Life Is A Battlefield

Life is a battlefield. (Doesn't that sound like a Pat Benatar song?) Seriously, though, I sometimes feel like I have spent my day fighting an unseen enemy, dropping into bed exhausted, only to wake up and do it all over again the next morning. Too dramatic? I think not.

During my first year of early-morning seminary, we studied the Book of Mormon. Our teacher got really excited about the so-called war chapters. He kept telling us that we were preparing for our own battles. He even went so far as to print T-shirts that said "Statesville Pre-Battle School" for us to wear as a seminary class. It felt a little much at the time but not exactly wrong either.

More than 20 years later, I see it. I see the war between good and evil raging around me. We have been warned for centuries that this day would come. Were we prepared?

It seems that some of these evils are so subtle, so unassuming, that they sneak up on us. We turn around and there they are, ready to strike.

I was feeling burdened by these thoughts last fall. I was feeling anxious about sending my children out into that battlefield. I wanted to keep them home, safe and hidden from the horrors of "war". Yet I struggled. How could they be a force for good if they were locked away in our fortress? How could we possibly defeat the enemy if we didn't go out to meet it?

This is where my mind was during Stake Conference in September 2013. The closing speaker was President Micheal Hamilton. He started talking about the rescue at Dunkirk. Suddenly, my mind was not on his talk but my own concerns for my children. My thoughts were filled with images and ideas as though they were being poured into me. Here is what I wrote in my notes:

We get injured and dirty in the fight against evil but we are on the winning side. We will heal, we will be clean again but we must fight. We can't hide in our pristine caves in the hopes of remaining unharmed and undamaged.

I kept remembering the Stripling Warriors. They were young men who chose to help defend their homes and freedoms. After one difficult battle, we learn

...there were two hundred, out of my two thousand and sixty, who had fainted because of the loss of blood; nevertheless, according to the goodness of God, and to our great astonishment, and also the joy of our whole army, there was not one soul of them who did perish; yea, and neither was there one soul among them who had not received many wounds. Alma 57:25 (emphasis added)

All were wounded but none were lost. I felt some-what reassured but I was still struggling with my fears and shortcomings. How could I ensure that my children would be able to survive this war? Another scripture came to mind.

...we talk of Christ, we rejoice in Christ, we preach of Christ, we prophesy of Christ, and we write according to our prophecies, that our children may know to what source they may look for a remission of their sins. 2 Nephi 25:26 (emphasis added)

That was it. The solution to my problem was already in place. I felt peace. Still a little afraid but no longer overwhelmed.

I have thought of this experience often in the past year. This month, the Ensign included an article about protecting our children against pornography. The first few paragraphs were so close to my experience that I had chills!

This past weekend we had Stake Conference again. In his closing remarks, President Hamilton said "Filth splashes on all of us. He doesn't care how pretty it is as long as we get back to him."

I used to think that if we were keeping the commandments, trying our best to do what is right, we would be safe from the spiritual dangers of this world. Now I know better. There may have been a time when it was easier to avoid the splash of filth. Not now, not today as we are preparing for the second coming of Christ. 

But that is no reason to loose hope. Our Heavenly Father knew these days would come. He knew what trials we would face. He prepared a way for us to overcome them. Through the Atonement of Jesus Christ we can all be cleaned and cured from every injury. Because of Him, there is no need to fear.

Who Exactly Are These So-Called "Experts"?

I have been blogging for about 3 1/2 years now. I get asked questions about parenting and kids and stuff like that and I wanted to 1) record those answers while I am still able to know what I am talking about and 2) make that information available to others.

Let's face it; none of us really know what we are doing. Parenting is a lot of trial and error. We learn some things from our parents and some things from our peers and some things through experience. Then there are the things we learn from "experts".

But just who are these so-called "experts"? Are they parents who have been in the thick of life, waging the daily battles against tantrums and messes? Probably not.

"Experts" are people who study what other parents do; in other words, they have a job. Even if these "studiers" have kids ( some don't!) their kids are probably in day care 40 + hours a week (or possibly have a nanny) so the parents are only with their own kids a few hours a day at most.

It is easy to put your kid to bed at the same time every night if you have to get up and be somewhere the next morning, day in day out, for their entire childhood.

It is easy to feed them healthy food if all you have to do is tell the person you are paying to do it or they will be fired.

It is easy to pay someone to potty train your child for you while you go off to research how other people do it.

I am sure there are lots of really dedicated parents out there who do the best they can with the time they have. I am not dissing them.

What I am gripping about is that so many people rely so heavily on what "experts" have to say. 

Why are we not looking to experienced parents for advice? Why are we not asking those in similar circumstances how to solve an issue? We rush to the "experts" for their advice instead. Why? You do realize that they change their mind about stuff ALL the time, right?

When my first child was born, I was the kind of parent I am describing. If the doctor didn't say he could eat it/do it/ wear it/use it I didn't even consider it. I was almost crippled by fear of doing the wrong thing. I didn't appreciate the advice I got from "experienced" mothers. They were outdated and possibly immune to the true needs of my precious baby.

Of course, when my youngest children were born, as little as 6 years later, I was often "corrected" by doctors and nurses who told me that "things have changed since then" and "we no longer recommend that". I was a ball of confusion. I was mortified that I was doing the "wrong" thing for my baby. I was ashamed that I had not stayed current on what was right for my children. And I was angry, very, VERY angry that I was made to feel this way by the very people I was supposed to rely on!

I came to realize that there is no magic bullet to destroy all the possible illnesses, injuries, and issues my child might have. Childhood research is a minefield of contradictory information. Let your child cry- Never let them cry. Vaccinate-Don't vaccinate. Bottle feed-Breastfeed. Keep them busy-Let them play. Drink milk- Avoid dairy. Eat grains-Avoid gluten. Eat vegetables and meat- But they might have diseases.

The real problem is that the "experts" lead us to believe that if we do the wrong thing disasters will ensue.

If our kids watch TV they will become violent idiots who will kill people but won't be able to confess because they will be too stupid to form complete sentences.

If you don't read to them they will never get a job and live with you for the rest of your life.

If you don't let them play sports they will never learn to work with others and grow up to be jerks.

If you don't expose them to art and music they will never have a creative thought and be mindless drones.

If they eat the wrong foods they might become allergic, or get food poisoning, or develop behavior issues, or have learning problems, or get really fat and all the issues that go along with that.

And it will ALL be YOUR fault!

Yes, I have issues with "experts". I admit that a part of me is really irritated that I have shared so much practical information on this public blog, exposing many of my own struggles and imperfections as a parent, and yet when an "expert" says the same thing it gets passed around the Internet like some kind of holy grail. I read these articles and thing"I wrote a post about that a while back." But apparently no one read it. Or they did and thought "Why should I listen to you? You're a nobody. But now that an "expert" has said it I will change my ways and do exactly what they say, (which is what you said months ago and I ignored you)."

There is some good information available, more than ever before. But sifting through it is a lot of work. And only rarely is there a disaster.

I have 2 friends with young adult children. I watched their kids grow up. The mothers have made very different choices. One bottle-fed, one breast-fed. One was strict, one was lenient. They both taught their kids right from wrong. Both fed their children, dressed them, sheltered them, corrected their behavior, taught them things. Loved them.

They have all turned out differently. I can see that sometimes it is because of the personalities of the children. Sometimes it is because of things the parents did or didn't do. Both mothers made choices that helped their kids. Both made choices that hurt their kids. Both did their best. All their kids grew up to be obnoxious, moody teenagers and fairly decent adults. No criminals, no disasters. Although they are all making their own mistakes now. It is part of life.

Why can't experts give advice like that? Love your kids. Help them. Teach them about the things you value. Be there for them when they make their own mistakes. And keep loving them.

Superpowers 101: Hand-Me-Downs

You might think pass clothes along to someone else is a pretty simple task. You out them in a bag and hand them over. Simple, right?

After years of sorting, sizing, repairing, and reusing kids clothes, I have learned that there is actually more to it than that. A lot more.

Whether you are buying new clothes with plans to pass them on later  or you have some hand-me-downs to sort through from someone else, here are a few tips to consider.

1.  Buy clothes that are durable. Some clothes are made poorly, whether it's thin fabric that wears out easily or poorly stitched seams. Durable clothes are often more expensive but not always. For example, I have had great success with store brand jeans that are made with thicker denim.

2. Avoid trends. Some trends last; princesses and superheros are going to be around for a while. Some trends are just a flash in the pan. I once gave in and bought my daughter a High-School Musical jacket. It was on clearance and she had been begging for it. Within a few months the fad was gone and she didn't want to wear it. Neither did her younger sister. If I had held on to it for my youngest daughter would she wear it today? No. It would definitely be outdated and scream "HAND-ME-DOWN!!!"

3. The fewer frills the better. This is especially true of clothes for small kids. They grow so quickly their clothes rarely wear out. I had several pair of pants for toddlers that I used for boys and girls. They were plain and simple so no one can tell the difference.

4. Clothes shrink over time. I can't tell you how many times I have bought a shirt or pants for a child based on what they were wearing, only to discover that the clothes had shrunk and they really couldn't wear the size I purchased...yet!

5. Involve the kids in the process. Kids have different tastes. This is hard to accept sometimes. An outfit that one child loves, their sibling despises. Letting the kids help gives parents a better idea of what they like and why. Some of my kids were irritated by certain fabrics while others were not. When we have received clothes from others, sometimes we have opportunities to discuss modesty and what makes certain clothing inappropriate.

6. Plan for the future. Sometimes people give me clothes that no one can wear. If they are clean and in good condition ( and if I have the space) I keep them anyway. Kids grow quickly. Sooner or later someone will be able to wear them.

7. Shop your storage first. There have been a few instances where a child needed something like pants and I begrudgingly went out and bought brand new clothes to fill the need. A week or two later I went through our storage of kids clothes and found exactly what I had just purchased. In our case it wasn't a complete waste because those new clothes will be passed on to younger siblings. It is tempting to take the easier path and buy new clothes every time they need them. I still have to police myself and make sure I don't act on impulse when a little effort would save us money.

Keeping your kids dressed and presentable doesn't have to cost a fortune. Storing and organizing clothes takes a little effort but the savings are tremendous!

Superpowers 101: Finding 4-Leaf Clovers

Since I was a kid I have had a knack for finding 4-leaf clovers. I remember the first time I found one. I was outside talking with a playmate. I happened to look down at the grass and something didn't look right. I reach down and grabbed the offending clover and was shocked to find it was real!

I have found that certain places seem prone to these rarities. Our yard in Tennessee was filled with them! We found so many they actually started to loose their appeal. The kids would pick them and give them to their friends. "Here. This is for you because you are my special friend." Their friends would gasp and hug them and be amazed at such a special gift. Then they would say to me late. "They don't know we can get more any time we want!"

What little cons!

Even though I have found many 4 leaf clovers throughout my life, they still hold a special place in my heart. I still get a tiny thrill each time I see one. They remind me of the subtle beauty in all of Heavenly Father's creations. 

Can you find the 4-leaf clovers in these pictures from our yard? (some have more than one!)

 

Superpowers 101: A Good Night's Sleep

Many mothers believe that once their child is born they will never, EVER, sleep again.

NOT TRUE!

Newborns, of course, usually wake up every few hours to eat. That can't be helped. Older kids will have nightmares. Sickness inevitably strikes in the wee hours. Beyond that, adequate sleep is NOT just a distant fantasy for parents.

The first thing you have to do is take a good, hard look at your situation. It is very possible that the reason you aren't sleeping is you!

Are you insecure about your parenting abilities?

Do you feel you are neglecting your child if you are not with them every moment?

Do you think crying = mommy screwed up?

Do you believe that you are somehow making your child better by "sacrificing" your sleep for him?

If you said yes to any of those questions then you are mistaken.

Think about this: what is a parent's role? To prepare their children for adulthood. Sleep is good for kids. They grow when they are asleep. They are happier when they are well rested. (Ditto for you)They are developing habits that will last the rest of their lives.

So, mommy, suck it and sacrifice your feelings for the good of your child!

Here are my guidelines for a good sleeper ( I wouldn't really bother before they are 6 months old. Infants need lots of attention around the clock!)

1. Don't rush in every time they make a sound.  Some people are of the opinion that if their child might be crying and they don't get immediate attention they will be scarred for life. Others will let their kids scream and cry for hours. In my opinion, both are wrong. It's okay to let your child cry for a few minutes. If it is in the middle of the night, they might not even be awake. Give them a little space to figure things out. Eventually, they will have to learn to take care of themselves (unless you are planning to let them live with you for the rest of your lives!)

2. Try new things. Children change as they grow and develop. They might develop a fear of the dark. Trying a nightlight could help. Maybe they need a bedtime snack.  Maybe they are cold or hot at night. My kids seemed to need reassurance that I would be there when they woke up so "see you in the morning" has become part of our nightly routine. Each child is different, each circumstance is different. Experiment and see what works. Just remember the goal is sleep for everyone!

3. Don't reward night waking. It is so tempting to cuddle your baby, sing them lullabies, rock them to sleep, hold them in your arms and stare into their beautiful, angelic face. Do that stuff during the day. If your baby is getting lots attention from you at night they will keep waking up. Instead, keep the lights off, keep the cuddling to a minimum, don't sit on the couch and watch TV with them. Let them know sleep is the only option.

4. Remember who's in charge. That would be you. Parenting sometimes means doing the hard things for the right reasons. If your child is healthy, well-fed, clean, and loved, you are a great mom. Don't let them manipulate you into staying up all night playing and reading and hugging. You don't have to be mean. Just firm. Put them in bed and walk away. (It's okay if you go to your room and cry just don't let them know!)

5. You don't have to be mean to win. I am always shocked when I hear someone say "Oh, don't make them take a nap! That's so mean!" Seriously? No, I don't buy it. It is not mean to make them sleep. Kids need sleep. Parents need sleep. It isn't mean to want a basic human need. If you loose your temper because you are exhausted and you scream and cry and throw things then yeah, that's not good. But saying "Baby, it's time for bed. You need to go to sleep now. I will see you in the morning. Good Night" and then walking away, that's not mean.

6. Consistency is key. I used to think that meant never making exceptions, being ridged and immovable. But I have learned that consistency is much easier than that. In the case of sleeping, consistency simply means making sleep the priority. Maybe you give in sometimes. Maybe you let them stay up a little late once in while. It's okay. But if a good night's sleep is the goal you have to make that clear. You have to keep going back to it and keep doing what you need to do to get it.

7. Be a team. One of the best things my husband has done for me is be on my side in the sleep wars. He is often the voice of reason that says "Send them back to their own bed" when we have night time visitors. He reminds me of my ultimate goal and the consequences of giving in. Without him, I would be a sleep-deprived lunatic!

8. Don't fall for their excuses. As kids get a little older, they start trying to find ways to stay up. Don't fall for it. Make sure they go to the bathroom and get a drink before bed. When they need more tell them "Too bad! You can do that in the morning." They will keep trying and keep getting away with it if you let them.

It might take time. It will definitely take patience and determination. But it can be done!

Funny Things My Kids Have Said

My 10-year-old every time something is funny: "That's delirious!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

For weeks my 3-year-old has been asking for "My Pinchers". I couldn't figure out for the life of me what he was saying. He even made little pinching motions with his fingers. Finally, I said "Show me your pinchers." He brought me "The Avengers" DVD.   He still calls them "My Pinchers"

His new favorite is "Conformers." (Or possible CARformers, which is actually kind of cool!)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


My 11-year old daughter brought me a magazine. She pointed to a photo and said excitedly "I think I know her! She was in my class last year!" I expressed my doubts. "But it looks just like her!" she went on. "It's the splitting image of her!"


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

My ten-year-old son gets words mixed up sometimes. Yesterday, his sister was trying to get him to do something for her. He got kind of worked up and yelled at her. "Who do you think I am? Cellerinda?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

He also says "wiqulid". (This one makes me smile every time!)

Locks of Love

A few years ago someone told my daughter Jessica about Locks of Love. They explained that she could grow her hair long, cut it off and send it to this organization so they could make wigs for sick kids.

She loved the idea!

She had super thick hair. It was always a mess. It was easily tangled. No matter how much I brushed it she looked like a walking rag mop after just a few minutes of playing. It wasn't all bad. It held a curl easily and she really was beautiful...if she could keep from moving. Once she tossed her head a few times we were back to the rats nest. She even picked up the nickname Medusa!

She finally decided she was ready to donate her hair.

I could not be more pleased with the results!

The last picture of her long hair BEFORE the cut.

 

 

AFTER!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Bookend Birthdays and Frosty the Snowman

My oldest and youngest were born on the same day. Patrick is now 13. He loves his "twin" and does all kinds of thing with him and for him.

This Christmas, James discovered, well, Christmas. He especially likes Frosty the Snowman. He watched the move over and over. He tried singing the song. He even argued that Frosty brings presents, not Santa.

When we got our dollop of snow this week, Patrick was eager to please his little brother. He worked hard to give him his very own Frosty.

 

 

 

This was just a day before their birthdays. Here are their cakes.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Lessons From The Move; Part 4

How much do we really need?

I have asked myself this question before.

I know people who live on very small pay checks. They struggle from month to month but still manage to provide for their families. They live in cramped little houses or apartments but still find room for everyone and everything they need.

I been inside some of the homes my fore bearers lived in. They raised large families in those small spaces.

Sometimes I am envious of those simpler days. My parents had few toys when they were children. They both have many stories of their antics and adventures growing up. They seemed to have quite a bit of fun without rooms full of toys. They still cherish the few toys they did receive.

My kids have so many toys they don't know what to do with them all.

During the few months we were moving, we could fit everything we had with us in the back of a pick-up truck. We had just a few outfits each. I went to the laundromat every 3 days at the most. We had backpacks filled with toys, coloring books, crayons, school supplies, and books. We had a footlocker with plates, bowls, utensils, and just enough pots and pans to make basic meals.  We had pillows, blankets, and sleeping bags. I had a small bag filled with medications and band aids. My husband brought his laptop. All the things we needed for our basic needs plus some extras.

Of course, there were things we had to do without.

Privacy, for example.

And comfy beds. Even when we were staying with my parents we were sharing two bed rooms. The kids managed to pop the seams on 2 air mattresses so they ended up sleeping on the floor for a few weeks. While we were in a hotel they had to take turns sleeping on the floor or the sofa bed.

When the movers finally delivered all of our stuff we were overwhelmed.

There was plenty that we really did need. Like winter clothes. A printer. Some documents that we didn't hand-carry.  Our piano.

I didn't realize we had so many socks!

Do we really need that many shoes?

I am still trying to make all the books and toys fit.

I have already gotten rid of a large box and a garbage bag full of clothes.

This experience has made me look long and hard at our choices. The things of the world can be so enticing. I have never considered myself a "worldly" or "materialistic" person. I think most people today would agree with that. (We only have one TV and no smartphones!)That doesn't excuse that fact that we sometimes buy things we could do without.

There were times this summer when things got tight financially. In those moments, I regretted all those little things I bought that we didn't really need. A DVD here, a little fast food there. All those little splurges add up. In our time of true need we could have really used that cash. Those moments of pleasure and fun were gone and meaningless.

We all have to reach our own conclusions about what is a need and what is a want. We certainly should be able to enjoy life from time to time. You can't put a price on memories, right?

We should also be conservative.

I learned that my kids really don't need more clothes or toys. I don't need more craft supplies (that I rarely make the time to use!).

Right now our needs are simple. We need friendship. We need security. We need rest from our trial. We need time to settle into our new home.

Oh, yeah. And we need curtains.

Other than that, we're good.

Too Much Of A Good Thing?

Well, we still don't have a house...Yet. I have to admit it is starting to get to me. It is getting to the kids, too.

Today I went to the store. My 4 year old cried to go with me.

"Why? Don't you want to stay here and play?"

"No! I'm too scared to stay here!"

"What are you scared of?"

"I'm scared that Grandma will kiss me a whole bunch!"

Superpowers 101: Moving With Kids

Moving is difficult all by itself. Moving with kids can be a nightmare!

Here are a few tips that have made this stressful time a little more bearable.

1. Talk To The Kids. Talking to the kids on their level can make a huge difference. Kids have feelings, too, you know. A 4 year old might be anxious about their toys and bed. A few reassuring words and a hug can go a long way. Older kids will likely be concerned about making friends and fitting in at a new school. My girls really enjoyed looking at potential houses online. The boys were more interested in school activities and sports.

2. Give Them A Job. Even my 2 year old wanted to be helpful while we cleaned and packed and painted. Of course not every job is kid friendly. Sometimes let the little ones carry things or put something in a bag or box or suitcase. They LOVED it! I gave them a damp sponge and let them clean the kitchen floor. The big kids were very helpful with yard work, cleaning windows, cleaning floors, suitcase packing, and babysitting while we were doing less kids-friendly jobs. There are MANY simple tasks kids can do that make the process just a little easier. This also gives us a chance to talk about their concerns.

3. Allow For a Little Freedom. Each of our kids has a backpack. I allowed them to pack whatever they wanted to keep themselves entertained. They chose toys and books that they personally like. I was a little surprised by what they chose and what they left behind. Not one has complained about their choices. They also are able to play with the things the other children brought so there is some variety.

4. Feeding The Masses. This can be quite a challenge with a large family. Eating at a restaurant can be very expensive, especially if it takes a while to get into a house. Staying in a hotel that offers a hot breakfast can be a HUGE benefit. Even if they just offer cereal, you can feed the kids one meal a day with no added expense.

Look for deals and coupons at local restaurants. We were able to feed the kids a hearty meal at a sit-down restaurant with a "kids-eat-free" night for less than any fast-food place. Even though there is often a limit on the number of kids who eat free it still gave us a sizable discount.

Most hotels offer a microwave and small refrigerator in the rooms. You can buy food at a grocery store and eat adequate meals for much less than a restaurant. Sandwiches, salads, and fresh fruit are filling and healthy. (If your kids aren't used to eating these foods you might get some resistance. Consider eating this way on a regular basis so your family is prepared for unexpected changes)

5. In The Car.  As I mentioned, the kids packed their own bag of toys. This helped keep them entertained in the car.

I also like DVD's for the car. The biggest challenge is that not all the kids can watch at once. We broke down and bought a second DVD player so we have once for each seat. (Some cars come with this but ours doesn't). The biggest drawback to this is that the kids sometimes throw the disks in the floor and they are scratched beyond repair.

My kids like to color in the car, too. It helps to have a book and crayons for each child so they don't fight over them. They are cheap enough to do this easily.

My older kids have started playing road games.  They like the alphabet game, finding each letter in order on road signs.

My daughter recently played the license plate game with me. We found 23 states in just a few hours. (This also gave us time to talk between sightings.)

Four-Year-Olds....

Sunady was Fast and Testimony Meeting. Two of my boys went up to bear their testimonies. My 4 year-old daughter asked "Can I go up there?"
"Sure. But you have to bear your testimony."
"Will you go with me?"
"I'll think about it."
"Well, don't break your back."

Called out by a preschooler!


****************************
A few weeks ago, this same kid was watching some show anout animals. A little later, she came hopping into the room and said "Mommy! I'm a Kanagroo!"


***************

She also screams at me every time I step on a crack in the sidewalk!"DON'T STEP ON THE CRACKS!!!!"

Superpowers 101: Military Homecoming Posters

We were a few short weeks from the end of my husband's deployment.

The kids were so excited they were literally bouncing off the walls!

I needed to channel all that excess energy in a way that would let them focus on their Daddy coming home.

I decided it was time to make the posters.

I searched the Internet for ideas. Pinterest. Military sites. I tried every kind of search keyword combination I could think of. I found a lot of generic stuff.
"We love you"
"We missed you"
"Welcome Home"


I found a few that were suggestive and not really something a child would say to their dad. I was getting frustrated.

My husband would be home shortly after Valentine's Day. As I looked at all the silly little cards my kids gave and received for Valentine's Day I got a few ideas. I realized that the message of the posters was that the kids loved and missed their Daddy. I also realized that some of the kids had short attention spans. I was delighted to find a way of keeping them engaged in the project.

Here are the ideas we used.

This is a picture of a good memory he had with his Dad.

This was going to say "You are the best Daddy in the world" but she forgot so we left it the way it is.

This has transformers that my son chose and colored himself. It says "My hero is more than meets the eye!"

This one just says "I love you" with a picture of her and Daddy...and lots of hearts!

"Daddy, I care-a-lot about you!" with Carebears she chose and glued onto the poster.

"My hero doesn't wear a mask". He chose and colored his other favorite superheros and drew a picture of himself and Daddy as superheros.

I saw some other cool ideas in the hangar that night. One that I especially liked was a large arrow that said "Report here" then the name of the soldier.

I realized that making a memorable, meaningful poster doesn't have to be fancy. It doens't require a lot of skill either. Just a little thought and some creativity.

Superwoman Bakes a Cake

I always make a personalized cake for my kids' birthdays. Here are few of my favorites.

The second birthday is really the best. That is when they actually know what cake is!

Tron Light cycle cake.

Turned out pretty good, huh?

Transformer battle cake



Another version of a Tangled cake.



Gingerbread House/Birthday Cake

This cake is made with just a gingerbread cookie recipe. I used a paper template to cut out the house and cookie cutters for the smaller shapes. I used homemade butter cream frosting for the white and Wilton colored frosting tubes for the red and green. I used sprinkles to decorate as desired.

The windows were made from melted hard candy left over from Halloween. I put crushed candy into the openings cut with cookie cutters and let them melt in the oven for a few minutes. I baked everything on silicone baking sheets and let them cool before removing. It turned out great!

Construction Cake

My mom found these construction truck candles. I created this cake around the candles we already had. I used Kit Kat candy bars for the lettering and the "dirt".



Sunshine Cake



This wasn't my first Sunshine Cake. This one has more details. I used pre-made red for the face. I used red and yellow colored sugar sprinkles for the "rays". I made a paper stencil for the wavy parts. The rays are just sugar cones covered with yellow frosting. I used store-bought frosting with yellow food coloring.

Swimming Pool Cake

This was REALLY tricky! The blue is Jell-o. It leaked through the frosting that was supposed to cover "pool" floor.If you try this make sure you have a very thick layer of frosting with no gaps!

 Everything else is candy of colored frosting. Teddy Grahams for the people, Skittles for the tiles. gum for the chairs and floats. Starburst for the lifeguard chair.



Cheeseburger Cake

I used 2 cake mixes for this. I used white frosting with a little chocolate mixed in for light brown. I used Cocoa Krispies for the texture on the burger. I used other colored frosting for green, red, and yellow. I covered graham crackers for the cheese, covered Ritz crackers for the pickles and rice cakes for the tomatoes. Marshmallows for the eyes.






Avatar; The Last Airbender Cake

 

I thought this would be hard but once I figured out how I could do it this was actually pretty simple. The Fire Nation ships are Graham crackers covered in Wilton black frosting. The Water Tribe ice wall is marshmallows. The other details are teddy grahams and pre-colored frosting. 











Rapunzel/ Tangled Cake

 

This is a layer of several different cakes held together with a large skewer. The roof of the tower is a large sugar cone. I also used graham crackers to make a ledge and a door. (I used toothpicks to hold things up as needed). The rest is Wilton frosting tubes in various colors. I used sugar pearls for the center of each flower.

  










Castle Birthday Cake



I have also made other castles cakes. This one is is less involved than others. I made a square layer cake for the center. The towers are cake cones and large sugar cones. I used store-bought spray frosting and colored frosting for the decoration. I used sugar wafer cookies for stairs and battlements.

Happy 12th Birthday to my boy on the brink of manhood.

If

by Rudyard Kipling

If you can keep your head when all about you

Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;

If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,

But make allowance for their doubting too;

If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,

Or, being lied about, don't deal in lies,

Or, being hated, don't give way to hating,

And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise;

If you can dream - and not make dreams your master;

If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim;

If you can meet with triumph and disaster

And treat those two imposters just the same;

If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken

Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,

Or watch the things you gave your life to broken,

And stoop and build 'em up with wornout tools;

If you can make one heap of all your winnings

And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,

And lose, and start again at your beginnings

And never breath a word about your loss;

If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew

To serve your turn long after they are gone,

And so hold on when there is nothing in you

Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on";

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,

Or walk with kings - nor lose the common touch;

If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;

If all men count with you, but none too much;

If you can fill the unforgiving minute

With sixty seconds' worth of distance run -

Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,

And - which is more - you'll be a Man my son!

Ignorance Is NOT Bliss...Or Is It?

Deployments are hard. They are stressful and put random strains on you that you don't expect. There is also a Murphy's Law that if something can go wrong it will happen during a deployment.


Now, I don't really put much stock in such superstitions. I think stuff will happen no matter what. It is just more upsetting when you are shouldering the burdens alone.

We are now about 2 months into this relatively short deployment. And it is holiday season. The kids and I wanted a break. We discussed it and decided to spend Thanksgiving with my family in North Carolina. My husband was not thrilled about this idea. We discussed it. A lot. Sometimes after we talked I had such a feeling of foreboding that I didn't even want to leave the house! The decision was still unmade the morning we planned to leave. I mean, we had packed and stopped the mail and newspaper and done everything as if we were going but I wasn't going anywhere until I was sure of what to do and I just wasn't.

I had prayed about it a few times and was still coming up blank. I even wondered if I was being like Joseph Smith and the 116 lost pages, asking over and over when the answer was no. But I hadn't really gotten a no either.

So, that morning, I gathered the kids together and discussed the situation. I explained that there was going to be some possible bad weather. I explained that one of them had been sick just the day before and the others might get sick on the trip if it was going around like it does in big families. I told them we could go for Christmas instead. We all wanted to go now. We all wanted to spend Christmas in our own home. So we prayed again.

I remember at some point that morning pleading for assurance that either decision was best. I was so torn and I really needed an answer either way. I silently asked if we would be safe. Suddenly I had the assurance I was seeking. Yes, we would be safe.

That was good enough for me. We loaded up the care and headed out. It rained for the first half of the trip. Normally I hate driving in rain. I hate being a passenger in heavy rain! But this time I was fine. I was cheerful. I drove right through the storm without feeling stressed out at all. We got beyond the storm and headed on to my parents house.

We enjoyed a wonderful Thanksgiving with cousins and grandparents, aunts and uncles. I got to hold one of the newest members of the family. All the kids played really well the whole time. I talked a lot with my dad and my brother who had flown in from Utah. My grandmother had the great-granddaughters over for a sleepover, just like when I was a kid and spent the night with my cousins there. And on the other side of the family all 20 of the great-grandchildren were together for the first time and were able to take a picture together with their great-grandmother. My oldest son played football with his second cousins and had a great time. We were treated to a mini concert by my cousin's daughter on her tiny cello and her dad let all the little kids try it out (My kids LOVED it!!!) I spent some time with my mom and sister-in-law shopping on Black Friday. And I came home with lots of Christmas presents to go under our tree!

I had planned to drive home on Monday. The extended forecast had shown rain on Monday and Tuesday so I considered leaving Sunday. When my youngest woke up Saturday with an eye infection I considered it again. Honestly, I wasn’t quite ready to go back to real life. There was now a slow-moving winter storm coming right across our path home. If I waited it out we wouldn't leave until Wednesday or Thursday. I decided to go on Monday as planned. I felt uncertain about what to do but I didn't know why. I did think of asking my dad to check out the Suburban for me but I felt kind of silly. We had done a lot of work to it and there was nothing to suggest that anything was wrong. Well, I had to add a gallon of coolant on the way there so I had been keeping an eye on that. I even checked it before I left and bought 2 gallons to keep with me just in case but it was fine.

The first part of the trip was great we had pretty good weather and made good time to Knoxville, TN. That is about half way for us. We stopped for lunch at McDonalds and I let the kids play for about an hour. We filled up the tank and started back on I-40. At which point I couldn't go above 50mph and the RPM's shot up to 5!!! I didn’t know what was wrong so I pulled over and checked for a flat tired or parking brake but everything looked okay. I went on to the next exit and got off. We drove around for a few minutes looking for a place to park so I could use the GPS to find a mechanic. I saw a lube shop and stopped there. The man was VERY nice and said they could take a look and either fix it or tell us where to take it.

First, they found a bad leak in the transmission line. Apparently it had been cut and sliced with rubber hose which was not good enough. They replaced it with a metal pipe and assured me that it would last for a while. But after adding 5 quarts of fluid it still wouldn't shift into third gear. They said the upper gears were bad and I should put it in2nd gear to drive. "Don't go above 45 and you should be fine." They suggested the interstate because it would be the straightest, shortest route and limit more wear on the gears.

We had 225 miles to go. It was raining pretty hard. 45 isn't bad in those conditions. We drove about 2 hours before it was dark and clear... and 70 mph. We were stopped by a state trooper. He wasn't very helpful but said that if I got off at the next exit I could take a highway that ran parallel to the interstate “for a while". We crawled along to the exit and got something to eat. Well, the kids ate. I was too upset to eat. I bought a map (since GPS can be really stupid!) and took that highway to the next town, about 20 miles. The clerk that sold me the map said there was nothing after that. (He turned out to be right!)

We got a hotel in Cookesville. I didn't want to try the unfamiliar roads at night, in bad weather with a flood watch out. I couldn't risk being stuck in the middle of nowhere with 7 kids. I didn't sleep well. But we got a free breakfast and I was able to email my husband. (Did I mention he's deployed?) Until this point I had considered getting it fixed, even if we had to stay a few days. That didn't quite seem like the best idea (think of keeping 7 kids entertained without a car... and did I mention the winter storm? No exactly walking weather!) I did a quick search for "rebuild transmission cost" and saw that the top few results were around 2000-2500.

Okay, never mind. I guess we will keep going. I prayed a lot that morning. I felt like we should stop by the dealership that the GPS had shown. I talked to the guy about cost, time, and how to get home in 2nd gear. He basically confirmed everything I already knew but at least that was reassuring. He and another guy said the highway I had taken to get there would go all the way to Nashville and I should have no trouble getting home if I took it slow. I also asked about a 9 passenger vehicle, just in case. The guy made some suggestions but didn't have one. I decided to keep going. Before I even got out of town my husband called. He made more suggestion, mainly to go slow (about 35) and add some Transmedic to protect what was left of the transmission. I went right back to the place across from the dealer and the guys there put some stuff in it for me.

We drove down this quiet, scenic country road for hours. I tried to stay around 30 mph. I did NOT want to ruin that gear! We made slow and steady progress. We stopped for lunch at another McDonalds and the kids played for a while. I bought more maps and called a few people from our ward to make sure I was looking at the right roads. By then I was sure of what I was doing and where I was going. My only anxiety was whether the transmission would last until we got home.

Well, it did. We got home after driving for about 7 hours at 30 miles per hour. And the kids were ready to kill each other! (Did I mention I didn't bring a DVD player and I don't have a smart phone? We were really low-tech on this trip!)

Here are some things I learned from this:

I learned that the tender mercies of the Lord are indeed a "multitude". We were able to find good people to help us along the way. We were able to feed ourselves. We were able to travel through a very beautiful area and enjoy it because we weren't racing through it. We had some good talks and prayed together and sang Christmas songs and Primary songs. There was no quick fix. We all had to find better ways to do things. We had to put our personal comforts aside to accommodate the needs of others. We had to really look at each other and acknowledge each other. Let me tell you, it was HARD!!! I have felt for a long time that we are too selfish. Now I see that we really do need to work on that.

At one point I decided to tell some stories. The first one I picked was "The Christmas Oranges". I sobbed through the whole thing! I had been feeling really guilty about this car issue. I don't like to make mistakes. And I am not very forgiving of myself. I imagined that I was little girl, crying into my pillow thinking "I don't deserve an orange anyway!!" And yet there are always people who are very willing to make sacrifices to make it better. Especially the Savior.

And that isn't all! When I got home I had an email that told a similar story of overlooking the flaws of others. I had another with a video clip by Elder Russell M. Nelson about fear and faith. AND a friend of ours was planning to come till the garden while we were gone. I came home to trimmed bushed, racked flower beds, cut grass including the trimming, and beautifully tilled garden! It looked so great even the kids noticed!

I'm pretty sure this isn't the end of this lesson. I still feel really uncertain about the immediate future. But I have a sure hope that it will all work out.

On our way home we saw a rainbow across the road. As we drove the rainbow moved with us. Here are the pictures taken by my 10 year old daughter. You can see a double rainbow in some of the pictures. And, yes, it was raining at the time! (Oh, yeah, that is just a big stick smudge in the middle that I can't get off. Oh, well!)