Superpowers 101: Moving With Kids

Moving is difficult all by itself. Moving with kids can be a nightmare!

Here are a few tips that have made this stressful time a little more bearable.

1. Talk To The Kids. Talking to the kids on their level can make a huge difference. Kids have feelings, too, you know. A 4 year old might be anxious about their toys and bed. A few reassuring words and a hug can go a long way. Older kids will likely be concerned about making friends and fitting in at a new school. My girls really enjoyed looking at potential houses online. The boys were more interested in school activities and sports.

2. Give Them A Job. Even my 2 year old wanted to be helpful while we cleaned and packed and painted. Of course not every job is kid friendly. Sometimes let the little ones carry things or put something in a bag or box or suitcase. They LOVED it! I gave them a damp sponge and let them clean the kitchen floor. The big kids were very helpful with yard work, cleaning windows, cleaning floors, suitcase packing, and babysitting while we were doing less kids-friendly jobs. There are MANY simple tasks kids can do that make the process just a little easier. This also gives us a chance to talk about their concerns.

3. Allow For a Little Freedom. Each of our kids has a backpack. I allowed them to pack whatever they wanted to keep themselves entertained. They chose toys and books that they personally like. I was a little surprised by what they chose and what they left behind. Not one has complained about their choices. They also are able to play with the things the other children brought so there is some variety.

4. Feeding The Masses. This can be quite a challenge with a large family. Eating at a restaurant can be very expensive, especially if it takes a while to get into a house. Staying in a hotel that offers a hot breakfast can be a HUGE benefit. Even if they just offer cereal, you can feed the kids one meal a day with no added expense.

Look for deals and coupons at local restaurants. We were able to feed the kids a hearty meal at a sit-down restaurant with a "kids-eat-free" night for less than any fast-food place. Even though there is often a limit on the number of kids who eat free it still gave us a sizable discount.

Most hotels offer a microwave and small refrigerator in the rooms. You can buy food at a grocery store and eat adequate meals for much less than a restaurant. Sandwiches, salads, and fresh fruit are filling and healthy. (If your kids aren't used to eating these foods you might get some resistance. Consider eating this way on a regular basis so your family is prepared for unexpected changes)

5. In The Car.  As I mentioned, the kids packed their own bag of toys. This helped keep them entertained in the car.

I also like DVD's for the car. The biggest challenge is that not all the kids can watch at once. We broke down and bought a second DVD player so we have once for each seat. (Some cars come with this but ours doesn't). The biggest drawback to this is that the kids sometimes throw the disks in the floor and they are scratched beyond repair.

My kids like to color in the car, too. It helps to have a book and crayons for each child so they don't fight over them. They are cheap enough to do this easily.

My older kids have started playing road games.  They like the alphabet game, finding each letter in order on road signs.

My daughter recently played the license plate game with me. We found 23 states in just a few hours. (This also gave us time to talk between sightings.)

Superpowers 101:Moving- Packing List

Here are sample packing lists. 

Clothes
4 pants
6 shirts
5 underwear
6 pair of socks
1 pajamas
1 bathing suit
    Boys
1 church shirt
1 church pants
1 church socks
1 church shoes
1 tie
     Girls
1 dress
1 tights
1 church shoes


 I usually only plan for 4 or 5 days worth of clothes at the most. I expect to do laundry every few days at the most. Consider bringing detergent with you.




Unaccompanied Baggage
Towels (1 per person)
Wash cloths (one per person)
2-4 kitchen towels
2 pots (different sizes according to your needs)
1 frying pan
1 spatula (turner)
1 scrapper spatula
1 mixing bowl
1-2 serving/stirring spoon
1 grater
forks (1 per person)
spoons (1 per person)
butter knife (at least 1)
sharp knife (at least 1)
Baking dish
Cookie Sheet
1 Whisk
Plates (1 per person)
Bowls (1 per person)
Measuring cups
Measuring spoons
Basic spices (salt, pepper, sugar.These can be purchased later if necessary)

You can make most basic meals with this list, including sandwiches, cereal, pasta, burgers, hot dogs, cakes, brownies, etc. Adapt it for your own needs. I like to start this early and add to it as I notice what I use often. It also helps to make a list of easy meals you can eat during this time. Then you can make a more accurate list.

Superpowers 101: Provident Living, part 1

One of my favorite movies is "Blast from the Past", starring Brendan Fraser. It is about a quirky family from the sixties who build a HUGE fallout shelter and are mistakenly locked inside for 35 years. While the story is funny and kind of sweet, the thing that fascinates me about it is the amount of planning and foresight involved in keeping the family alive, underground, sealed in a vault, for 35 years. They have a greenhouse, fish tank, and TONS of "food storage" including fabric, toothpaste, books, power sources, tools, materials to make whatever they may need, the list goes on and on. Each time I watch this movie I am awed by the amount of time it would take to prepare in that way. Of course it is only fiction.

In reality, most people don't have anything stored. They buy little bits at a time, whenever they need it, they buy it. Sometimes they buy when they don't need it. If it breaks, or looses it's value in any way, it is often thrown away, wasted in the garbage heap for no good reason. Here is a case in point.

Years ago, my dad noticed an electric pencil sharpener sitting on the floor in the office where he worked. He learned that it didn't work and was there to be thrown away. He asked if he could take it home for my brothers to take apart. (Boys like doing that sort of thing sometimes.) When he got home, the first thing they did was open the little drawer on the front that catches the pencil shavings. It was PACKED!!! It was so full they had trouble getting it opened. After emptying the drawer, they plugged it in and, you guessed it, it worked like a charm. We used that pencil sharpener for many years. In fact, my parents may still have it!.

That experience alone taught me a great lesson about waste. As the years have passed, I have become more and more disgusted by the  wasteful attitudes that are so common in the world today. For example, we bought a new TV a few years ago. Our old TV was showing signs of age and we were sure it wouldn't lat much longer. We put "old trusty" in a spare room and used the new TV in the living room. It lasted 3 years. One day, we couldn't turn it on. After a few calls and internet searches, we learned that the average lifespan for that model was 3-5 years. Our experience with it was typical and there was nothing that could be done. "It wasn't made to last. "

Everyone seemed confused by our disappointment. "Now you can get a newer one." they said. WE couldn't seem to explain that we didn't want to buy a new TV every 3 years. We pulled out "old trusty" and used that TV for a few months until we bought another new one. Trusty has now died...after 12 years and several moves! What continues to make this whole experience frustrating is that we have been told more than once that the TV we bought a year ago is an "older model" and why haven't we upgraded yet?

I know what you are thinking. Technology is moving forward and we have to keep up. I can accept that...to an extent. But what about non-technical things? My husband sometimes gives me a hard time about keeping too much stuff because I might use it one day. I have challenged myself to actually make good on this claim. Lately I have been careful to look at what I already have before going out and buying more. So if I need yarn, I need to use what I have on hand rather than buying new yarn. (I have WAY too much as it is... for some reason I can't explain.)

I recently took this a step further. A few years ago, my son wanted to be a pirate for Halloween. I went to the local thrift store and bought several pairs of pants for him to try. They were a few dollars each, of different sizes and colors. He chose one pair to use and the others went in a box, where they stayed for at least 2 years. 

As my daughters have gotten older, I have been disappointed in the choices available to them in the skirt department (I will talk about that more later). I decided to make some modest skirts for them out of old pants. I made one out of a pair of jeans that were too short but still fit in the waist. The other was made from one of those pairs of "pirate pants". I was able to easily take out the seams, sew the pieces together, add an elastic waistband, and hem. I was impressed with how well they turned out. The girls were very happy.

This simple act of reusing something I already had left me with a tremendous sense of accomplishment and satisfaction. Buying new things sometimes leaves me feeling empty, even when it is something I need. I find that I have sometimes settled. I got what they had, not what I really wanted. I have taken the easy way. 

In contrast, I love the feeling I get when I can go to the closet and pull out the hand-me-downs. I love the feeling of making something myself. I love trying a new thing to see if I can do it and I find that I can. Sometimes I think that is what is really missing in the world. Too few people ask "What can I do with what I have?" They don't exercise their minds and bodies in a way that is productive.

I have more to say about this but I will stop for now. In the mean time, I hope you will take the time to look at what you have differently. What would you do if you couldn't buy anything new for an extended period of time? Could you do it? For how long? I hope we never have to go 35 years, like the family in the movie. But what if we had to go a few weeks? A few months? A year? What would you need to have on hand to make it through a difficult time? What skills would you need? What knowledge? What supplies?

Think about it for a while. Maybe there is something simple you can change about your habits that will make a big difference later on. Good luck!

Superpowers 101: Fulfilling your New Year's Resolutions!

It is a new year and that means time for change. People all over the world are thinking of ways they can improve themselves over the next twelve months. Even as those millions are seriously reviewing their lives and wanting to change, most of them know that they will not actually do it. For the past few weeks, TV programs have given advice and made jokes about New Year's Resolutions in the same broadcast. It seems that for many people, breaking your resolutions is just part of the celebration.

I can remember my parents encouraging us to make goals for the coming year when I was young. I clearly remember making a list that included "save $100.00", never mind the fact that I didn't have an allowance and was too young to have a job of any kind. How was I ever going to save that much when I probably wouldn't have more than a few dollars to call my own for the entire year?

I also remember feeling frustrated that I never achieved the goals I made. They were simply written on a piece of paper and put in a drawer. Sometimes I hung my list on my wall, thinking it would help me remember. It didn't.

The truth was, my goals were more like dreams. I had NO plans for actually achieving those goals. If I had the foresight to think about what would be required of me to complete some of those goals I would have realized how far-fetched they really were.

When I was 15, I made a New Year's Resolution to read the scriptures everyday. I had a Daily Scripture Reading Chart that I got from who knows where and hung it on my wall. I had heard that you have to do something 13 times before it becomes a habit so my goal was to read every night for 13 days. The first few days of the month were easy. I didn't have school or homework so I could just read a chapter or so when I felt like it.

I was determined to read every day. I wish I could say that I was motivated by some spiritual desires. I wasn't. Well, maybe a little. My biggest motivation was Seminary. At that time, our stake Seminary program gave gift certificates to an LDS bookstore as rewards for various accomplishments in Seminary. If you memorized all 25 Scripture Mastery scriptures you might get a $5.00 gift certificate. There were awards for reading the entire book of scripture we were studying that year, attendance, and incremental prizes for consecutive scripture reading. The longer you read, the more you got.

This was highly motivating for me. I also found that I felt extremely competitive when it came to Seminary. I wanted to have the most recognition. I wanted to be among the "best in the stake", as I saw it. I was not gifted in sports or dancing or a number of other activities that were common for the youth, but I could read and memorize and learn about the scriptures.

A funny thing happened because of this less-than-virtuous motivation; I grew to love the scriptures. I learned SO much during the next few years. I read and studied and soaked in the truths of the gospel and the Spirit that came with it. My goals became more about maintaining that spirit and understanding than receiving a reward. By the time I was a Senior, the rewards for Seminary had deflated to simply a certificate and a handshake. But I had learned that the greater reward was intangible.

That experience alone taught me more about goal setting than I could ever learn from a book or class. Although I have not always followed the lessons I learned then, I know they are true and simple. Here are the highlights for keeping your resolutions.

1. Don't over-do it. My initial goal was to read for 13 days. Then I wanted to see how long I could do it without missing a day. I never said I would do it for the whole year. I also didn't make several goals, just one. I could easily focus on one simple change, one addition to my routine.  When I had established it as a habit I was free to add things like journal writing. I did this with changing my families eating habits. I made the goal to always have fresh fruit in the house and encourage the kids to eat it. It didn't take much effort and soon the kids were asking for grapes and bananas instead of chips and cookies.

2. Be flexible. My goal to read the scripture was simple: read a chapter every night. When I came to an obstacle to that plan, I adjusted as I needed to. The "spirit of the goal" was to make scripture study a part of every day. If I couldn't do it by reading from them, I could at least think about the verses I knew and "study" in my head.

3. Have a motivation. For me, the motivation to read and study the scriptures was a tangible reward. Over time, I didn't need that reward anymore. I have found with the goal of "saving money", it is much easier if you have a reason to save. An abstract concept like "retirement" is not much of a motivator. If you are saving so you can retire at a certain age or buy your dream house or go on a trip around the world, it is much easier to motivate yourself.

4. Check yourself from time to time.  The whole point of making a true resolution is to change yourself permanently. If you aren't careful you can slip back into old habits without realizing it. This happened to me in college. It was so subtle too. My roommates and I read the scriptures together every morning. When I found myself working late or otherwise too tired for personal study I thought "Well, we read this morning so I can skip tonight." Soon I had completely lost my established habit of daily scripture study. I never really got it back. I do plenty of studying but not consistently. We read as a family at night but I don't have my own study time. I have found it difficult to properly motivate myself to have my own, personal scripture study on a daily basis.

When I think of the failures to keep a resolution, or especially the failure to maintain a good, established habit, I am reminded of a verse in Alma 5 : 26. "And now behold, I say unto you, my brethren, if ye have experienced a change of heart, and if ye have felt to sing the song of redeeming love, I would ask, can ye feel so now?" I find that phrase running through my head all the time; Can ye feel so now? Sometimes the answer is yes, sometimes it is no. When the answer is no, I know I need to make a change.

I don't always like change, especially when I am the one who needs changing. I like to make excuses and I have a Ph.D. in rationalizing procrastination. But the truth is, there is now need to wait for anything, not a new week or a new month or a new year. When we know a change is needed, we should do it then. What if there is no tomorrow or next week or next year?

One of my favorite quotes from President Gordon B. Hinckley sums up my New Year's Resolutions and my goals for every other day too. "Try a little harder to be a little better." So simple and clear. I think that is one resolution I can keep!

Superpowers 101: Magnifying Your Calling

My kids have discovered magnifying glasses. They wander through the house and yard looking at everything they pass through this amazing device. I have always liked them myself. You can take a very dull, ordinary object and look at it through a magnifying glass and suddenly it becomes fascinating. Even more amazing are microscopes that seem to make things appear out of nowhere. Of course, that only happens if you make the effort to see it that way.

We had a talk in church today about magnifying our callings. In the LDS church a calling is an assignment to serve in a certain position for an unspecified amount of time. We believe that callings come from God. When we talk about magnifying a calling it usually means doing more than the basics. Let me give you an example.

When I was a teenager, a friend of mine was called to play the piano in Sacrament Meeting (the main church service). She was only 14 and we had a large congregation. She was nervous and a little overwhelmed.

I remember her being very critical of herself, pointing out that she had messed up on the third verse or had not gotten the tempo right in a certain place. Most people didn't notice. She played the hymns. We sang them. That was good enough.

Over the next few years, she studied and practiced and improved her piano skills. Her ability to play the notes and make fewer mistakes improved. Was she magnifying her calling? No, she was just becoming a better pianist.

I don't mean to say that she was not talented or that her musical ability was lacking in some way. I am only pointing out that the ability to do something well does not mean you are "magnifying" that task. You might be thinking, "It is just playing the piano. What else can you do?" I will tell you.

My friend played the piano every Sunday for about 4 years. During that time, she often spoke of how she prepared for Sunday. She said she would read the lyrics and ponder the message of the hymn. She would then pray that she would be able to convey that message through her playing. She said she tried to bear her testimony of that particular subject through her playing.

I can remember being at her house for early-morning seminary (a scripture study class for high school students). Before we left for school she would quickly play though a hymn or even a portion of it, because she wanted to make sure it was right for Sunday. She said she was "playing it for the Lord". Honestly, I thought she was being a showoff. We all knew she was a wonderful pianist and she always lived up to her reputation.

Sundays had became a welcome respite for me during this time. Church was a place for me to see friends who shared my values, learn about the gospel of Jesus Christ, and feel the Spirit. I enjoyed music and sang in my high school chorus for 4 years. Singing the hymns was a wonderful addition to Sunday. I remember feeling the Spirit confirm those simple truths as we sang.

After high school I attended BYU. To say there are a lot of musical people at BYU is like saying there are a lot of Mormons there.  I was exposed to many extremely talented pianists. There was no shortage of young men and women who could sit down at a piano and play whatever was put in front of them. To put it simply, they were technically proficient. Many were skilled at adding emotion and feeling, making the music seem alive. Yet something was different.

I was slightly up off by this at first. Over time I came to realize what was different. It was the preparation. Not the temporal preparation but the spiritual preparation. I realized that I had taken for grated the time and sincerity my friend had put into her calling. She had not simply played a hymn well. She had been playing it with a purpose. She had prepared, not for herself, but to make the music the best she could for those she served, including her Father in Heaven.

Since coming to that realization, I have viewed callings differently. Sometimes they may seem small and of no consequence. That is only because we have not magnified them to see what they could be. Imagine what the world would be like if everyone approached their callings in life the way my friend did. Not to do it the "very best ever". To do it with the attitude that we are serving others and serving the Lord. Shouldn't we be giving Him the best we have to offer? Don't the people we serve deserve to have us do more than "good enough"?

I know you might be thinking that you are not a member of my faith and you don't have a calling. What about your calling as a parent or spouse or child? Are we doing the basics, being technically proficient, or are we seeking spiritual guidance to magnify our callings for the betterment of all?

I don't claim to be consistent at magnifying my callings...any of them. But I know that when I have the attitude of serving God and my fellow beings, I do a better job. I think it is because I don't always know what to do or how to do it. But my Heavenly Father does. If I seek his guidance, he will direct me to doing those things that will mean the most to those around me. It isn't about fitting into a mold or doing something a certain way. It is about doing what is needed, when it is needed, how it is needed. Even a Superwoman doesn't know that.

Superpowers 101: Organization

I attended a meeting today of the local military MOPS (Mothers Of Preschoolers). It was about organization. I had to smile as I listened to the comments and presentations that were made about being organized. One idea especially struck me.

The woman sharing this insight said that organization is more than having a plan, it is including others in the plan so that you can be successful. She pointed out that you have to tell your kids where their shoes go, you can't just expect them to know because you know where you want them. I laughed to myself, thinking of the important combination of organizing and communicating.

Other comments reminded me that you have to choose your battles. I didn't really know what that meant when I first started having children. Now I have a pretty good idea. It means decide what things MUST be done and let the other things go. So if you don't like having food all over your house then make a LAW that food stays in the kitchen and enforce it like the Gestapo!

Well, maybe not that strict but you get the picture. As the law maker you can change them if you need to and make exceptions from time to time. I advise against that. Your kids will think they can bend you all the time. It takes some time and self-discipline but it really works. In the long run you have kids who always know where their stuff is or only eat in the kitchen.

My kids have it in their heads that they can't eat on the carpet so they will stand on the edge between the kitchen and the living room trying to eat and watch TV. I am having to start over with my little ones, telling them to take their cookie back to the table. They are getting it a lot faster than the older kids for 2 reasons. 1. I am more insistent, 2. They have more role models telling them what to do (and not do).

I am still a long way from where I want to be but I can see the progress and the fruits of my efforts. That makes me feel good. Everything in life is a process. We learn line upon line, precept upon precept. What matters is that we are moving forward.