Lessons From Family History

For the past year or so I have been spending a lot of time on family history. And I mean a LOT! Have you ever read those "Family History Moments" in the Church News? You know, the ones where someone has been searching for years with no luck and suddenly they meet a random stranger who happens to have thousands of names ready for the temple or something equally miraculous? That has been my year.

Well, sort of.

I have, in fact, been overwhelmed with information about families that seemed to have appeared one day with no past history. I have met distant relatives who had a wealth of information for me. I have seen photographs of people who lived and died long before I was ever born. It has been humbling and deeply gratifying.

But many unexpected blessings have come about because of this. I used to think I understood the Spirit of Elijah. I now know that I was clueless.

I have learned about my ancestors lives. I have looked at more than names and dates and places. I have been able to see the bigger picture. I can imagine what they felt when they immigrated to America. I can better understand the efforts they made to survive in the rural frontiers. I can better understand the heartache of loss when their children died from war and disease. I can marvel at their longevity in a time when the average life expectancy was quite short. I have laughed at the strange names they gave their children. I have raised an eyebrow at their scandals. No matter what I learn I feel deeper love and respect. I also feel hope.

There have been many challenges in our family in recent years. When you are in the middle of those problems, whether they come one after another or all at once or are on-going, they can seem overwhelming. I sometimes feel frustrated that life is not easier, that the perfect life I imagine is just a mirage. At times I have been deeply discouraged. Learning about my ancestors has given me better perspective.

I realize that they, too, had dreams and fears, trials and triumphs. I find myself feeling very blessed to have so many luxuries. I am ashamed of my slothfulness when I see what they were able to accomplish. I see the ripple of their choices, both good and bad, through their children and grandchildren.

Most of all, I want to be worthy to stand with them someday. I want to add to the legacy they have left behind in a way that would make them proud. I want to be a person who will one day engender such feelings in future generations.

I never knew such blessings were possible.

Life Is A Battlefield

Life is a battlefield. (Doesn't that sound like a Pat Benatar song?) Seriously, though, I sometimes feel like I have spent my day fighting an unseen enemy, dropping into bed exhausted, only to wake up and do it all over again the next morning. Too dramatic? I think not.

During my first year of early-morning seminary, we studied the Book of Mormon. Our teacher got really excited about the so-called war chapters. He kept telling us that we were preparing for our own battles. He even went so far as to print T-shirts that said "Statesville Pre-Battle School" for us to wear as a seminary class. It felt a little much at the time but not exactly wrong either.

More than 20 years later, I see it. I see the war between good and evil raging around me. We have been warned for centuries that this day would come. Were we prepared?

It seems that some of these evils are so subtle, so unassuming, that they sneak up on us. We turn around and there they are, ready to strike.

I was feeling burdened by these thoughts last fall. I was feeling anxious about sending my children out into that battlefield. I wanted to keep them home, safe and hidden from the horrors of "war". Yet I struggled. How could they be a force for good if they were locked away in our fortress? How could we possibly defeat the enemy if we didn't go out to meet it?

This is where my mind was during Stake Conference in September 2013. The closing speaker was President Micheal Hamilton. He started talking about the rescue at Dunkirk. Suddenly, my mind was not on his talk but my own concerns for my children. My thoughts were filled with images and ideas as though they were being poured into me. Here is what I wrote in my notes:

We get injured and dirty in the fight against evil but we are on the winning side. We will heal, we will be clean again but we must fight. We can't hide in our pristine caves in the hopes of remaining unharmed and undamaged.

I kept remembering the Stripling Warriors. They were young men who chose to help defend their homes and freedoms. After one difficult battle, we learn

...there were two hundred, out of my two thousand and sixty, who had fainted because of the loss of blood; nevertheless, according to the goodness of God, and to our great astonishment, and also the joy of our whole army, there was not one soul of them who did perish; yea, and neither was there one soul among them who had not received many wounds. Alma 57:25 (emphasis added)

All were wounded but none were lost. I felt some-what reassured but I was still struggling with my fears and shortcomings. How could I ensure that my children would be able to survive this war? Another scripture came to mind.

...we talk of Christ, we rejoice in Christ, we preach of Christ, we prophesy of Christ, and we write according to our prophecies, that our children may know to what source they may look for a remission of their sins. 2 Nephi 25:26 (emphasis added)

That was it. The solution to my problem was already in place. I felt peace. Still a little afraid but no longer overwhelmed.

I have thought of this experience often in the past year. This month, the Ensign included an article about protecting our children against pornography. The first few paragraphs were so close to my experience that I had chills!

This past weekend we had Stake Conference again. In his closing remarks, President Hamilton said "Filth splashes on all of us. He doesn't care how pretty it is as long as we get back to him."

I used to think that if we were keeping the commandments, trying our best to do what is right, we would be safe from the spiritual dangers of this world. Now I know better. There may have been a time when it was easier to avoid the splash of filth. Not now, not today as we are preparing for the second coming of Christ. 

But that is no reason to loose hope. Our Heavenly Father knew these days would come. He knew what trials we would face. He prepared a way for us to overcome them. Through the Atonement of Jesus Christ we can all be cleaned and cured from every injury. Because of Him, there is no need to fear.

Music Callings In The Church: Ward Choir

Being a Ward Choir Director was by far the most challenging calling I have ever had. I agonized over everything I did.

"Did I choose the right song?"

"Is it too difficult?"

"Is it too easy?"

"Can the pianist play this?"

"Should we do parts or just sing the melody?"

"Should I encourage my one Tenor to learn his part or let him sing with the sopranos?"

"Are we rehearsing too often? Not often enough? Is it a bad time?"

"If I bring food will they come sing? Should I really have to pay people to participate?"

"Why aren't the good singers coming? They hate must me! They know I am not very good at this and they are snubbing me. They are judging me. They are sending me a message that I am unacceptable!"

I don't think I have ever felt so much self-doubt about anything...except maybe motherhood!

I tried very hard to push these thoughts out. I focused on those who did come. I trusted that their willingness to be there would bless our efforts. And we were blessed.

I learned a lot from this calling, more than I ever expected.

Lesson 1: ALL callings require faith in the Lord.- Somehow I had come to the conclusion that I only needed to rely on the Lord if I "needed" help. Being choir director taught me that I ALWAYS need help! I needed to pray and ponder and study to do this calling well.

Lesson 2: No calling is an island.- This was actually not a new concept to me. It was just reaffirmed in ginormous flashing neon letters. It didn't matter how hard I worked or how much I prepared if no one showed up to sing. (Which actually happened more times than I care to remember!) Most callings in the church require participation from other ward members. When someone is called to serve in the church they are providing a service to others. The only thing they ask in return is support. As members we show our support by showing up to classes and meetings, activities and practices. Is that really too much to ask?

Sometimes I got the feeling that "good" singers didn't like to come to choir practice because they weren't getting anything out of it. I could say something about that but it might not be appropriate so I will let you draw your own conclulsions.

Lesson 3: Music is important!- I don't have all the answers but I do know that our Heavenly Father loves music. Music is a precious and powerful gift. Music can change our moods. Music can invite the Holy Ghost to comfort, inspire, and protect us in times of need. The scriptures are filled with references to singing. By disregarding music we cut ourselves off from a beautiful, sacred blessing.

Lesson 4: There is beauty in simplicity.- I know that there are many accomplished musicians in the world.  If I spend much time looking at their work I start to feel pretty crappy by comparison. The little choir I was responsible for had limited abilities. With time and experience, trial and error, I found the balance between beauty and simplicity. We weren't the MoTab so why try to be?

Lesson 5: The Lord blesses the righteous not the gifted.- A gifted person can be blessed also, of course. But the scripture actually says

"For my soul delighteth in the song of the heart; yea, the song of the righteous is a prayer unto me, and it shall be answered with a blessing upon their heads.." (D&C 25:12, emphasis added)

When we sing from the heart, we are blessed. I saw it often in our little choir. The members became confident in their abilities. They always sang better in the actual performance than in any rehearsals. The congregation felt the Spirit. When we sang for the Lord, he blessed our efforts.

I know that callings like this one can be frustrating. It is part of the learning process. But it can also be very rewarding. Never in my life did I understand Ether:12:27 better than I did as a choir director.

"I give unto men weakness that they may be humble; and my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them."

Music Callings In The Church: Playing The Piano

I didn't take piano lessons consistently. Each time I restarted lessons I had to play catch-up for a while. I also had to try to break bad habits I had adopted in the intervals. And I happen to be a perfectionist so I wanted to play everything perfectly, each note and rhythm exactly as it is written.

I never mastered any of this. I love playing but my varied experiences have left me with limited abilities. For many years I have compared myself to accomplished professionals and lamented my many flaws. For example, my teachers often chastised me for playing by ear or memorizing instead of reading the music. I have long accepted this as a weakness.

During the past couple of years I have realized that the opposite is true. I am not saying that I don't have room for improvement. What I have realized is that I need to use my abilities to my advantage and compensate for my limitations.

Here are a few tips and tricks that I have learned from experience.

1. Play through a hymn first. Sometimes I surprise myself. Something a hymn I thought was unfamiliar or difficult turns out to be quite simple. Once I determine the difficulty and my ability to play the hymn as written, I decide if I can make it work.

2. Like most novices, I can play better with my right hand. I could play almost any hymn with just that hand but it doesn't sound complete. I prefer not to do this. One way to alter a difficult hymn is to just play whole-note chords with the left hand. "Love At Home" (Hymns, 294) is an excellent hymn for this trick. In the first measure, I would play the first notes as a whole note, the second measure I would play the first two chords as a half-note and the other half note as written, and so on.

3. Sometimes I simply can't reach all the notes, especially in the bass clef
(the bottom, left-hand notes). I have found that playing the very bottom notes, along with the upper, right hand notes, creates a fuller sound but is somewhat easier to play. It takes practice to figure out which notes to play and which to leave out. Some examples of hymns that work well with this trick are "Rejoice, the Lord Is King" (Hymns, 66) and "As Sisters In Zion" (Hymns, 309)

4. Sometimes the hymn is written in a key that is hard for me. Now you can go to LDS.org and transpose the hymns into a different key with the click of a button! Just print it and play it. Most people won't notice and those who do should keep their mouths shut! What matters is that it helps you fulfill your calling and invite the Spirit into the meeting. *Note: be mindful of the vocal range of those singing. If it is too high or too low it will be uncomfortable to the singers and detract from the music.

Example: "How Firm A Foundation", (Hymns, 85) is written in the key of A flat Major (4 flats). By clicking the down arrow once, it is in G major, with just one sharp.  But if you continue adjusting up or down you not only get lots of sharps or flats but the song will be in an unrealistic vocal range.

 

 

If you have been called and set apart as a pianist it is up to you to find a way to fulfill that calling. An don't forget, music is a creative art form. So be creative! 

Music Callings In The Church; Challenges And Solutions

I have had a few music callings in recent years. I have served as Relief Society pianist in three wards in as many years. I have also been a chorister, choir director, and Primary music leader. Each of these callings presents unique challenges but they also have some common issues.

Music callings are unique. Unlike teaching or serving in a leadership position, you can't fake playing the piano. These callings require unique skills, including a knowledge of reading music and the physical ability to play or sing. Music callings also require preparation and planning.

It saddens me to realize that the number of skilled musicians in the world is declining. Each time I receive a music calling I think "Really? Me? Am I the best you can do?" While I recognize that maybe Heavenly Father is pushing me to improve my own talents, I also realize that, if I decline, the position will not be filled. There are just not that many people who can do it.

This presents some challenges to leaders who want to fill music callings. Most recognize the power of music to invite the Spirit into a meeting. Good music, that is. A pianist who stumbles and struggles can actually detract from the meeting. What can be done?

1. First, and absolutely the most important in my experience and opinion, is to let the pianist choose the hymns. I am frustrated each time a well-meaning leader chooses hymns they consider to be "easy" and insist the pianist play them. They mistake familiarity with simplicity. There are less-familiar hymns that I can play with my eyes closed. Some that seem difficult might actually be easier on a pianist because they can improvise. For example: "Count Your Blessings" (Hymn 241) is easier for me than "Love One Another" (Hymn 308). This may not be true for every pianist.

I am not sure why some leaders are so insistent on choosing the hymns. I know in some cases the ward music leader is the one who does this so maybe it is an effort to fulfill that calling. Regardless, the pianist should have the biggest say in choosing the hymns.

* A suggestion for pianist: take time to try to play every hymn in the hymn book and make a list of which ones you are comfortable with. This might be a little time consuming but providing a list of hymns for your leaders to choose from just might save everyone from tears and frustration!

2. Non-pianists have no idea how challenging it can be to play with a congregation. I can tell you from experience that it varies from one group to another. I played in one Relief Society where the sisters were fairly timid singers. I could barely hear them and sometimes I sang along as I played just to help keep track of which verse I was on.

The next ward was just the opposite. There were many powerful and talented singers. I could hear the sisters singing parts like a choir. It was beautiful! But it was also intimidating. I felt pressured to play every note and not make mistakes that would mess up the beauty of their voices. Of course, I stumbled over the keys and messed it up anyway. It was my own fault for focusing so much on them and not on the piano. In retrospect, it might have been helpful to wear earplugs!

3. People have to practice. I was first called as Relief Society pianist as a newly wed. I had no piano, no keyboard. I tried to practice at the church during mid-week activities but the rooms with pianos were always being used. On top of that, the leaders didn't give me prior notice about which hymns we were singing. Sometimes I had never even heard them! It was truly a lesson in humility!

4. Music callings are callings. It seems that some leaders see leading the music or playing the piano as some kind of service or busy-work. But these callings require prayer, preparation, sacrifice, and inspiration, just as any calling in the church. Those servicing in music positions deserve respect, encouragement, and appreciation.

I hope this is helpful. I have thought about this often in recent years. Music is such an important component in our meetings. Music invites the spirit, bears testimony, and soothes the troubled heart. Creating this kind of meeting is not the responsibilty of just one person, but a team. We should all work together to achieve this goal.


Keep a look out for future posts with more specific tips for pianist and choir directors.

Greatness: God VS The World

"For my thoughts are not your thoughts,

neither are your ways my ways, saith the Lord.

For as the heavens are higher than the earth,

so are my ways higher than your ways,

and my thoughts than your thoughts."

Isaiah 55:8-9

 

 

 

 

I love adventure stories. Movies, TV shows, books. Fantasy, Science Fiction, History. Anything that illustrates excitement, action, heroism. The characters (or real people in the case of a historical event) might not become well-known for their efforts but they do something that touches many lives. They save the world, defeat the bad guy, restore the balance of power, etc.

Sometimes they are underdog stories. A lowly person becomes a great ruler. A struggling student becomes accomplished in their field of study. A nobody becomes a somebody.

The string running through all of these stories is that all of the hero accomplish something the world recognizes as great. Maybe their efforts are unheralded by the world at large during their lifetime. Maybe the character's deeds are unknown in his make-believe world.  But to us, the audience, the students of the past, the listeners of their stories, they accomplish something extraordinary.

In my younger days, I looked at my life through a fog of possibilities. My future was an exciting mystery. I could be anything, do anything. Many people in my circle of influence told me that I would do great things some day.

As a Latter-Day Saint youth, I often heard quotes and council from leaders heralding the great work my generation would accomplish. I heard the stories of the restoration and pioneers trek west, the building of Zion and their baptism by fire as they struggled and suffered. I heard these people described as "great" and their efforts as "mighty". I envisioned mythic figures, bold and brave as they ran forward towards any task.

My own life is not over, of course, but it is not exactly what I expected either. It is messy and mundane and frustrating and complicated. I often feel that I have not lived up to expectations. I am supposed to accomplish great things and I'm stuck here in this house with a bunch of kids and an endless list of chores. Major fail, right?

Through the eyes of age, I see the heroic stories of the past with a little less glitter. I can imagine the pain and heartache associated with their trials. I know how difficult their choices must have been at the time. I realize how frightening life must have been at times. And I realize there were many days filled with the messy and mundane. No one escapes that.

"But I am supposed to do something great. My life has a special mission!"

And what might that be, exactly?

The world tells us greatness and success in life must be like those stories I love. We have to be the underdog who fights until he wins. We have to become famous for something. We have to do something that changes lives.

Right?

I recently read this story from "Teachings Of The Presidents Of The Church: Lorenzo Snow". As a member of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles, Lorenzo Snow received word that a friend's daughter had passed away. He immediately went to their home and gave the child a priesthood blessing.

During the administration I was particularly impressed with some of the words which he used and can well remember them now. He said: ‘Dear Ella, I command you, in the name of the Lord, Jesus Christ, to come back and live, your mission is not ended. You shall yet live to perform a great mission.’ He said she should yet live to rear a large family and be a comfort to her parents and friends. I well remember these words.
 

The daughter was soon revived. And what of her "great mission"?

When Ella had been in the spirit world, she had felt such peace and happiness that she had not wanted to return. But she obeyed the voice of President Snow. From that very day, she comforted family members and friends, helping them understand that they did not need to mourn for their loved ones who had died. Later she married, had eight children, and served faithfully in her Church callings.
 

That's it? She comforted people. She had 8 kids. She served faithfully. The end.

What? She was raised from the dead for that? She didn't become the first woman president or a famous artist? She didn't find a cure for some horrible disease? Did her kids do something important? Come on! Give me something to work with here! What kid of ending is that?

That's what the world would say, isn't it? That story is a let down from a worldly perspective.

But not to our Heavenly Father. What does he call "great"?

At the same time came the disciples unto Jesus, saying,  Who is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven? And Jesus called a little child unto him, and set him in the midst of them, And said, Verily I say unto you, Except ye be converted, and become as little children, ye shall not enter into the kingdom of heaven. Whosoever therefore shall humble himself as this little child, the same is greatest in the kingdom of heaven. (Matt. 18:1-4)

 

 

But he that is greatest among you shall be your servant. And whosoever shall exalt himself shall be abased; and he that shall humble himself shall be exalted. (Matt. 23:11)

 

 

Master, which is the great commandment in the law? Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. This is the first and great commandment. And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself. (Matt. 22:36)

Wherefore, be not weary in well-doing, for ye are laying the foundation of a great work. And out of small things proceedeth that which is great. (D&C 64:33)

 

 

Remember the worth of souls is great in the sight of God...And if it so be that you should labor all your days ... and bring, save it be one soul unto me, how great shall be your joy with him in the kingdom of my Father! And now, if your joy will be great with one soul that you have brought unto me into the kingdom of my Father, how great will be your joy if you should bring many souls unto me! (D&C 18:16)

 

 

 

The scriptures contain hundreds of references to Heavenly Father's definition of greatness. Obedience, humility, love, service to others, these are what make us great in his eyes. Motherhood embodies them all.

 

Next time you feel that you have somehow failed because you are wiping noses instead of curing cancer or battling for world peace, take a step back and look at yourself through heaven's eyes. What will you see?

 

We Are All The Offspring Of God

This is an excellent explaination of Acts 17:28-29 and our connection with God.


 "For in him we live, and move, and have our being; as certain also of your own poets have said, For we are also his offspring. Forasmuch then as we are the offspring of God, we ought not to think that the Godhead is like unto gold, or silver, or stone, graven by art and man’s device."

http://www.deseretnews.com/article/865576313/Every-man-woman-and-child-is-a-child-of-God.html?pg=1

Spiritual Math



How many lines can pass through a single point?

 

 

 

How many lines can pass through two points?

 

I like to make things out of paper. Sometimes I am careful and accurate. Sometimes I am in a hurry. If I am careful, I measure the paper at multiple spots to make sure I have a straight line. If I don't, even with a ruler, I might make my line at an angle instead of completely straight. Even one extra measurement helps me stay in line.

 

 

The Bible is a beautiful, holy book, inspired by God, filled with truth and wisdom. It is a single point. With only one point, we can not accurately find the correct path back to our Heavenly Father. We might be close, we can "eye-ball"it, but we run a great risk of being off track eventually.

 

The Book of Mormon is "Another Testament of Jesus Christ". It is a second point. It is not meant to replace the Bible, it is meant to be a companion to it. When these two holy books are used together, we can find the path that leads us to our heavenly home.

Forgiving God

I have had a lot of thoughts rolling around my head lately. It seems our family has been through one stressful event after another for, well, years really. Right now I am in the burned-out, apathetic, moody stage that usually follows such an event. I mostly feel nothing. But occasionally....
You see, the thing about going through a hard time is that you feel things. Pain, frustration, anxiety, and, often, anger.

At church today we had a great talk. The speaker asked "What causes misery?" He divided it into two categories 1. The things we do to ourselves and 2. The things beyond our control. He then explained that when bad things happen it is in our nature to ask "Who do I blame?"

This is where I have been. The thing is, I know that our recent struggles were beyond our control. So who’s to blame? I could blame the Army, the real estate market, the economy, etc. But ultimately it comes down to one source: Heavenly Father. I mean, he is in charge of everything, right?

But the thought of blaming God for anything is just...wrong! How could a person do that?!

Of course, I know plenty of people do that. People from every religion and nation and class have blamed God for their suffering at some point or another. This blaming potentially leads to personal apostasy when the injured turn their backs to God.

So, why does it happen? For one thing it feels like a breach of trust. We trust God to take care of us and it seems like he didn't. That trust might have been blind and naive or it could have developed from years of sincere effort for a meaningful relationship.

The natural reaction when someone hurts you is to distance yourself from them. In October 2012 General Conference, Elder Neil L. Andersen warned, "Distancing yourself from the kingdom of God during a trial of faith is like leaving the safety of a secure storm cellar just as the tornado comes into view."

What should we do? How do we get past this perceived hurt? How do we turn to the person who hurt us and ask them for help?

Some pretty unpleasant things come to mind, like swallowing our pride. Humbling ourselves. Submitting to the will of the Father. King Benjamin said it very well.

"For the natural man is an enemy to God, and has been from the fall of Adam, and will be, forever and ever, unless he yields to the enticings of the Holy Spirit, and putteth off the natural man and becometh a saint through the atonement of Christ the Lord, and becometh as a child, submissive, meek, humble, patient, full of love, willing to submit to all things which the Lord seeth fit to inflict upon him, even as a child doth submit to his father. Mosiah 3:19"

Did you catch that? "willing to submit to all things which the Lord seeth fit to inflict upon him."

Nice. Sounds like a big ole party, huh. I mean, you don't exactly inflict people with happiness do you?

If this was a regular person we were talking about we might call this a toxic relationship. Everyone who knew our situation would say "He did what?! Get away! Sue! Report him to the authorities!" That's not exactly the Lord's counsel though, is it?

"Wherefore, I say unto you, that ye ought to forgive one another; for he that forgiveth not his brother his trespasses standeth condemned before the Lord; for there remaineth in him the greater sin. I, the Lord, will forgive whom I will forgive, but of you it is required to forgive all men. Doctrine and Covenants 64:9"

If you have paid any attention in church you know that forgiveness is not about the other person, it's about you. It's about letting go of the hurt and the anger and the blame. It's about restoring the relationship you had before.

To say that God needs to be forgiven implies that he did something wrong. That God made a mistake. That he sinned. But that isn't exactly true is it? There are plenty of times when we can feel like a person has wronged us but they really didn't do anything that was actually wrong.

For example, my almost-3-year-old has discovered that he likes candy. He wants candy all the time, day and night. When I say "No", he sometimes gets very upset with me. He cries, he yells, he frowns and pouts. He might even take a swing at me.

Did I do something wrong? No. His feelings are real but they are caused by his limited understanding of life. He doesn't know that his body needs nutritious food to grow and be healthy. He doesn't know that I am acting out of love. All he knows is that things didn't go the way he wanted.

He now has a choice to make; he can hate me forever or forgive me. The change will be his, not mine. He must learn that I am not being mean by denying him the thing he wants. If he forgives me and continues to trust me, he will be fed and cared for and grow healthy and strong. If not, he can refuse to eat anything I offer him and starve. He can run away and try to make it on his own. Not many jobs for 3-year-olds out there.

And, so, he forgives me. He lets go of that momentary disappointment and moves on. He accepts that he actually has a pretty good life. He even gets candy from time to time.

Am I that forgiving? Am I willing to put aside my hurt? Can I let it go?

I think so. I know I have in the past. Sometimes that forgiveness is instantaneous. Sometimes it is a process. I can be stubborn or I can be humble. Unlike other relationships, Heavenly Father can actually help me with this process. He wants to help me. All I have to do is let him.

 

We Are Not Meant To Be Alone

 A few months ago I attended a Stake Relief Society Meeting. I almost didn't go. I had heard the announcements and received a little flier with some very basic information but that was it. I thought that since I was still pretty new to the area and I didn't really know many people I wouldn't get much out of it.

I. was. SO. wrong!

The theme was "Dancing in the Rain". The gym was beautifully decorated. White balloons were hanging from fishing line strung across the room, giving the appearance of raindrops. Beautiful open umbrellas lined the stage or hung around the edges of the room. There was soft lighting.

The program was a combination of music, speakers and a narration of quotes connecting it all. I never realized how often the rain analogy is used in songs, scriptures, quotes, and stories! The program seemed to touch on every possible aspect of that analogy.

During one of the talks, the speaker described all the things she had been feeling; discouraged, overwhelmed, lonely. She started to cry a little. An elderly sister was sitting in the front row. She walked up to the younger woman and stood behind her with her hand on her shoulder. The speaker composed herself and continued speaking with this sweet ladies hand on her shoulder the whole time.

This episode illustrated the message of the whole evening; we are not alone.

We each struggle.

We suffer.

We feel lonely.

We feel overwhelmed.

We feel discouraged.

We feel tempted.

We are challenged.

We are tested.

We are blessed.

I know, I KNOW, it feels like you are the only person who has ever been___________.

Or gone through _____________. 

It feels like no one could possibly understand.

But it's not true.

I know you have heard many, many times that the Savior is always there for you and knows what you are going through. That is true. But sometimes it feels too...cliche? Distant? Whatever it is, it isn't always enough. At least for me.

This is why the meeting was so important, especially the little old lady supporting the younger woman. It reminded me that we really are not alone. All around us are people who have struggled. Maybe not everyone is willing to help us but many are.

Sometimes I think that older people don't know what I am going through. I make excuses to ignore their advice, not because it is bad but because they are right. Instead of commiserating with me they give me perspective. Who wants that! (just kidding!)

They also give me hope. If they can get through it so can I!

When I was in college I often heard the phrase "God has no hands but ours." I thought it was kind of a wierd image at the time. Now I understand it.

When we reach out to one another, we are acting as the Savior would act and blessing others as he would bless them.

"A new commandment I give unto you,

That ye love one another;

as I have loved you, that ye also love one another. 

By this shall all men know that ye are my disciples,

if ye have love one to another."

John 13:34

I'm Thankful For...#18

I am thankful for the gospel of Jesus Christ.

I am thankful for the blessings adherence to the gospel brings to me and my family.

I am thankful for the opportunity to learn and grow and make mistakes.

I am thankful for repentance.

I am thankful for eternal families.

I am thankful for the guidance of the Holy Ghost.

I am thankful for the tender mercies of the Lord.

I am thankful for a Heavenly Father who loves me.

Lessons From The Move; Part 3

Apparently I was looking kind of bored or lazy this summer. One day my mom suggested I help her scan some old family photos. We took her scanner over to my Grandma's house (on my dad's side) and set it up on her dining room table. Grandma pulled out a big Rubbermaid container fill of pictures. They were in no real order. There were envelopes with pictures from 40 years ago and 4 years ago all mixed together.

As Mom and Grandma looked through pictures, I made the scans and wrote down names and any other information. It was really cool to see pictures of my dad and grandparents when they were young. For the most part, it was what I expected. I mean, I recognized the names and/ faces. I had seen some of the photos before; we just wanted to make sure they were preserved.

Then we came to some pictures of an elderly woman with a broad grin.

"Who's this?" I asked

"Oh, that's Granny Baxley." Grandma said, as if I should know. When I just looked at her she added, "Mr. Wilson's mother."

"Baxley? I thought his parents were Stephen Wilson and Mary Turbyfill."

"Yes. That's her. Everybody called her Elsie. She remarried after her husband died."

I stared at the photo, my heart pounding, my mind in shock. This was the woman I had been searching for and wondering about for years.

There is a program associated with FamilySearch that takes your family tree and puts it on a fan chart. Mine looks like a wagon wheel with some spokes missing. Some lines fill the spaces for the 9 generations on the chart. Some just stop after a few generations. This was one of them.

I have had an account on Ancestry.com for 12 years. I have taken spells of being almost obsessed with filling out my tree, then put it away in frustration for long stretches.

The one name that I have always gone back to was Mary Elsie Josephine Turbyfill. Who was she? Who were her parents? What was her life like? I have asked all these questions. At times I felt desperate to know her. I felt anguish that she seemed lost to time and forgotten.



Elsie, about 1930



Now here she was, smiling up at me.



There were actually several pictures of her and her family. I was amazed beyond words.

I went back to my parents house and renewed my subscription to Ancestry.com. I uploaded some of the pictures, especially Elsie. I needed to bring her out of the shadows. I couldn't let her stay forgotten.



Elsie and Jeanie, about 1950



One of the pictures I added was of her with her sister "Jeanie". It is such a sweet depiction of two sisters who obviously cared about one another.



Almost immediately I received an email from a woman who is descended from Jeanie. She has worked tirelessly for years on the Turbyfill line. She had made connections with other relatives from across the country.

It is a HUGE family!

This cousin of mine not only offered to share all of her information with me but lived just a short distance away. We got together and swapped information. After talking with her about her side of the family I realized I had seen another picture of her great grandmother AND her husband. I shared this picture with her. She said it was the only picture she had ever seen of him.



Jeanie with her husband and 2 of her sons, about 1930



Finding so much information on this line of my family has been truly humbling. I can only describe it as a miracle.

I never could have imagined that some as simple as scanning some old pictures and putting them on the Internet could reap such rewards!

There were many photos of people none of us had ever heard of. I wonder if anyone out there is looking for them as well?




Elsie and Jeanie, about 1950





The Iron Rod

We sang this hymn in Stake Conference today. It was just the...shot in the arm? kick in the pants? I needed today.



The Iron Rod

1. To Nephi, seer of olden time,
A vision came from God,
Wherein the holy word sublime
Was shown an iron rod.

[Chorus]
Hold to the rod, the iron rod;
’Tis strong, and bright, and true.
The iron rod is the word of God;
’Twill safely guide us through.

2. While on our journey here below,
Beneath temptation’s pow’r,
Through mists of darkness we must go,
In peril ev’ry hour.

3. And when temptation’s pow’r is nigh,
Our pathway clouded o’er,
Upon the rod we can rely,
And heaven’s aid implore.

4. And, hand o’er hand, the rod along,
Through each succeeding day,
With earnest prayer and hopeful song,
We’ll still pursue our way.

5. Afar we see the golden rest
To which the rod will guide,
Where, with the angels bright and blest,
Forever we’ll abide.

Text: Joseph L. Townsend, 1849–1942
Music: William Clayson, 1840–1887

1 Nephi 15:23–25

1 Nephi 8; 1 Nephi 12:17

Varied Perspectives

We Mormons are getting lots of attention lately. This week I watched a two-part series on ACB World Report with Diane Sawyer. I was impressed with the positive tone and accurate information. Although it was not thorough as it could have been it did not feel designed to mock or expose some deep dark secret. I would recommend it to anyone.

I also watched a report on Rock Center with Brian Williams called "Mormons In America". I had mixed feelings about that one.

As a practicing member of the church, I felt the over-all program was disjointed. It seemed to bounce around from one topic to another.  Some were really positive and inspiring, others were confusing and contradictory.

For example, the last segment was an interview with a young man who describes himself as a former Mormon. He tells a very touching story about his mission and how much it changed him but also says he could not 'reach his full potential as a human being inside the church as a gay person'.  I honestly felt sorry for the guy. I suspect many people did.

I can only imagine how he feels. It can't be easy to be homosexual in a church that is so centered on marriage and family. Given the current attitude of our society, it seems that this young man was driven out of the church but bigotry and hate. That was not the case. I don't even have to know him to know that. But the segment left an overall feeling that the church is exclusive, elitist, judgemental, and cold.

The tone of the show seemed to be "conform or get out". Abby Huntsman all but said that as she discussed the Temples of the church. It was so clear to me, as a member, that she was talking out of...something other than her mouth. She didn't have experience in the Temple and quite clearly did not respect what it represents, a sacred place of worship. Of course we don't want just anyone to inside. Brian Williams compares it to a Cathedral in New York. Have you been in a cathedral? I personally feel the scared nature of the building and the reverence with which it was constructed. Then I look around and see people laughing, listening to secular music, wearing casual clothing that can be quite distracting, behaving in any numb er of inappropriate ways. I realize that not everyone behaves this way toward a building of worship. But we live in a world that no longer understands reverence. As Latter-Day Saints, we not only understand it, we encourage it. People don't understand the sacred nature of the temple because they don't understand what it is to hold something sacred. (And by the way, the Jews did not open their temples to just anyone either. Temples  have ALWAYS been exclusive.) And don't forget that tantalizing tidbit about temple garments. I didn't realize it was now socially acceptable to ask strangers to show you their underwear.

I loved the part about the church Welfare program. Kudos to Harry Smith for not spinning it into some kind of conspiracy to hoard food or something. It made me want to go out and serve more, increase out personal food storage and reach out to the community. The whole segment was inspiring!

I have watched many shows about churches, schools, government programs, etc. I realize that interviewing former members is a common practice. I also realize that I make certain assumptions when outsiders do most of the talking on a subject. I assume that the active members are unwilling to talk. I assume that the active members have something to hide. I assume that the outsider is telling me truths I would not get from an insider. I wonder how many  other viewers make the same assumptions.

Please note that ABC managed to tour a temple during an open house, speak directly to senior church leaders and ask questions that were nearly identical to those asked on the NBC program. NBC made this seem impossible, as if they could only get former members or disgruntled members to comment on the church's practices. That is exactly the kind of underhanded tactics that kept me from pursuing a career in journalism.

Okay, enough ranting. I just needed to get that out. If any of my readers have comments or questions about these programs or others, don't hesitate to ask. I would really love to hear how they came across to non-Mormons.

Superwoman VS "The Clique"

Middle-Aged Mormon Man wrote a post about cliques a few days ago that has got me thinking. His post focuses more on how we, as individual members, sometimes exclude non-members from our social circles. My thoughts are a little bigger.

I grew up surrounded by devotees of many faiths. There are streets in my hometown lined with churches. I doubt there is a single road without at least a small church somewhere along the way. These churches, large and small, share one commonality in my memories: welcome.

Each of those churches prominently displays a sign welcoming visitors. They show times for their Sunday School and other services. They advertise their day cares and scouts and other activities. My brothers and I were invited to more vacation bible schools than I can count! I attended many activities and services for many different reasons. I never felt that the people were going to convert me or condemn me (...okay, I can think of one really creepy VBS where they tried to get my brother to speak in tongues but that was an exception!) For the most part, I was a welcome visitor. The people were friendly and kind.

Why can't we be like that?

I think Mormons feel such deep devotion to our beliefs that we often trip over ourselves! When a non-member shows up we either overwhelm them with our efforts or ignore them in our attempts to "play it cool". Of course, some of us have found that happy medium (I don't think I am one of them!) but we can't expect those few to do all the work.

I have thought about this a lot. I think it takes practice to be welcoming without slipping into the extremes. So, how do we practice?

I have long believed that our meeting houses should be more inviting. Not the building itself but the activities. Why aren't we advertising our scouting programs to the community? "Outsiders" are welcome and the scout budget covers dues and supplies for ALL participants. This could be a great advantage to communities that have low-income families who want to participate but can't afford it.

What about Relief Society meetings? I have a deep belief that the sisters in Relief Society are meant to be shining examples in this darkening world. I know, KNOW, that there are many women who need our steady courage in the face of so much pressure to be wicked. Yet we keep our meetings to ourselves.

Couldn't we invite other children to our Primary and youth activities? With a VBS and AWANA on every corner, why are our activities exclusive?

What about our Halloween parties, Christmas parties and Easter egg hunts?

I know that there are certain logistical issues when planning activities. I know about budgets and head counts and supply shortages. Those are so lame in the eternal scheme of things! Are we really going to look at some one in the afterlife and say "We would have invited you but we were on a tight budget."? I certainly don't want to say "It would have been extra work."!!!!!

I know we can individually invite people to stuff, and I do. I try to make is seem so normal, almost expected that they would want to come and I have managed to shrug it off when they say no. I no longer feel the rejection I once felt. But I still feel it is not enough.

I feel, deeply, that it is the duty of those who have been blessed with the gospel to invite others. We are ambassadors, hosts, guides. It seems we should not be hoarding the blessing of the gospel for ourselves but proclaiming them to everyone we meet.

What would it take, really?

Planning.

Consistency.

Time.

Effort.

Courage.

Sticktoitivness.

Can we do it?  Yes. Will we?

I think the reasons we keep to ourselves are the same old boring ones: fear, self-consciousness, laziness, human weakness,...

Imagine, just for a moment, what we could accomplish if we could only overcome these.

Who Are REAL Christians?

I have known many zealous people who thrust their beliefs at others so forcefully the only reaction is to recoil. Many of these enthusiastic people are Christian, whether Baptist, Catholic, Mormon, or some other denomination, it doesn't matter. They all seem to have the same misguided passion.

I am sure I have had my moments of uncharitable zeal. I understand where it comes from. It is the product of deep, passionate beliefs and frustration in our unbelieving peers.

I mean, sometimes don't you just want to grab people and shake them and beat them over the head with the scriptures until they see it your way?

I bring this up because I have a certain friend who seems intent on offending everyone she knows in the name of "religious freedom" and "freedom of speech". She has been accused of being arrogant, self-righteous, judgemental, and hypocritical.

She calmly responds with something like "I am sorry you feel that way but I will not apologize for my belief that you are going to hell. But I still want us to be friends. Unless you are too offended by my condemnation of you. I am just being a good Christian."

Yeah. She is one of those people I would like to shake some sense into!

We Mormons are accused of not reading the Bible and not being "real" Christians all the time. It drives me crazy! I try not to let it get to me, really, I do. But if my friend and people like her are examples of what a  "real" Christian is then I don't want to be one.

Here's why.

In the Book of Mormon, Alma, a prophet, teaches his son how to share ones beliefs. Alma 38:11-12 counsels "See that ye are not lifted up unto pride; yea, see that ye do not boast in your own wisdom, nor of your much strength. Use boldness, but not overbearance; and also see that ye bridle all your passions, that ye may be filled with love;..."

Beating someone over the head is not going to work. When we become overly passionate, we are no longer filled with love but other, more destructive emotions. How would a loving person share their beliefs?

Paul explained it very well. In 1 Corinthians 13 he said

Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, and have not charity, I am become as sounding brass, or a tinkling cymbal. 

And though I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries, and all knowledge; and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, and have not charity, I am nothing. 

And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned, and have not charity, it profiteth me nothing. 

Charity suffereth long, and is kind;

charity envieth not;

charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up, 

Doth not behave itself unseemly,

seeketh not her own,

is not easily provoked,

thinketh no evil; 

Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth; 

Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things. 

Charity never faileth

What Paul is saying is that we have to be patient and loving as we share the Gospel. It is a more eloquent way of saying "You catch more flies with honey than vinegar."

We can try all kinds of tricks and schemes to attract people to our churches. Some might work, at least in the short term. But they will likely fail.

Charity never fails. When we have charity, we succeed. We NEVER fail when we are motivated by charity. Paul goes on to say "When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things." Could it be that the petty, fault-finding, self-important attitudes we so often nurture are childish? Are all the parties and bands and incentives just shallow gestures? Do our uncharitable actions  need to be put away?

What else do we know about charity? In Colossians 3:14 we learn that charity is "the bond of perfectness."

In 1 Corinthians 8:1 we learn that "charity edifieth".

We know that charity takes work. "add to your faith virtue; and to virtue knowledge; And to knowledge temperance; and to temperance patience; and to patience godliness; And to godliness brotherly kindness; and to brotherly kindness charity." (2 Peter 1:7) Our faith does not automatically bring us to charity. It is a progression that, unfortunately, few are willing to make.

Maybe the problem is that we misunderstand what "charity" means. Moroni explains in Moroni 7:47-48

But charity is the pure love of Christ, and it endureth forever; and whoso is found possessed of it at the last day, it shall be well with him. Wherefore, my beloved brethren, pray unto the Father with all the energy of heart, that ye may be filled with this love, which he hath bestowed upon all who are true followers of his Son, Jesus Christ; that ye may become the sons of God; that when he shall appear we shall be like him, for we shall see him as he is; that we may have this hope; that we may be purified even as he is pure. (empasis added)

Charity is loving others, ALL others, as Christ loves them. Would Christ tell a classmate he didn't want to play with them because they didn't believe in him? Would he tell atheist they were going to hell? Would he force anyone to believe in him?

How should a true follower of Christ show their faith?

Whose Light Is It, Anyway?

My first real job was at a department store in my little hometown. I lived on one side of town and the store was on the other. Most of the time I worked days but once in a while I had to take the evening shift.

Now, there were several ways to get home from this part of town. I usually took the interstate. It was fast and impersonal but did the job. I could take the longer, more circuitous route through the country back roads. I could also drive the leisurely route through our tiny downtown.

One night, as I left work, I decided to take this calm, quiet, downtown path home. I drove down the well-lit streets at a creeping 30 miles per hour. There were almost no other cars on the road. I reminisced about my childhood in the these quiet streets, noting the landmarks of my personal history and that of my family.

After several minutes, I turned away from the lights of town onto the state highway leading to my home. I  found myself in almost complete darkness! Even the instrument panel was dark! I could not see where I was going at all!

I frantically tried to figure out what had happened. Had the lights burned out? Was there something wrong with the battery? Had I lost power to the car?

I reached for the light switch, thinking I would turn them off and back on, only to discover that I had not turned on the lights in the first place!

I had been driving for almost 10 minutes with NO LIGHTS!!!  NONE! Well, no lights of my own, anyway.

I realized I had been guided by the bright light of the streetlamps and other exterior lights along the city streets. When I left those lights, I had none of my own to lead me home.

This was a very sobering experience. I had often heard the counsel to "have your own light", meaning to have your own testimony of the Gospel. I felt I had done that, or at least I was working on it. But this experience suggested something deeper to me.

There might be times in my life when my own light is not urgently necessary to see the way. The path is clearly marked and there is plenty of light. If I neglect my own light during these times, I will not be ready when a sudden turn in the road leads me to a less-travelled path.

In the years following this experience, I have found myself on many unfamiliar roads. At times, I continued along without concern, my light was bright and the course well lit. At other times I have found myself unprepared for the darkness in which I suddenly found myself. The dimness of my own light and lack of light from other sources made that part of the journey difficult.

During some of these moments I have thought "I wish I was somewhere with more light." Or "I wish the people around me had brighter light to make this easier." My pride would not allow me to admit that if my own light had been stronger I would not be struggling as much.

One more lesson came from this experience. No matter how bright the headlights or lights of the city around me, they pale in comparison to the light of the sun. Since that night, I have marveled many times at the contrast between day and night as I drive that familiar road home. During the day I can make the turns quickly and without a conscious thought. That dark night, I would not have been able to continue without using my own lights. I might have made it but the trip would have been slow and harrowing.

I wish I could say I have learned my lesson but I haven't. I still find myself unprepared for some of the darker roads of life. It takes constant work and attention. Sometimes I am distracted my other cares and don't realize just how dark it is becoming. But I have learned that it's never too late to turn on the lights and find your way home!

Letting Go

A few years ago, I found myself facing a unique challenge. I was one of the women in charge of teaching the children at church. A young girl from our church died in a car accident. It was a Saturday. The next morning I would be facing a room full of children, many of whom would be experiencing this kind of loss for the first time. I can't express the weight I felt at this task. I spent the night pleading with the Lord for guidance. I didn't sleep much but I know I did sleep...because I had this dream....

I was hiking up a trail. It was a hot, sunny day. Other hikers were on the trail. I was carrying a backpack. After a while, I became hot and tired and decided to stop for a short rest.

As I sat by the trail, a man stopped in front of me. He was wearing a wide-brimmed hat. The sun was behind him and his face was hidden in shadow.

"Don't sit there too long or you'll never get to the top." he said in a friendly voice.

I was a little irritated that this stranger was interrupting my break. Not wanting to seem rude, I replied "I'm just taking a break"

The man looked down at the pack lying by my feet. "That's going to slow you down. Why not let me take it for you?"

Again, I was irritated. That was my pack. I wasn't going to just hand it over!

"That's okay." I said curtly. "There isn't much in there. I can handle it."

"I don't think so. " He said, a sad tone in his voice. "That pack will get heavier as you keep going. Eventually it will become too heavy for you. It will keep you from reaching the top."

After a pause he added, "I can carry it for you. Then you can make it."

I looked at the man closely. I noticed for the first time that he had a huge mound of packs on his back.

"No," I said again "It looks like you have a lot to carry already. I will carry my own pack." I was feeling a little insulted by this man. Was he saying I was too weak to carry my own weight?

The man sighed. "Well, do you mind if I look in your pack? See what's so important to you?"

I didn't want to show him but I sat quietly while he opened the pack and reached inside. He pulled out a large, heavy stone. On the stone was a photo of the young girl who had recently passed away. I felt my chest tighten as I saw her picture.

"This is your pain." he said solemnly, placing the stone on the ground.

He reached into the pack again and pulled out another stone, similar to the first. "This is your grief." he said and laid it next to the first. He reached into a side pocket and pulled out a handful of pebbles. "Sins." he said, almost amused. I looked away, feeling self-conscious.

"Well," He said, matter-of-factly, "These are heavy burdens. They will hold you back unless you let me carry them for you."

I felt panicked and desperate.

"I can't!" I said, choking back tears. "If I give it to you I will forget her!"

The man picked up one of the stones and took the photo off of it. "Here." He said "These are your memories. They're not heavy. You can carry they in your pocket. They won't slow you down at all. In fact, if you take that out and look at it from time to time it might even give you the motivation to keep going."

A feeling of relief and happiness flooded through me.

The man put the stones back in the pack. "So, can I take this for you?"

I nodded my consent.

He smiled and threw it on top of the others. "Don't sit there too long!' he said as he continued up the trail.


"Surely he hath borne our griefs, and carried our sorrows" Isaiah 53:4

"Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light." Matthew 11:28-30

Our Never-Ending Stories

I love stories.

I like science fiction with aliens and space travel and genetic mutations.

I like fantasy with its faeries and dragons and magical worlds.

I like mysteries and comedies and dramas.

I like silly kids stories with talking animals or cars or flowers.

What I love most are personal stories. I think that is why I enjoy blogs so much. I want to hear the real, true stories of real people. I love them all. I love stories about their kids and their struggles and their triumphs. I love the spiritual moments and the silly ones.

I also like history. I don't care much about the dates. I like the stories of groups of people. The stories of places from long ago.


I think that  is why I enjoyed Europe so much. I felt like I was living in the middle of history. Everywhere I went I saw evidence of the stories I had learned in school or read about in books. Since we lived in Germany and Belgium I became quite familiar with WWII. The reality of that war, the devastation and heartache, became so much more meaningful. I could imagine what the people must have felt as the battles were waged all around them.

I also wondered about my grandfather. He was an American soldier in WWII. I know almost nothing about his time in service; a few dates, countries, his little unit in a huge army. But I don't know his story. He passed away before I cared enough to ask.

We might say something like "I guess we'll never know" or "That knowledge died with him". Those kinds of phrases are so common I even find myself saying them. But they simply are not true.

I will get to hear those stories someday. And my grandpa's war stories aren't the only ones! I will get to ask my great grandma about having twins in the 1920's. I can ask Granny Ball (my 3rd great grandma) about her conversion to the LDS church. I can ask my German ancestors about their immigration to America in the 1600's. I can hear about the lives of all those who have gone on before me.

And that's not all! I can hear about their experiences in the Spirit World! Since the veil of forgetfulness will be lifted we can even swap stories about our pre-mortal lives!

Are you as eager as I am!!!! The thought of these story-telling reunions is more exciting than any film debut or season finale that Hollywood can conceive!

This is why the great Plan of Happiness is so thrilling to me. This is why the Atonement is such a precious gift. Without it, our stories would end, lost forever in the grasp of death and hell and darkness. Because of Jesus Christ, we can go on. Our stories will continue. Forever and ever!

Resurrection

My husband and I were asked to speak in church yesterday, Easter Sunday. Normally, I like speaking in church. (I know, I'm weird!) But I haven't given a talk in a long time. I was so nervous I felt sick. In fact, I was tempted to run out a few times!

I guess the reason I was so nervous is because I knew the deep significance of this message. I didn't want to get it wrong. I read a lot in preparation. I spent some time pondering. It wasn't that I didn't know the subject matter. I just wanted to be clear and accurate.

In preparing for this talk, and especially as I delivered it, I came to know an important truth about myself: I have an unshakable testimony of the truth of the Resurrection. This was quite a shock to me.

I have been exposed to death many times in my life. I have been to countless funerals for relatives and  friends. My mom even took me to graveyards as a kid looking for family history information. Nothing about death scares me.

President David O. McKay described death as a kind of sleep.

Resurrection and Spring are happily associated, not that there is anything in nature exactly analogous to the resurrection, but there is so much which suggests an awakening thought. Like the stillness of death Old Winter has held all vegetable life in his grasp, but as Spring approaches the tender life-giving power of heat and light compels him to relinquish his grip, and what seems to have been dead comes forth in newness of life, refreshed, invigorated, strengthened after a peaceful sleep.


So it is with man. What we call death Jesus referred to as sleep. “Lazarus sleeps,” he said to his disciples [see John 11:11]. “The damsel sleepeth,” were his comforting words to the bereaved and sorrowing parents of a little girl [see Mark 5:39]. Indeed, to the Savior of the world there is no such thing as death—only life—eternal life. Truly he could say, “I am the Resurrection and the Life. He that believeth in me though he were dead, yet shall he live.” [John 11:25.]

Death is temporary. It is a pause in life's journey. Our spirit and body will be reunited someday. We will also live again. 1 Corinthians 15:22 teaches, "For as in Adam all die, even so in Christ shall all be made alive." ALL, everyone of us, everyone who had a mortal body will be resurrected. Jesus broke the bonds of death so that we all might live again. President Joseph F. Smith explained,

Death came upon us without the exercise of our agency; we had no hand in bringing it originally upon ourselves; it came because of the transgression of our first parents. Therefore, man, who had no hand in bringing death upon himself, shall have no hand in bringing again life unto himself; for as he dies in consequence of the sin of Adam, so shall he live again, whether he will or not, by the righteousness of Jesus Christ, and the power of his resurrection. Every man that dies shall live again.

As I have said, I have been exposed to death many times. While I don't look forward to that separation from those I love, In accept that it is inevitable. Whether they die first or I do, we will be separated by death for a time. But it is only temporary. We will not only see and know one another as spirits we will be restored to our bodies, a perfected, immortal form of this mortal body. Death will be but a memory. It can not touch us again.

What peace and assurance this brings! My mom has sometimes accused me of being abnormal. She has felt that I did not react appropriately when someone died. I have always disagreed. I thought it was just my practical reasoning. "They are no longer suffering" or "They are in God's hands now." "They have moved on to the next stage of the Plan and we will see them again one day."

It wasn't until yesterday that I realized these are not just pretty, soothing words. Not to me. I know these things are true with an assurance I can not describe. I know it like I know there is a sun. There is no doubt in my mind. NONE!

I am humbled to have this assurance. I realize that not everyone has this, even among the Latter-Day Saints. That"s why I am sharing this with you. I know that Jesus Christ died and was Resurrected. I know that each of us will be resurrected because of him. I am so grateful for this precious gift. When I think of it I want to shout it from the rooftops!

I bear solemn testimony of this, in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.