Greatness: God VS The World

"For my thoughts are not your thoughts,

neither are your ways my ways, saith the Lord.

For as the heavens are higher than the earth,

so are my ways higher than your ways,

and my thoughts than your thoughts."

Isaiah 55:8-9

 

 

 

 

I love adventure stories. Movies, TV shows, books. Fantasy, Science Fiction, History. Anything that illustrates excitement, action, heroism. The characters (or real people in the case of a historical event) might not become well-known for their efforts but they do something that touches many lives. They save the world, defeat the bad guy, restore the balance of power, etc.

Sometimes they are underdog stories. A lowly person becomes a great ruler. A struggling student becomes accomplished in their field of study. A nobody becomes a somebody.

The string running through all of these stories is that all of the hero accomplish something the world recognizes as great. Maybe their efforts are unheralded by the world at large during their lifetime. Maybe the character's deeds are unknown in his make-believe world.  But to us, the audience, the students of the past, the listeners of their stories, they accomplish something extraordinary.

In my younger days, I looked at my life through a fog of possibilities. My future was an exciting mystery. I could be anything, do anything. Many people in my circle of influence told me that I would do great things some day.

As a Latter-Day Saint youth, I often heard quotes and council from leaders heralding the great work my generation would accomplish. I heard the stories of the restoration and pioneers trek west, the building of Zion and their baptism by fire as they struggled and suffered. I heard these people described as "great" and their efforts as "mighty". I envisioned mythic figures, bold and brave as they ran forward towards any task.

My own life is not over, of course, but it is not exactly what I expected either. It is messy and mundane and frustrating and complicated. I often feel that I have not lived up to expectations. I am supposed to accomplish great things and I'm stuck here in this house with a bunch of kids and an endless list of chores. Major fail, right?

Through the eyes of age, I see the heroic stories of the past with a little less glitter. I can imagine the pain and heartache associated with their trials. I know how difficult their choices must have been at the time. I realize how frightening life must have been at times. And I realize there were many days filled with the messy and mundane. No one escapes that.

"But I am supposed to do something great. My life has a special mission!"

And what might that be, exactly?

The world tells us greatness and success in life must be like those stories I love. We have to be the underdog who fights until he wins. We have to become famous for something. We have to do something that changes lives.

Right?

I recently read this story from "Teachings Of The Presidents Of The Church: Lorenzo Snow". As a member of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles, Lorenzo Snow received word that a friend's daughter had passed away. He immediately went to their home and gave the child a priesthood blessing.

During the administration I was particularly impressed with some of the words which he used and can well remember them now. He said: ‘Dear Ella, I command you, in the name of the Lord, Jesus Christ, to come back and live, your mission is not ended. You shall yet live to perform a great mission.’ He said she should yet live to rear a large family and be a comfort to her parents and friends. I well remember these words.
 

The daughter was soon revived. And what of her "great mission"?

When Ella had been in the spirit world, she had felt such peace and happiness that she had not wanted to return. But she obeyed the voice of President Snow. From that very day, she comforted family members and friends, helping them understand that they did not need to mourn for their loved ones who had died. Later she married, had eight children, and served faithfully in her Church callings.
 

That's it? She comforted people. She had 8 kids. She served faithfully. The end.

What? She was raised from the dead for that? She didn't become the first woman president or a famous artist? She didn't find a cure for some horrible disease? Did her kids do something important? Come on! Give me something to work with here! What kid of ending is that?

That's what the world would say, isn't it? That story is a let down from a worldly perspective.

But not to our Heavenly Father. What does he call "great"?

At the same time came the disciples unto Jesus, saying,  Who is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven? And Jesus called a little child unto him, and set him in the midst of them, And said, Verily I say unto you, Except ye be converted, and become as little children, ye shall not enter into the kingdom of heaven. Whosoever therefore shall humble himself as this little child, the same is greatest in the kingdom of heaven. (Matt. 18:1-4)

 

 

But he that is greatest among you shall be your servant. And whosoever shall exalt himself shall be abased; and he that shall humble himself shall be exalted. (Matt. 23:11)

 

 

Master, which is the great commandment in the law? Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. This is the first and great commandment. And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself. (Matt. 22:36)

Wherefore, be not weary in well-doing, for ye are laying the foundation of a great work. And out of small things proceedeth that which is great. (D&C 64:33)

 

 

Remember the worth of souls is great in the sight of God...And if it so be that you should labor all your days ... and bring, save it be one soul unto me, how great shall be your joy with him in the kingdom of my Father! And now, if your joy will be great with one soul that you have brought unto me into the kingdom of my Father, how great will be your joy if you should bring many souls unto me! (D&C 18:16)

 

 

 

The scriptures contain hundreds of references to Heavenly Father's definition of greatness. Obedience, humility, love, service to others, these are what make us great in his eyes. Motherhood embodies them all.

 

Next time you feel that you have somehow failed because you are wiping noses instead of curing cancer or battling for world peace, take a step back and look at yourself through heaven's eyes. What will you see?

 

Superpowers 101: Finding 4-Leaf Clovers

Since I was a kid I have had a knack for finding 4-leaf clovers. I remember the first time I found one. I was outside talking with a playmate. I happened to look down at the grass and something didn't look right. I reach down and grabbed the offending clover and was shocked to find it was real!

I have found that certain places seem prone to these rarities. Our yard in Tennessee was filled with them! We found so many they actually started to loose their appeal. The kids would pick them and give them to their friends. "Here. This is for you because you are my special friend." Their friends would gasp and hug them and be amazed at such a special gift. Then they would say to me late. "They don't know we can get more any time we want!"

What little cons!

Even though I have found many 4 leaf clovers throughout my life, they still hold a special place in my heart. I still get a tiny thrill each time I see one. They remind me of the subtle beauty in all of Heavenly Father's creations. 

Can you find the 4-leaf clovers in these pictures from our yard? (some have more than one!)

 

The Value of Small Things

 

 

Somehow, for some reason, we mortals get it into our heads that we must do amazing things to make a valuable contribution to the world. Average, ordinary people doing the simple and mundane tasks of everyday life might feel their efforts don't matter.

 

We are led to believe that if the world doesn't remember us than we are not worth remembering. And if that is true than our efforts, our dreams, our accomplishments, our sufferings all are for naught.

 

Over the past few month I have been reminded of the fleeting nature of life. I have been reminded of the fickle fancies of fame and recognition. I have also been reminded that this is a worldy, mortal perspective; not an eternal one.

 

I have spent many months researching my family history. I scanned hundreds of old photographs and compiled many of them onto a DVD for my family. During all this research I kept looking for something noteworthy. I was secretly hoping to find that I was descended from someone important; a historical figure, an artist, an inventor, a writer, a rebel. It didn't really matter what or who.

 

It was subtle at first. I didn't even consciously realize it. But after months of research, finding solid connections from one generation to antoher, I was still disappointed.

 

I realized that I was really searching for validation, a legacy of somekind, to give me... I don't know what. Motivation? Something to live up to? Bragging rights?

 

I found that I share a common ancestor with Benedict Arnold. Yay. According to Ancestry.com's Famous Relative Finder I probably share common ancestors with twelve presidents, numerous actors and actresses, inventors, writers, and politicians. But none of that really means anything to me. Being 10th cousin twice removed to Walt Disney and Julia Child does not make me artistic or a good cook.

What does bring meaning to my life?

Having children? No. Not completely. I mean, yes, bringing a new life into the world is meaningful but plenty of people do that without making it a meaningful expereince.

Being a caregiver? Could be. But again, many people fuill this role and are as faceless and forgotten as strangers.

Teaching? Again, no.

Coaching a team?

Cleaning the house?

Caring for the sick?

All valuable, meaningful efforts but often forgettable.

That's the point, isn't it?

Those millions of tiny,  pebbles build into a mountain of good.







 

And The Award Goes To...

I have been blogging for almost 3 years.

I have sobbed, big, fat tears, as I literally poured out my heart on these pages.

I have laughed at my own jokes.

I have stared at a screen, fingers poised over the keys, waiting for inspiration.

I have rolled my eyes at my own impertinence. "How dare I think I am a Super Woman!"

Yes, I have traveled the gambit of emotions from one end to the other more than once. And yet I have never, not EVER, been given a blog award.

Oh, the pain of rejection!!!! Woe is me!!!

Okay. Fine. Who cares? Who wants a stupid award anyway? I don't need recognition to feel validated! I am a mature, intelligent woman. I am overflowing with self-worth. I have progressed far beyond the need for such trifles....

"Congratulations! You have been nominated for the





This is an award for beloved blogs with under 200 followers. It is awarded by fellow bloggers. A jury of your peers. (It means someone likes you)."




In the words of my roommate, Wo,

WAHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
(Happy Dance, Happy Dance!)

I'm sorry, what was I saying?


Oh, yes...

First a great big THANK YOU! to Kayli at This LDS Military Wife for giving me this award. You Rock!

Now, it is my turn to pass along this honor to 5 other deserving bloggers.

Kristi at Extraordinary Moments In An Ordinary Life
LisAway at Away From It All
Cheryl at Happy Meets Crazy
Kate at My Kids Eat Off The Floor
Ashley at Life In Between


I could add a few more. It really is hard to choose just 5. But these are all blogs that I look forward to reading. I hope you enjoy them, too!

Superwoman's Weaknesses: Pity Parties

I have been trying to throw myself a pity party.

Really.

I have tried and tried but I just can't seem to do it.

Each time something new goes wrong (which is a minimum of once a day)I try really hard to feel sorry for myself.

I think horrible things like "This never would have happened if I hadn't been watching TV."

Or "I deserve this because I am such a terrible mother."

Or "If I read my scriptures more this stuff wouldn't be happening to me."

How about "If I were thinner I wouldn't have this problem."

"Nobody cares about me!"

"I am such a failure!"




Now, I might think these things for a little while. I might skulk around the house snarling at the kids for up to a few hours. But it just doesn't stick.

My home teacher show up.

I get a call or email from a friend out of the blue.

A scripture comes to mind that tells me the exact opposite of what I am telling myself.

I force myself to go to church and people ask how I am doing and help me with my kids and make me feel like the most loved person in the world.

Occasionally I simply get a little internal reprimand like "Knock it off! You know better! Now suck it up and get busy. You have work to do."

Those are some of my favorite moments. I kind of like a good butt-kickin' pep talk once in a while.

Sometimes I think I might be kind of fishing for compliments in those down moments. Could it be that I am in need of a little attention and that is why I get sulky and moody?

Maybe once in a while but usually I try to hide those moments from the world. My kids might see them more often than I care to acknowledge but other people are hopefully oblivious.

Once in a rare while I can't quite keep it in.

I was having one of those moments tonight. I had made cookies for the ward Christmas party and put them into the freezer so the frosting would set. When I opened the door a few moment later the cookies came crashing out to the floor and broke.

Let's just say that was the cookie that broke the camel's back. The dam that held back all the intensity and pressure of the past few weeks crumbled like those cookies and I LOST IT!!!

I was actually having a pretty good day before that happened. I had made the most amazing rolls ever! My kids actually got to go play outside.

Now I was sobbing uncontrollably. I could feel all the strain and heartache squeezing out of me like...I'll spare you from the graphic imagery. Just know that the toxic poisons were leaving and I actually felt some relief.

But as those initial flood-waters receded, I was left feeling devastated.

I decided to go to the Ward- Christmas party anyway. Several people spoke to me and asked how I was, not in a casual way but in a genuine, specific way. One person even called me "my friend" which meant so much in that lonely moment of grief. I also won a door prize.

I was going to skip the party. I was going to watch Glee for hours and ignore my kids and wallow in the fact that I am a total loser. I could so easily have thrown a HUGE and amazing pity party.

But I didn't. My kids and the Spirit and my ward family just wouldn't let me!

Superwoman VS Dullness

I recently read an article criticizing the the new "I'm a Mormon" videos as being unrealistic. The article explained that most Mormons are not that interesting.

"Sadly, as a whole we are far less interesting than what the ads have masterfully conveyed. Generally speaking, we are collectively a boring people. We might try to mix it up — sometimes serving ethnic fare at our ward dinners or altering the tempo of a hymn, but for the most part, as a group, we are steadfast, obedient, charitable, fertile and a bit dull." (http://www.ldsliving.com/redirect/story/64167-life-portrayed-in-mormon-ads-not-consistent-with-reality)

My response: Speak for yourself! Maybe Mormons in Utah have a kind of  cookie-cutter quality. There might be a bit of the can't-see-the-forest-for-the-trees effect. But there are just under 2 million members in Utah, less than 1/7 of the world's LDS population.

I have lived in 3 countries and know Latter-Day Saints from many others. I have lived in several states and have probably known at least one person from every state...except possibly Rhode Island. I have even lived in Utah, in the community among the normal, non-BYU student population. I have to say that I have yet to meet a dull Mormon.

Maybe that is just my personality. Maybe I just see interesting because I am looking for it. Maybe I have a simpler way of deciding what is interesting and what isn't. Maybe I am easily entertained.

I don't think so. When I first read the aforementioned article, I started thinking of the interesting people I have met. It was like an instant slide show as faces and memories flashed through my mind. I thought "What an idiot. Doesn't his person have anything better to gripe about?"

I thought of the many members I have known who could be described as "characters"; the man with the eyeball tattoo on the back of his head, the woman who wore a Dolly Parton style wig and earrings that brushed her shoulders, the musicians, the artists, the recovering alcoholics, the veterans, the monotone speakers, the tone-deaf singers, the criers, the laughers, the bikers, the snobs and the nerds, the jocks and the scholars. The diversity among the LDS people is vast. We are not dull! Not by any stretch of the imagination!

To me, the point of the "I'm a Mormon" videos is to show our diversity. They show that Mormons come from all walks of life. We experience every challenge and joy in life. Converts need not be ashamed of their quirks. The sacrifices of discipleship need not include our interests and talents.

I challenge anyone who agrees with the sentiments of that article to try making their own "I'm a Mormon" video, just for fun. What would you tell people about yourself? What makes you interesting?

If you can't think of anything then maybe you have some work to do; not on becoming more interesting but on seeing yourself differently. I can tell you right now you ARE interesting. There is no one in the world like you!

Superpowers 101: Making a Decision

Proverbs says "train up a child in the way he should go and when he is old he will not depart from it." What a wonderful truth! I grew up a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. Spencer W. Kimball was the president of the the church during part of my childhood. Even as a young child I felt the great love between this prophet of God and the church members. Although he died when I was 9 years old, his counsel has always had special significance for me.

One piece of advice that has been priceless to me is this: “Develop discipline of self so that, more and more, you do not have to decide and redecide what you will do when you are confronted with the same temptation time and time again. You need only to decide some things once. How great a blessing it is to be free of agonizing over and over again regarding a temptation. To do such is time-consuming and very risky." Decide ahead of time what you will do. He seemed to give this counsel often, or at least I heard it often. As a youth, it always meant keeping the Word of Wisdom or the Law of Chastity. Over time, I realized that it had much simpler applications.

During my teenage years I often felt like an oddball. I didn't seem to really fit in anywhere. That may have been normal teenage insecurities. I had friends, many of whom are still valued friends today. I also felt unwanted by certain youth leaders at church. It seemed my birthday was forgotten every year. I was usually overlooked for "cool" assignments like youth conference planning committee or Girls Camp youth leader. Many times I was tempted to just forget about church. Who wants to be in a place where they are not wanted?

Fortunately, my stubbornness prevailed. I had gotten it into my head that one leader in particular didn't like me and was trying to get rid of me. I decided to attend every activity I possibly could to "get her back". On a deeper level, I told myself that whether or not I was delusional and paranoid about this person, Satan was the one who really didn't want me there. And I was not about to let him win.

I decided at that young age that no matter what I would go to church. That might seem silly but over the years it has become one of those foundation stones that I can cling to in rough times. In college, I had a period of time when I didn't have a calling (assignment). I felt so useless. I felt that if the Lord didn't need me, why go at all. I fought this feeling and soon I was happily serving in a church calling.

I was again tempted to avoid church when we were first married. We were in a new, large city. We attended a large ward where people came and went all the time thanks to 2 nearby military installations. We had our first child 9 months after we got married and just 5 short weeks later my husband was halfway around the world. I realized that we didn't know many people. Looking back, I did really well under the circumstances. But it still felt lonely. One Sunday I woke up with a pulled muscle in my back and didn't go to church. No one called. No one asked me why I wasn't there the next week. And I was the Relief Society Pianist!!! (Not that I was very good at it!) I felt lost in the crowd. Even so, I had a few memorable spiritual experiences there because of my willingness to keep going.

The last experience I will share with you came a few years ago when we lived in Germany. I loved our ward and the members. I enjoyed going to church there and I learned SO much during those years. But they were NOT easy! We had only been there a few months when the World Trade Center was attacked. In the following years my husband deployed a total of 3 times. We also had 3 more children there, including twins. There were plenty of times when I went to church and spent the entire time in the hallway or nursery with disruptive children. It wasn't that they were bad. They were young and there was only one of me.

Sometimes I thought "what's the point? Why am I putting myself and my children through this?" But the same stubborn tenacity of my youth took over. I was determined to be there every week no matter what. I recognized that this was the only thing I really did for myself, that I spent most of my time at home with the children like a hermit, and that I desperately needed whatever blessings the Lord was going to give me for my effort.

I adopted the motto "What else have you got to do?" and said it over and over when I was tempted to stay home. I was tremendously blessed. I was always able to find babysitters for meetings. Members seemed to just show up offering the exact thing I needed whether it was companionship or help with housework or entertaining the kids. I was always amazed at what they were willing to do, like it was nothing to them when it was everything to me. I also had callings that required me to study the scriptures, attend stake training mettings, and otherwise learn and grow spiritually. I attribute all of these blessings to my choice to go to church.

Another piece of counsel from President Kimball sums up what I am trying to say.  On his desk was a sign that said DOn't quIT. Two short phrases, so linked together, that say so much.

Recognizing Your Motivation

Several years ago my husband deployed to Iraq for a year. We had 4 small children at the time and were living in Germany. It was a difficult year. Although I had more support than I could have hoped for I often felt alone and forgotten.

I tried to make things as memorable as possible for the children, taking them to see local attractions, enrolling them in sports, and attending community activities. They were too young to appreciate my efforts. As the year was drawing to a close, I felt completely drained. I needed an ego boost but almost everyone I knew was in the same boat, too weary to lift and encourage someone else.

Halloween was just around the corner. I considered avoiding the holiday altogether, knowing the children would probably not remember missing it. If I did take them trick-or-treating I would have to use my large, double stroller for my twins or we would never make it past the parking lot.

As I thought about the logistics, I had a burst of inspiration. I could make the stroller into a covered wagon and dress the children as pioneers! The front seat of the stroller was made to be turned around, facing the rear seat. I covered it with a large piece of light-colored fabric and used a cardboard box to make a "wooden" wagon and wheels. I dressed one child in a flannel shirt and overalls, the easiest costume I ever made. I had a gingham dress, complete with a bonnet, that had been mine as a child. I dressed the older 2 children as a cow and a horse, to walk beside the wagon and "pull it". It all turned out just as I imagined. I don't think I have ever been more proud of myself!

On Halloween, I took the chilren out into the neighborhood and started our journey. At first they were excited to get candy and see all the other costumes. We lived on post, at one end of the houseing area. I started down the sidewalk, pushing my wagon and leading my "animals". Everyone loved it. We were stopped by strangers to have our pictures taken. We heard countless "wow"s and dozens of other compliments. It was wonderful!

After about 45 minutes, the kids had had enough. They were complaining and tired. We had barely covered one side of the street. Despite their protests, I dragged them on, up one street and down the other until we had cover the entire housing area. I had exposed my children and my brilliant costume idea to every person I possibly could. My ego had been stroked so much it glowed! I was sure my children felt the same way. Afterall, they were the ones getting the attention. Right?

As I dragged them up to our apartment, weary and worn, their costumes hanging at odd angles from their tired bodies, my 3 year old said "Mommy, don't ever make me do that again." My balloon was popped. Or at least it had a leak. I was irriated that they had not enjoyed themselves more, especailly after all the effort I had made for them.

That nagging little voice in the back of my head snear and said "Oh really? You did it for them? Are you sure?" I thought about this as I changed them into pajamas, rubbing their hands and feet to get them warm and putting them straight to bed, too tired to even look at their spoils. "You're right." I admitted to the voice. "I did it for me. For the attention. I was showing off." I still felt good, floating on a wave of praise for my ingenuity. I am still proud of that idea today. But I learned a very valuable lesson, too.

I learned that night that not everything I do for my children is really for them. I was reminded of a favorite quote, "give them what they need, not what you want to give them." What wonderful advice. My children didn't need candy or costumes or the admiration of strangers. They needed a mother who didn't put her own needs first, who listened to what they had to say, and sometimes made sacrifices for them.

Don't get the wrong idea, I have never been so self-centered as to neglect the children...not completely. And I made plenty of sacrifices for them. What I learned was not to hide my own self-interest behind a guise of caring for my children. I am sure I still do it from time to time. Nobody's perfect!

How to "do it all"

I have to say that the question "How do you do it all?" can be one of the most infuriating questions I have been asked. I guess it depends on who is asking. When the question comes from a woman with two kids who is working, going for her master's degree, volunteering in various programs, going to the gym 5 times a week, and paying a maid and a day care center to do all the "hard" stuff, the urge to slap her can be hard to resist.

Someone said to me several years ago that the best answer to that question is "I don't". That is the truth, too. There are only 24 hours in a day. There is only so much one person can do with those hours. Sleeping and eating take up a big chunk of that. Cooking and cleaning and doing all the other little things that keep your family running take up even more of your time. If you have small children, your hours are devoured by changings, feedings, cleanings, and (if you are lucky) cuddling.


There are worse ways to spend a day. Unfortunately we live in a society that puts incredible pressure on women to "live up to their potential". That is not bad advice but it isn't exactly good advice either. Who can determine what our potential is and whether or not we are living up to it? Besides that, a woman in her thirties isn't even half way through her life yet!



I have to admit that I feel that pressure to "prove myself" often. It isn't that I don't know motherhood is important. It is just...unglamorous. And it takes a while to get the hang of it. And it keeps changing because your kids grow up. And...well, you get the picture.

We don't make it easy on each other either. We show up other mothers all the time. Maybe it isn't our primary motive but it still happens. Haven't you ever spent hours making heart shaped cookies for your child's class party and felt just a twinge of satisfaction that yours were the talk of the first-grade? Or maybe you get up early to make sure your daughter has perfect curls for picture day. You might even make seemingly innocent comments to other mothers like "You mean you don't read to little Jimmy for an hour every night before he goes to bed?"


It may seem perfectly innocent from your perspective. After all, isn't that what "good mothers" do? A friend once asked me how she could be a good mother if she couldn't even make bread. My first reaction was "what on earth does making bread have to do with being a mother?" Yet when I got married the first thing I learn to make from my brand-new Betty-Crocker cookbook was bread rolls. Where on earth did that connection come from?


It isn't that we feel animosity for other mothers (usually) or that we want to put undue pressure on each other. It is simply the desire to be special. There is little about motherhood that makes you feel special...at least to the outside world. My most cherished moments are when my babies look at me with total and complete adoration. In that moment I know that I am the greatest thing in the world to them. In that moment, it doesn't matter that I don't have a degree, that I don't have a career, that I am... unexceptional. To that tiny, new life, I am everything.

How to protect your secret identity

Years ago, I heard a theory that we compare our inner self with the outer self of others. I have found this to be true, especially for women. We know EVERYTHING about ourselves but we only see our peers at church or the store or a kids baseball game. We only get glimpses of them. We don't know what is going on "behind the scenes".

Some women work very hard at protecting this image. They actually live in fear that someone might find out that they are human. Others, like me, try to maintain the image people have of us without being too deceptive.

For example, I have never been able to make brownies from scratch. They always turn out dry and hard. So if I bring brownies to a function they are probably from a mix. But I don't advertise that fact. If someone comes up to me and says, "These brownies are really good." I just smile and say "Thank you."

This might seem dishonest but it isn't. I did buy the mix, follow the directions, and bring the very tasty and edible brownies to the event. Not everyone can do that. You probably know someone who ruins everything they touch, including brownies from a mix. So I am deserving of the praise.

Now, if someone asked my for the recipe, I would have to confess the whole truth. My conscience wouldn't allow me to take FULL credit for the brownies. Sometimes people are disappointed, sometimes they are thrilled. The idea that yummy, moist brownies can be theirs so easily is a relief.

Another example came a few years ago at Thanksgiving. We had invited another family over who also had a bunch of little kids. The frazzled mother looked around our tidy house and said sadly, "How do you do it?" Now if it had been some career woman with one child and a housekeeper, I would have let her think I was some amazing person who could do everything. But I knew immediately that she needed the truth.

"I have been cleaning for a week!" I said "And my husband and kids helped. I mean, this is Thanksgiving and we knew you were coming. Of course we cleaned. It doesn't look like this everyday." Her shoulders relaxed and she smiled. "I guess your right." she said brightly. "Our house is this clean sometimes too."

The point is that while our friends may not need to know everything about us, sometimes they need the truth. It's okay to "reveal" ourselves from time to time. Sometimes it makes us even more "Super".

How to make things look better than they really are.

For my first post I thought I would talk about something that I took me a while to learn. In fact I
am STILL learning this but at least I know it is important. And that all important skill is... (Drum roll please) Presentation! Are you disappointed? You shouldn't be. Many people overlook this simple way of making things look better than they really are. I mean, a frozen pizza served on that little piece of cardboard it came with is not nearly as appetizing as a frozen pizza served on a serving platter.

It is especially easy to do this with food. When I was growing up my mom usually just put the pot on the table. I thought people only used serving dishes for parties or special occasions. When I got married my husband was horrified that I tried putting a pot of food on the table. I didn't get it but I indulged him. Now I am the one who insists on using a serving dish of some kind.

I first realized how much difference presentation makes a few years ago at a church service project. Everyone had brought "fixin's" for sandwiches and piled them on a table. We were moving to a new church building and were all busy cleaning out closets and taking loads of junk or garbage to various locations.

As lunch time approached, I noticed that the table was literally a pile of food so I stopped what I was doing and tried to organize it. I thought I had done a good job of sorting everything out. It wasn't pretty but it was functional.

About the time I was ready to go back to work an elderly sister came over to the table. "This won't do at all." she said with more enthusiasm than I appreciated. Then she proceeded to open the paper plates and began rolling slices of lunch meat. Another lady came to help us and in only a few minutes the table looked as though it had been catered.

I was beside myself with shock. Everyone commented on how nice it looked and how wonderful everything was. It was hard to imagine that this was the same table of food.

From then on I tried to think of how I could make something look better just by arranging it differently. I still don't have the hang of it. But I try.