I can not. They are not for the public. I have always liked Mary's example. Luke 2:19 records that "Mary kept all these things, and pondered them in her heart." I imagine she had many experiences that were never meant for anyone but the mother of the Messiah.


No matter how cool or interesting an experience may be, sometimes we are not prepared to receive inspiration. I think those are the times when we are most irritated by the good fortune of others. I must admit that there have been times when I read something I wrote and think "I am SO not her today!" In truth I am mostly upset that I am on the downward sweep of a mood swing. I believe everyone has bad days (or weeks or years). I also believe they are never constant. There are moments of peace in the midst of even the most difficult challenges. That is the real truth we all want to share.

OPPORTUNITY

by: Edward Rowland Sill

This I beheld, or dreamed it in a dream:--

There spread a cloud of dust along a plain;

And underneath the cloud, or in it, raged

A furious battle, and men yelled, and swords

Shocked upon swords and shields. A prince's banner

Wavered, then staggered backward, hemmed by foes.

A craven hung along the battle's edge,

And thought, "Had I a sword of keener steel--

That blue blade that the king's son bears, -- but this

Blunt thing--!" he snapped and flung it from his hand,

And lowering crept away and left the field.

Then came the king's son, wounded, sore bestead,

And weaponless, and saw the broken sword,

Hilt-buried in the dry and trodden sand,

And ran and snatched it, and with battle shout

Lifted afresh he hewed his enemy down,

And saved a great cause that heroic day.

Superwoman VS "Being Saved"

I grew up in the South; The Bible Belt; Evangelical Christian Conservative Country. People in this part of America are passionate about their beliefs. They are feisty and even obnoxious at times. Anyone who has been in the Southern US for more than a few minutes has no doubt encountered someone willing to share their religious beliefs and invite them to be saved.


This phrase "being saved" had been the cause of much contention and misunderstanding between these zealous Christians and Latter-Day Saints. I have spent much time pondering the difference between the LDS concept of salvation and that of my protestant peers.

Superpowers 201: Speaking Kid

Apparently I do not speak the same language as the rest of my family. I have ample evidence of this. I first noticed that something wasn't right when my kids started translating for me. I would say "Put that away, please." and one of my other children would turn the person I had just spoken to and say "Mommy wants you to put that away." They do this immediately. Not a few minutes later, not after the child had walked off, and certainly not after being asked by me to carry out this message.


As I started noticing this phenomenon I tried to stop it. I now find myself saying "Why did you do that? Did I ask you to say that? Do you have some kind of authority in this family? Did I not speak clearly the first time?" Each time I am regarded with expressions of shock and confusion, as if they don't understand what I am talking about. Occasionally I will get a response along the lines of "But he wasn't listening." or "I was just trying to help." I find this completely baffling.

Another evidence that I speak another language is that my children often respond to comments or instructions that are not directed at them. Even if I say the name of the child I am addressing every child in the room will launch into immediate protests about how they didn’t' know they were supposed to do such-and-such or they are innocent of the specified crime. I am most shocked when my 11 year old responds to comments addressed to my 18 month old. "I didn't throw my food on the floor!" "Why do you want to change my diaper?" or even "I just had a bath why do you want me to take another one?" Sometimes I think he is he joking but very often he is quite serious. I suspect he believes that since he is the oldest child, everything I say is directed at him, some subconscious claim that I am his mother and the other children are just visiting.

The most upsetting evidence that I do not speak "kid" is the fact that they simply do not listen. Oh sure, they listen when I get their attention or when I am speaking to them casually. But when I start telling them things to do or not do, they seem to glaze over. I have experimented with tone of voice, I have simplified my vocabulary, I have tried different volumes and even body language but to no avail. I will say "didn't I just tell you...." and they will frown and say "You said something but...." shrugs. Sheepish grins. contemplative squinting. So I try again. Very slowly and plainly. "Put your clothes in the drawers." Sometimes this gets action but sometimes I get a confused, straining look, as if they are struggling to understand my words.

This reminds me very much of the experiences I had in Belgium, trying to find the right words in a French /English dictionary to tell the mailman that we didn't know the Schumakers or apologize to the neighbor for scaring his sheep.

And so with a daily multitude of these kinds of moments, I have generally come to accept the fact that I am talking to hear my own voice and that nothing I say matters in the slightest. With this mindset, a kind of low expectations=fewer disappointments philosophy, I have been shocked to learn that my children are turning into decent people. I mean, I never expected they would become criminals or divas but I wasn’t sure what to expect. I had kind of given up the idea that I was molding them into something specific and accepted that the potter’s wheel was turning at break-neck speeds and all I could do was keep the clay from spinning off.

I am not completely surprised. It isn’t that they are bad kids. I am just surprised that some of what I say gets through. I could give lots of examples, like when my 8 year old son helped me fold a load of laundry without being asked or when any one of them comes to me and says “I had a bad dream but I prayed like you told me to and I wasn’t scared anymore.” But I want to share something that happened just recently.

My 8 year old daughter was baptized in January. Since then she has been determined to bear her testimony every Fast and Testimony Meeting. She said “I was baptized, that means I have a testimony and I have to share it.” She is shy and nervous but she valiantly marches up to the stand and says her 2 or 3 sentence testimony. She is getting more confident, which brings me to the real story.

She has been struggling in school, mostly with reading. Her teacher recommended that she attend a summer literacy camp where she got intense reading help for 2 hours a day. It was a pain in the behind. It was from 10-12 every day. I had to drag all the kids back and forth each day. We couldn’t really do anything in the mornings because there wasn’t enough time any way you sliced it. And she didn’t seem to make much progress. I was feeling like it was a real waste of time.

One day, out of the blue, she came home and announced that her teacher needed to come to church with us. Apparently she had brought her daughters to school one day, dressed in tank tops. My daughter said she knew right away that they didn’t go to our church because they were not modest. Then she said that they really needed to come and she wanted to tell her teacher about the church. We discussed it for a few minutes, her enthusiasm bubbling over. I suggested that she take a Book of Mormon to her teacher. She jumped on the idea, wrapping it in pretty wrapping paper and writing her teacher’s name on the tag.

I was so nervous for her. I prayed that it would go well. I was so worried that her little, tender testimony would be crushed.

It wasn’t. It turned out that her teacher had grown up with a close friend who was a member. She had attended many church activities as a youth and spoke very fondly of those experiences.

I told my daughter how proud I was of her. She frowned at me and said “Why? I didn’t do anything big or special. I just gave her a Book of Mormon. That’s a little thing. What’s so great about that?” I explained that many adults don’t even do that. “I don’t know why.” She said “It’s not like it’s hard.”

Well, I was beyond words I was so proud of her! It wasn’t the kind of proud like I had done something great. It was a kind of awe that she was going down the right path. And a little celebrating because that meant I hadn’t completely screwed her up!

So, although the kids still translate for each other and we still have those “Belgian moments” where I don’t seem to be getting through, I guess they are the exceptions. It seems that the language barriers come up during the mundane, everyday talking and not the important stuff. This gives me hope. Even if they are staring off into space or playing with legos while I try and explain why they need to pray or the importance of being kind I guess I will just keep talking!

Priesthood, order, revelation, etc.

I have lately been following a blog written by a man who is Messianic/Torah Observant Christian. I find this new strain of Christianity a bit fascinating, probably because it is new(Although they say they have been around since Christ's time. It's new to me!)


Anyway, this guy tends to ask questions and I can't help but offer an LDS perspective. I made a few comments on one such question and then Blogger started being dumb and I haven't been able to add to the conversation since then. (I suspect it has to do with my security settings but I haven't taken the time to investigate.) So the points of this conversation have been percolating in my head for a few weeks. I finally decided that I would make a general explanation here instead of trying to figure out the finer points of the blogging tech. Please feel free to comment or add your own thoughts.


Very brief recap: The initial question asked by the author had to do with whether or not the oral traditions should be followed, specifically those forbidding the teaching of Gentiles. I first commented about the Abrahamic covenant and the LDS perspective of a spiritual gathering of Israel. Later I gave the example of Peter receiving the revelation to teach the Gentiles. He responded that the Sanhedrin were in charge of ruling on the Law and that Peter was subject to them. This is where the conversation ended.

Superpowers 101:Taking Action

My childen have assigned jobs that rotate every few weeks. Sometimes I ask one child to do anothers job. I know that the one who is supposed to set the table is doing something else like difficult homework and the child hanging around the kitchen has nothing to do at the moment. So I say "Will you set the table, please?" I often get a shocked look and hear "But it's not my job! My job is done! Why are you giving me more work?!" The job isn't hard. They aren't busy. They would be helping the entire family by doing this job. Why do they protest? Better yet, why didn't they see that it needed to be done and do it without being asked?


Superheros don't usually wait around for someone to tell them there is crime or danger. They see a problem and they do their best to fix it. Oh, sure, there are signals and leagues that are used in special situations but most of the time the hero just does what needs to be done. In fact, they often go out looking for trouble. And they ALWAYS find it!

Now, I have no intentions of fighting crime or joining the ranks of real heros (firefighters, police officers, paramedics, soldiers, nurses, etc.) But that doesn't mean I have nothing to do. There are people in need all around us. We can easily find something to do if we are willing to simply look and then act.

I read a recent article called "Who Is The Chruch?". I have thought about this subject a lot. The problem with an orderly organization like the church is that a destructive attitude can creep into the minds and hearts of the members. I call it Not-My-Job-Syndrome. The thought process goes something like this:

"Sister So-n-so just had a baby. I would visit her but I am not her visiting teacher."

Or "Brother What's-his-name needs help but I am not the Elder's Quorum President."

Or how about "The youth need chaperones for their activity but I don't have any kids that age."

The list could go on and on.

I do it myself. I admit it. I make excuses to avoid reaching out. Sometimes they are really lame and I know it. Other times I know that I would be stepping on someones toes and causing trouble. Sometimes I think "I will help if someone asks me." This is the attitude described in the article. And it is wrong. It is motivated by selfishness and pride.

I have a friend who is not hampered by these excuses. On more than one occasion she showed up at my door to offer exactly what I needed or simply asked me how I was doing and asked if I needed anything. I remember thinking "Why is she being nice to me? She isn't my Visiting Teacher or the Relief Society President or anything. Why would she be thinking of me?" The answers are simple. She is my sister in the gospel. She reached out because she is a loving, caring person. She has a testimony of Jesus Christ and His gospel and stives to live as He lived. She is worthy of the guidance of the Holy Ghost and follows that guidance when it comes.

I think of the parralel with my children. Sometimes the person "assigned" to a job has other things going on. (I mean, we are all human. We can't do everything!) So Heavenly Father says

"Hey, you. Can you go see this person who needs help?"

Or maybe he says "I keep asking your brother to do this and he just isn't listening. I need someone reliable. Will you do it?"

Sometimes he might say "Your sister doesn't have as much experience as you do and is struggling. Will you show her how it's done?" 

I know I have been on both sides of this. I have been inspired to act many times in many ways. Sometimes I did, sometimes I didn't. Sometimes I made a mess of things. Most of the time things turned out better than I could have expected.

So why do we hesitate? Why make excuses, especailly when we know there will be blessings? I love this quote by Marianne Williamson

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.

I don't think it is really our fear but Satan's fear. He wants us to doubt ourselves. He wants us to shrink  from the influence of the Spirit. He doesn't want us to help one another. He doesn't want us to learn and grow. He is working against us, to cause fear and doubt and insecurity.

A big question, then, is how do we know who is inspiring us? How do we know if the thoughts and ideas we are having come from God? Moroni explains it well.

Wherefore, all things which are good cometh of God; and that which is evil cometh of the devil; for the devil is an enemy unto God, and fighteth against him continually, and inviteth and enticeth to sin, and to do that which is evil continually.


But behold, that which is of God inviteth and enticeth to do good continually; wherefore, every thing which inviteth and enticeth to do good, and to love God, and to serve him, is inspired of God. ~Moroni 7:12-13 (the whole chapter is awesome!)

This has been a hard lesson for me to learn. I have to remind myself that Satan will not suggest that I do anything good. I still make excuses. I still have doubts. I also have regrets. I can easily look back and see how I might have been guided differently if I had relied more on the Spirit for guidance. Sometimes I felt like I should do something for someone but I didn't act. Then I learned that they had a need I might have been able to meet. Often it would have been simply a few words of encouragement or companionship.

Such simple things! Why don't we act more often? I think the real answer is ignorance. We don't recognize our own talents and abilities. We forget who we really are and what we are capable of. We forget why we are here. It's like Superman being afraid of being shot or Spiderman taking the stairs. When we really understand who we are...When I understand who I am and what I can do...that is when I can live up to the expectations my Heaenly Father has for me.